𝕱1 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘 𝕭𝖝𝕭

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖘/𝕸𝖆𝖝: 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓.

(A/N) warning you will cry in this one shot. 

He had hoped he wouldn't be here, standing in the rain, holding a black umbrella above his head. The rain pouring down on it, clattering on the fabric of the umbrella. He had hoped, no, prayed to whatever god above for him not to be here again. he knew from the last time he wouldn't survive another.

"'I'm here, it's gonna be fine, Schatje." Max spoke softly. Running his hands over Charles his arms.

He hadn't been prepared to be standing here again, heavy heart in his chest. all the while wishing that this had been one bad dream. The rain soaking the grass underneath his feet, turning his slick black dress shoes muddy and greasy from standing in it for a while.

"it felt so real. For a moment I saw him." Charles tells Max, sniffling in their bed after a nightmare.

Charles had wished, if not prayed upon every star he had come across to not be in this situation anymore. He knew that it would become more painful every time he would be standing here. But all his wishing and praying had fallen on deaf ears. All his worries had become real, if not his worst fears.

Charles slept the rest of the night better with Max holding him close. He and Max had been together for a couple of months now. living together and doing everything together.

Charles wipes his eyes, looking at his feet. His mind and eyes no longer being able to witness the heartbreak in front of him. the way his heart is hurting and the water is running faster then the rain can fall on the grass. The pain of these things never getting easier.

The morning had quickly come and something in his gut was telling him that wasn't gonna be alright. But he couldn't place it just yet.

The cold air blowing passed his face, making the tears sting to his skin. His black suit leaving him shivering in the cold weather of the Netherlands. He had always loved coming to the Netherlands with Max. but never had he thought he would be here for he reason that he is.

"what's wrong, Schatje?" Max asks his fiancé, wrapping his arms around the stressed Monegasque.

How he had only known what was in store for him that day. If he only knew what was to come, he would have been able to prepare himself for that pain. If only knew, he wouldn't have raced his fiancé as hard as he had done. But he didn't, he couldn't know. And yet it's all his fault.

"I have a bad feeling, like something bad is gonna happen." Charles voices out his worries to his fiancé.

Yet here he stands, wishing still upon anything to have this be a twisted nightmare. He lowers the umbrella, getting too heavy for his tiring arm. Having held up the umbrella for a couple of hours now. the rain falling down onto his burning skin, soaking every inch of his. Still he hadn't moved since he had gotten here. Waiting for something to pull him out of this nightmare. But no one comes.

"it will be alright, you're just nervous and anxious. It is Suzuka. It is a traumatic race for you. I don't blame you for being on edge, that's okay. I'm here with you." Max had told Charles, trying to reassure the poor Ferrari driver.

If only Charles had listened to his gut feeling, why didn't he listen to his gut that was obviously telling him to be careful, to not race too aggressively on the opening lap. But he promised Max he wouldn't let his anxiety of the track and his fear of losing people get to him. not to affect his racing yet again.

Charles had let Max go after those words. He had gone to the Ferrari garage, seeing Carlos there, smiling at him. for a moment he forgot his anxiety about the race and his gut feeling. He had gotten dressed and drove the car to the starting grid.