I don't wanna fall in love again...

Dirty little secret

Drishya's POV

Life can get harder sometimes but that shouldn't kill one's will to live it fully. Agony and comfort are part of life which we will go through at least once in a lifetime, both of them are needed in a man's life. Then only we will value what we have or had.

Nothing is free in this world, to get something we need to sacrifice something else. And those sacrifices can be one's dreams, love, passion, family, dignity... our sacrifices become worth when we achieve something out of it, it teaches us a lesson, it teaches us what we could have lost. When you look back in your life you will be proud of yourself, you will realise it was worth the pain you have gone through. Each tear drop of yours doesn't show your weakness, it shows your strength, your hard work, your will to live your life.

But it is not necessary for others to understand us, they will not get it. Our mysteries are our own. The one who is brave enough to sacrifice in their life wins the game.

Pooja was someone who was comfortable with comfort. She didn't want to explore the world outside it, she was a gooood girl, duhh. She searched for her comfort zone in everything, and I think that's why she accepted Akshay. He was a gentleman type, always polite to everyone, a lovable guy, and the best for Pooja or for her comfort zone. That silly girl didn't realise what she wanted was someone completely opposite to him. Her stubborn ass was not ready to let go of her fears.That's why I did my magic and pushed her out of her shell.

I had to, even though I am not her best friend.

Yeah I am not her best friend but she is my one and only friend. Even though I hide everything from her, she is my best friend.

Pooja and I met in college, we were classmates and bench mates. But I never showed her that I cared. But I secretly admired her, envied her... yup that's a weird combination, but that's what I felt. I was jealous of her for sure. She was the best in everything, she wears that smile every time when she looks at me, even though I push her away she comes back like I didn't hurt her. She throws away my shitty lunch and shares her. I was the weirdo in the class, the one they called the bitch, that was me, but Pooja didn't care about that.

I totally hated her for being different and for caring for me when I pushed her away. I gave up hating her when we entered our third sem, because I knew this Poona is never going to spare me from her purring. Then I started to study her, I watched her behaviour, her body language and her body. Omg she was drool worthy, and I had to harass many horny asses to stay away from her. Of course she was unaware of that and her influence on others.

I become her admirer and her protector somewhere in between. I didn't know when that happened, I made that bitch my top priority. I visited her family and I saw a different world there, something I never thought I would ever witness.

I know everything about that silly girl but she didn't know a thing about me. I kept it that way, and guilty about that too. I didn't want her to know about my pathetic life and I didn't want to darken her world with mine.

My life, it can be written as another book. It will never be a lovely story like Pooja's.

Being an orphan at 13 and staying with your shitty relatives who don't even want to be there for you in the first place.

I craved love on those days, I hoped for someone to care for me but I didn't get any of that until I reached the wrong hands. My hunger for love made me blind and I gave myself to the person who showed it to me. Like a stupid teenager I was ready to give anything to him, I was ready to sacrifice anything for his love.

I lost my virginity at 15 and I cared less, I did everything and anything to please him. Became a slut for him and his friends, because he cared about me, he loved me like no one. Became a drug addict at 16 still I didn't give a shit until it became too late. I don't remember much, what happened or why. I was in a hospital when I opened my eyes. My whole body was in pain, I couldn't move a muscle, I couldn't fucking feel my body parts.