Thanksgiving '85 (13)

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⚠️Depression, grief, drug use, alcohol use, exhaustion, PTSD, mention of suicide, and mental break downs⚠️

I basted the turkey, and put it back in the oven. I then checked on the potatoes.
"Honey! I'm home!" Eddie yelled as he came into the house. "Wow! It smells amazing baby!" He said while setting down the grocery bags. He came up behind me, and wrapped his arms around me. I looked up at him, and gave him a kiss.
"Wayne coming still?" I asked.
"Of course baby. He will be here around five. Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked while rubbing my back.
"Can you check on Gare for me? He hasn't come out of his room all day." I said concerned. He gave me a worried look, kissed my head, and went to Gareth. I sighed as I made sure all the food was okay so I could step away for a bit.
I went upstairs to my bathroom, and grabbed some of the hydros I got from the accident. I don't physically hurt anymore, they just make me feel.. good. I forgot to bring some water. I looked around, shrugged my shoulders, and took the two pills dry.

 I looked around, shrugged my shoulders, and took the two pills dry

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I then walked to my nightstand, grabbed a joint, and lit it. I walk back into the kitchen to check on everything again. Then I went, and knocked on Gareth's door.
"I have a joint." I said, dragging out the last word. The door opened, and Gareth wrapped his arms around me. I did the same, and held him tight. He then took the joint from me, and took a huge rip.
"Can we drink today?" He asked, handing the joint to Eddie.
"Of course baby bro." I said with a smile. Taking his hand, and leading him to the kitchen.
"Pick your poison." I said motioning to the mini bar.
"Crown was mom's favorite, and yours too right?" Gareth asked.
"Yes sir! Only way to go!" I said taking out three glasses. "Want ice in yours?"
"No. You guys drink it without it, so sign me up!" Gareth said. I know I shouldn't mix alcohol with hydros, but honestly I just don't care anymore. The only reason I do not give in, and end it all is because so many people need me, and would be destroyed if I gave in. So, I keep my head up, fake a smile, and try my hardest.
We clinked our glasses together, and chugged.
"Alright boys, the feast should be done in an hour, and a half." I said smiling at them.
"Eds! Wanna go rock out to pass the time?"
"Fuck yeah I do!" Eddie replied. Giving Gareth a high five. He shot me a wink, and they headed to the garage.
I set the table for six. I never fully understood why my mom would always set a place for dad after he passed, but now I do. I stumbled over as I was trying to step back, and look at everything. The drugs, and alcohol are hitting. I stumbled to the kitchen, and made a glass of water. I then basted the turkey one last time. Then I took the food that was ready out to the table. The timer buzzed, and I grabbed the turkey out of the oven, and checked the temperatures.
"Perfect!" I said to myself. I took it to the table, then ran to the garage.
I could hear them playing Rock and Roll All Nite by Kiss, but it wasn't Eddie singing. I cracked open the door, and it was Wayne. They leaned against eachothers backs as Wayne sang, and Eddie slayed the guitar. They looked like rock stars. I look over to Gareth as he plays his heart out on the drums. I smiled at them as a tear escapes my eye. This was my mom's favorite song. I quickly wipe it away, and started clapping, and shouting as they ended the song.
"Wow! You were right my boy! That is nothing like boring old karaoke!" Wayne said as he brought Eddie in for a hug. We all laughed.
"It's ready guys!" I said with excitement. They all ran towards me. I squealed, and began running myself. We got to the dining room, and the guys stopped, and looked at the table in awe.

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