I Think He Knows

𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗸𝘆 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗟 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀

A̸𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗿 D̸𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀
𝟮𝟰
☾

With every brush of his fingers through my hair my heartbeat thrummed beneath my ribs, each thump for the man holding me in his arms. It was quiet for a moment as he held me close, I buried my face in the scratchy fabric of his coat as the tears staining my cheeks dried and my breathing slowed.

Hugging Mason had the same effects as taking a Xanax. Who even needed drugs when you had him?

As we stood in the middle of the hallway, the dim orange glow of the light echoed around us and the dark shade of night was only visible from the glass entrance door at the end of the hall, my mind wandered back to our conversation and Mason's words dawned on me. I laughed, "you called my mom a bitch earlier."

He hummed in acknowledgment before saying, "she is one."

"She really is, isn't she?" I prompted rhetorically. My head tilted up so I could see his face and I smiled sadly, "you see why I hate my birthday now?"

His expression twisted into somewhat of a crestfallen frown, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I shook my head looking away from his big sad eyes, my gaze landing on his shoulder as I rubbed circles onto it with my thumb. "Will you stay?"

I told him no more sleepovers earlier that day but that rule could be revoked, most friends had sleepovers, and since that was what we were now we should have them too.

"Of course Ash," He said softly. He brushed his knuckle under my eyes so gently that if I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have noticed he'd done it at all. "I'd stay forever if that was what you asked me to do."

Every word out of his mouth had been so romantic that I found it hard not to swoon, I wanted to jump his bones right that second but I reframed knowing that I couldn't keep causing us to stay in an endless cycle of my making the first move then hurting Mason when I inevitably changed my mind. I knew how much disappointment hurt and I didn't want to keep doing that to him.

"Okay," I smiled nodding slowly as I interlaced my fingers through his like the friendly friend that I was. Then I threw his coat that he had let me use over my shoulder as I quietly pushed open my apartment door with my free hand in hopes of not waking my little brother but as soon as we entered his head slowly propped up in a sleepy haze.

"Ash?" He wondered quietly pushing himself up and rubbing his eyes with a fisted hand.

"Yes it's me El," I assured shutting and locking the door.

"Who's the other person?" He rasped out still sleepy and confused. The apartment was dark in the nightly shadows and you couldn't make out faces, only the outlines of everything clear to the eye.

"You remember Mason right?" I asked stepping further into the room still holding the man's hand. I saw Mason wave at Elliott out of the corner of my eyes and I smiled. This was their first time meeting in person.

"Oh hi Mason," Elliott waved back. He had on black basketball shorts and a baggy t-shirt with his high school's logo on it. "Asher needs a hug," he informed him.

"Don't worry I'll give him as many hugs as he wishes for, okay?" Mason said grinning as his eyes met mine.

I let go of his hand and held open my arms needy like, "hug me fool."