R.I.P. (Radical. Immortal. Poetry.)

Today's sorrow (eight stanzas for our eight years).

Are you waiting for me to get tired too?

Because all these years, you have nothing planned to do.

It seems I'm the only one dreaming of forever.

I feel unappreciated but look, we're still together.

-

You push me away as if we're not together for years.

The things you say bring me heartache and tears.

My mistakes are taken in while I overlook yours.

You don't do anything so I take charge and enforce.

-

When you say that you explode too, then what about me?

You looked at someone else the third time so I can't leave you be.

I feel more irrelevant and worthless than I have ever been

Even as you proclaim that it's "nothing" and just a "little" sin.

-

It feels I am not worth keeping at all.

My complacency and confidence is starting to fall.

When you said you love me, I thought I am the only one

And that you planned to make an effort to get our dreams done.

-

I pray to God about you night and day

So I thought you'd do and feel the same way.

I've had a lump in my throat even as we're happy through the years.

And when I released it, the reality of what's happening increased my fears.

-

I can't believe that I trusted and loved you the most

And that our relationship was something I used to boast.

Now I'm not sure of what will happen tomorrow

For I can't even get over today's sorrow.

-

I'm still uncertain of your love for me

Because of all that's happening currently.

Even though you somehow answered all my questions,

I'm still drowning in doubt and hesitations.

-

I too, want the "old us" back.

But my trust for you is no longer intact.

Maybe it's your turn to make the first move for I want to be on a break.

I hope by this time you'll make a steadfast effort for our relationship's sake.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

July 1, 2019