I don't wanna fall in love again...

I'm still yours

Akshay's POV

Pooja, my first and last love. She was my everything... my thoughts, my dreams, my life everything was around her. When I was with her, I felt like a complete man.

But nothing can be permanent...

That one night cost my whole life. That one cursed day made me leave my love. I didn't want to leave her but I did. I never thought I can ever cheat her but I did. I know I hurt her deeply, but I didn't want to lie to her nor could I ruin Sanaya's life.

Letting go of Pooja was the biggest mistake I have ever done in my life. I will regret it my whole life.
When I see Pooja with Madhav, my blood is boiling, my heart is aching, and I just want to push him away and took her in my arms. Now I feel how Pooja would have felt when I told her I was going to marry Sanaya.

Sanaya... I don't know what I feel towards her, it's nothing compared to what I still have for Pooja. I know this whole thing makes me a bastard and I accept that. I deserve that, because what I did is unforgivable.

But I didn't have any choice. I needed to correct my mistake and that led to another mistake. But trust me I will do anything to change the time and make everything right, only if I could do that... Only if I didn't go to that party...

When Pooja went to Gujarat for her higher studies, I was so sad but I didn't want to make her sacrifice her dreams for me. I was ready to wait forever for her.
I never asked her to do anything for me that makes her uncomfortable, I didn't even kiss her, not because I never wanted to. I know she is mine and we have this whole life in front of us, I didn't want to distract her from her dreams.

Sometime it was so difficult to control my emotions and hormones when I was with her, Pooja have that effect on me but I didn't ask for it, if I did she will do it without thinking twice, I knew that, but I never used her like that.

The separation we had to take at the time of her studies was so difficult for me but I acted cool and made her believe that I am ok with long-distance relationships. And I was...

I met Sanaya at my work, she was just a colleague for me, I never tried to flirt with her, we were good friends and she knew everything about my relationship.

It was new year's night, and we all went to a party to celebrate the night, it was my first new year's night without Pooja after meeting her. Back in college, I used to take her to a hilly place away from every crowd, just two of us watching the fireworks and enjoying our beer. I will hug her from the back when she leans to my chest. Those were our special moments and I missed that, I missed her so much and it became painful.

My friends offered me some liquor and I drink it to forget about my pain, I didn't count how many glasses I drink, I couldn't even remember where I was and what I was doing, there were drugs too, I was out of control. When I opened my eyes the next day it was afternoon and I was in a hotel room. My head was aching and I went to the washroom and stood under the shower to cool my head, when the cold water hit my body, I realized that I was naked. I didn't give it much thought as my head was pounding so badly. When I came to my room, there was someone else in the bed sleeping naked and it was Sanaya.

I didn't have any idea why we both were there and were naked, I got scared. I thought about leaving her there but I couldn't. At the same time, Pooja called me, I panicked and cut the call, she called me again and I switched off the phone.

Sanaya was as shocked as I when she woke up, we didn't have any idea what happened but there were so much evidence in the bed proving our fears. Yes, we had sex, but both of us couldn't remember anything. Sanaya was a crying mess, and I didn't know what to do. We spent that day in the room, consoling each other.