Destined To Be.

Chapter 32

James,

Thomas has finally settled in.  The past couple of weeks consisted of giving my old room which is now Tommy's room a makeover that was to my six year old son's s standards and taste, which is a marvel theme, marvel wallpaper, marvel bedding and curtains, marvel floor mat ,marvel wastepaper bin ,etc,etc, you get the drift.

So with this overload of marvellousness he is extremely happy,which makes me happy.  So, I'm a happy father, happy co-parent, happy neighbour, happy local ..but...

An extremely unhappy man in love!!

These last few days have been literally hell on earth!
Absolute torture and yes you've guessed correct , the sole person responsible for this utter misery is non other than the love of my life , a waif of a woman with enormous blue eyes and  a total stranger.

Who is this woman?  This is not my Ayla.  Yes , shoot me for being a possessive creep but I've always had her in my heart from day one and yes I've been a dick in the past and no amount of excuses and justification can rectify that , however she's the only one who owns me , mind, body and soul and is complete clueless!!

Yes! Yes! I know it's my own bloody fault, but I'm here to correct that. Through my own stupidity, I lost her once , I'll be damned if I loose her again!!

But, boy does she make it hard!  She is not letting me in whatsoever.  Her invisible wall is indestructible, she has no chip it.  How am I going to confess my true feelings when she keeps me at arms length!

"Dad, can I go over to Nanna Khan's please?" I shake my head of these miserable thoughts and give my attention to Tommy.

Er, no!!!

"I thought your mother was going to take you out today, son?" I hope she does.

"No, that's tomorrow dad. So can I, pleaseeeee!" His cute little face is so hard to resist.

Why?? Why are you doing this to me son?

"Maybe some other time Tom.. how ab.."

"Daadddd, pleaseeeee!" It's confirmed, he's definitely his mother's son  alright!  He's not going to let this go until I give in.

"Okay" I sigh dramatically. "Only for a bit!" I know he's going to end up staying the whole afternoon or maybe even sleepover.

When Ayla and little Salwa come over the weekend, this has become a habit with him.  I don't like it!! I don't like it as Ayla will be all love and affection with Tommy and zero acknowledgment for me. 

Oh she's polite and all.  

Very polite! 

Very annoyingly polite!

Sometimes I wonder if we ever really knew each other!! Have we really shared the past?   But on the odd  occasion when our eyes clash and the umphh that I get in my gut. 

I know!!

I know that she's still in there.  My Ayla, is there beneath the surface of this stranger , I know she exists! I know she fights it.  I can see the way she tenses up when I come and take little Salwa off her . The way she tries her damn hardest not to touch me by accident, but the cocky bastard I am, I intentionally hold on to her fingers a while longer until her eyes flash with annoyance and her face blushes against her will.

I know!! Creep ass Behaviour! So sue me, I'll take anything I can get!

*****

Yep!!

She's doing it again!  Avoiding me like I have the plague or something.  This woman will be the death of me, but if I can just get her to smile at me or talk to me on her own accord I'll  die a happy man.