R.I.P. (Radical. Immortal. Poetry.)

Torn Between

Passing through a sea of strangers,

I feel so afraid of many dangers.

One of which is losing your forever

Why can't we just be perfectly together?

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I hate every ounce of my vulnerability

Eating away my every capability

To be rational, calm and prepared.

I feel so exposed, weak and bared.

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We both started this, I don't want it to end.

Our differences, can't we compromise or bend?

I'm so torn between giving up and holding on.

The weight is as heavy as a ton.

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Would you rather choose trivial matters over our relationship?

Is our love not worthy to triumph over hardship?

More than a decade together, yet vows never had a fruition.

Was our future just all my crazy assumption?

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My faithfulness and efforts, was it all wasted?

Was it all just fun and great memories while it lasted?

No wonder all these years, doubt crept within me insidiously.

I feel betrayed, like I'm not worth becoming family.

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Was this all just a lesson in life that needed to be learned?

Is it wrong that happiness in this fallen world is what I yearned?

I'm tired of analyzing my worth to you.

I'm not sure anymore, if your love is true.

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I want a break from inside of my head,

If I stay too long, I'll keep wishing I'm dead.

God, I want that hope and future you promised to me.

Because right now, it's only darkness that I can see.

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Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Sept. 22, 2022