Destined To Be.

Chapter 38

My love,

Writing this letter is one of the hardest things in my life, worser than the cancer (joking) . I wish I didn't have to write it as it only confirms that I won't be able to spend the rest of my life with you and our child, (by the way, I know it's going to be a girl ) .

I hope when you read this, you'll take my words at face value and continue to live your life the way you want to and be the with the man you've always wanted to be with,( no I'm not going to feel sorry for myself because let's face it , I'll always be your first, wink wink).

listen to your heart my love, the heart is never wrong, mine certainly wasn't. The moment I first saw you, behind that counter, amongst all those yummy bakes, I knew I was a gonna!!

I thank Allah for James rejecting you,( yes I'm a selfish bastard ) as that was the only way you could be mine. How else were you going to give me a chance , let alone marry me. Yes I was a rebound but I don't give  a damn love, as I would have wanted you in any way I could get! ( are you creeped out...lol).

The day we married was one of the happiest days of my life, nothing could spoil it, not even James. Yes, I knew the moment you set your eyes on him on at our wedding , that he was the one who let you get away,(stupid idiot). Well his loss was my gain and boy did I win the lottery with you.

You made me feel things that I've never felt with no woman, ever!! You were my first in everything!! I loved each and every moment with you,(especially the ones in our bed and other places , bet your blushing all kind of pretty right now).

I wish many things , but I'm not going to go down that painful road. I'm content love, aslong as I have you by my side , I know I'll die a happy man, (pun intended) especially when I get to see our child.

Our child will always be a special connection between us. She will always remind you of my love. She is the  token of our love. I know that I'm so damn lucky with you loving me back. (How can you not, I'm pretty irresistible ,especially when you would ogle me with my shirt off, naughty woman).

I know you'll tell her all about me, however I don't want you to stop her from loving another man who will be her father figure. That man is James my darling, yes , James Dean Hudson !

You're an exceptionally beautiful and loyal woman. You may want to bury your pretty little head in the sand but I don't want you to be underground to much.

You will carry on with your life! You will not only do-this for me but you will do it for yourself and for our daughter. I know you're crying by now, I wish I was there to kiss your tears away, ( actually you know me , I won't stop at kissing,lol) but I know after reading this , that it'll help you make the right decision.

Don't let no one push you into doing something you're not ready for ( even though I'm utterly grateful for your hastiness in accepting my marriage proposal, lol) not even my parents!. You deserve to be loved by a man who makes you feel like you're the only woman in the world, I know I did and I hope you knew that.

I love you with all my heart ,love. I have no regrets. I will not dwell and mope on the what ifs, it's a waste of time. I'm happy darling, I happy with my love for you, my time spent with you, ( even though it's not enough) I won't change anything. Not a single thing. The past couple off years have been exceptional!!

I'll stop now love, I wish I can go on forever but you know I'll just end up a blubbering fool. I can't have you remembering me as a soppy git now! You'll remember me as your sexy , gorgeous husband, your best friend , your short term companion and the father of your child , our child.

I love you Ayla Ghulab Khan Khattak.
I love you with all my heart, with all my being.
Live and be happy. Be happy and move on with no guilt. You my love have nothing to be ashamed about and make sure no one tell you different.

Don't waste time living in the past , or holding on. I may no longer be with you but I'll always live on in your heart , in your memories and our beloved child.

I Love you.
I'll always will.
My beautiful Ayla.

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