Lachrymose Well

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How long will it take before I crumble and fall apart?

Did I open the wrong door from the very start?

The uncertainty and fear is eating me away.

I still want the future we don't have yet - enough to make me stay.

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More than a decade, I've been eagerly waiting.

I've never been this patient for anything.

But something surfaces from my well every now and then.

The question it asks me every time - "when?"

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When will the ultimate gesture of forever happen to me?

Am I really that kind of person who is "unworthy?"

I can only imagine a list about me - bad and lacking.

My well is clogged up with that ongoing list which I'm hiding.

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Is it the wrong "Isaac" that I'm watering camels for?

If yes, then I don't want to be alive anymore.

My patience is stringing so long it'll reach the moon.

But the longer it gets, it weakens and might break soon.

I love you but where will this lead us and me?

Right from the start, I dreamed of you to be my family.

Is it your will, God? Help me, I almost fell.

I don't want to drown in my lachrymose well.

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Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Aug. 2, 2022

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