What's a life worth?

The Finale

           Two days after Isaac decided to take the first step of moving on, he and Elaine were on a bus together. They didn't speak much on the ride, but the mood was not somber. Instead, Elaine was happily looking out of the bus window while Isaac sat in thought. Just a couple of months ago, he was sleeping alone on his bed. He did nothing with his free time because he felt like it was useless to think and do anything. He would think about how futile life was. He would question why he was still alive. He didn't feel suicidal. He wanted to live. He wanted to live with the person he had lost. But he didn't know how to move, and he didn't care to know.

           But that all changed one day when he met Aisha. That A.I. that he hated so much at first, but now he had to thank for him being able to move on. Well, that's not true. He hasn't moved on. If he was given a choice of which life he would rather have, the one he has now or a future with Jessica, he would still choose that future. But that future doesn't exist, and he's content with this second option. He didn't think it was possible to care about anyone besides Jessica, but now here he was. He cared about Aisha, Elaine, Kalee, and Ain. They were like his family.

           Did this mean he had matured? He didn't know. He understood his situation, not his emotions. He knew what he had to do wasn't what he wanted to do because what he wanted to do wasn't possible anymore. Would saying that this life was his second choice be a bad thing? There were a lot of questions he didn't know the answers to. He was scared to ask them too. So, he resorted to being quiet and reserved.

           He then remembered what Elaine had said to him, "I want you to feel better by looking at me." He shifted his gaze to Elaine, who was staring out the bus window happily. She noticed him staring at her and turned to ask him, "Is everything okay?" Isaac awkwardly smiled, "Just following your wishes." Elaine keenly remembered telling Isaac to look at her whenever he felt down, so she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and brought his head to rest on her shoulder.

           Isaac felt better now. He didn't have any answers to the questions he had. But maybe he didn't need answers. Maybe Elaine knew that too, and that's why she didn't ask any questions besides if he was okay. Maybe, just maybe, he could live his life without an answer for every question that he had.

           The two arrived at the cemetery about an hour later. Elaine took hold of Isaac's hand while they walked around to find Jessica's grave. They knew where the grave site was, thanks to Aisha's information. However, they spent the time walking around causally. Elaine sparked a conversation as they walked, "It's crazy how many graves there are." Isaac looked around. There was a global war nearly one hundred years ago that decimated humanity. Nearly half the population died, and whoever was left cumulated into megacities, like the one they lived in today. After looking around, Isaac replied, "It almost doesn't seem real. How many do you think are here?" Elaine thought for a second, then replied, "I don't know. Maybe 1,000?"

           Isaac stopped to read a gravestone that caught his eye. Elaine stood next to him and read the gravestone out loud, "Joseph Phillip Rosenburg. July 3, 2153, to February 27, 2175. 'A happy life cut short by war.'" After reading the gravestone, Elaine spoke, "Life's so fragile. People come and go in a blink of an eye." Isaac tightened his grip on Elaine's hand, but she continued, "But whether they die, or they just disappear, their life tells a story. And their story affects us." Isaac took a deep breath and scoffed, "What was that about? Were you trying to tell me the meaning of life?" Elaine chuckled playfully, "If I knew that, then I would fix everyone's problems."

           The conversation ended there, and Isaac slowly continued to walk toward Jessica's grave. Finally, Elaine stopped walking at a gravestone and spoke softly, "Here she is." Isaac stopped walking and read the gravestone. It was, in fact, Jessica. He felt a swirl of emotions fill inside him, but he didn't start crying. Elaine watched Isaac closely. She was prepared to comfort him at any moment, but he didn't seem to need it now. Isaac's voice quivered as he spoke, "Hey, Jess. I got your letter." After a pause, he continued, "Thank you for telling me those things. I wish you would've spoken up to me earlier, though." He chuckled at the end of his statement.

           The two stood there for a while in silence. Eventually, Elaine spoke, "Hi, Jessica. My name is Elaine. You don't know about me, but I know a lot about you. I'm currently Isaac's girlfriend, but I heard you two were really close. So, thank you for taking care of him. I know you tried your best, so thank you for helping him." When Elaine started to speak, Isaac shifted his gaze to her. After she finished, Isaac spoke, "Thank you. For saying those things." Elaine smiled, "I felt like I needed to. She took care of you for as long as she could. If anything, I got to you late. So, maybe I should apologize for that." The two chuckled at her statement.

           After they laughed, Isaac sighed and began to give his farewell, "Thank you, Jess. Thank you for being there for me when no one else was. You can say that you're sorry as much as you want, but that won't take the pain away. But I want to feel that pain. I want to remember you and remember the emotions I felt with you. It's been two years since that day, and I felt like I lost everything, including myself. But now, now I can say that I feel somewhat normal again. I'm still not perfect, and I still feel sad and depressed, but now I can say that I feel those things. When you left, I felt like I couldn't feel anything, but now I can. And now I choose to remember you, even if it hurts."

           Elaine smiled at hearing Isaac's words. She knew that Isaac would need more time to heal, but now here he was, taking the first step to getting better. As she was about to congratulate Isaac for finally getting those words off his chest, he continued, "For two years, I thought about why I was alive, and why you weren't alive. All of that. I thought living was worthless and didn't know why I was still alive. I still can't answer those questions, but I've decided that I don't need to. I don't need answers to every question that I have because all I want to do is live. Live with people around me and feel those emotions I missed out on the past two years. So, thank you for everything, and goodbye. I might be back in the future, but these emotions that have been building ever since I met you are staying here. I'm moving on, and I know you'd support me the entire way. And I thank you for that."

           Elaine hugged Isaac from the side after he finished speaking. Isaac let out a deep breath and spoke to her, "I think I got everything out." Elaine talked close to Isaac's ear in response, "And? How do you feel?" Isaac scoffed at her question, "Kind of empty. But also nervous." Elaine giggled at Isaac's cute reply, "That's okay. Emotions are like water. They fill up any empty space." Elaine let go of Isaac, and Isaac replied sarcastically, "I hope those emotions are positive ones." Elaine couldn't help but have a big smile on her face, "They won't be unless you try to make them positive." Isaac stared directly at Elaine, "Then help me try." Elaine took a hold of Isaac's hand and started walking towards the cemetery exit, "I'll do my best"

           Isaac and Elaine returned to the apartment where Kalee was busy doing chores, and Ain was helping her. Isaac sat down on the couch, and Elaine went to go make tea. After Kalee was finished, she sat on a chair in the living room and started playing on her phone. While Elaine was busy making tea, Kalee asked Isaac, "How did it go?" Isaac was a little surprised at her question but answered her kindly, "It went about as well as it could." Kalee continued to play on her phone as she responded, "Well, that's all you can hope for sometimes." Neither one of them talked for a while, but eventually, Kalee stood up to go move her laundry and spoke to Isaac, "If you want to talk to someone, I'm always available." Isaac smiled softly and replied as Kalee was leaving, "Thanks. Same goes for you." Once again, it was Elaine and Isaac alone. Elaine brought two cups of tea and sat down next to Isaac. She spoke while sipping on her tea, "I heard there's a really cool documentary that came out a couple of weeks ago. Wanna watch it?" Isaac smiled and nodded, "Sure."

           And like that, a story of a broken man who lost what he thought was everything comes to a close. He's not a fixed man. He's not a happy man. But he is human. And humans feel all of those broken and painful emotions just as much as they feel those happy emotions. He was sad and alone, but now he is empty and healing. He has two human friends who trust him. He has two A.I. friends who trust him. He is trusted and cared about, even while being empty. However, that man isn't mad. He cares now. He cares enough to not be mad. To not be sad. To try to improve so those around him could feel better. He lost a friend two years ago and again when he visited their grave. He physically lost that friend two years ago and just now lost that friend in his head. He controls his own mind now. He chooses to be healed and to be fixed. He chooses to feel those emotions he tried to ignore for so long because he wants to live. Whether he has that desire because of his lost friend, the friends he has now, or to spite himself from the past, none of those reasons matter. The only thing that mattered to him was healing and feeling better. To rebuild the pieces of a broken mind, body, and soul. And maybe, just maybe, that's what a life is worth.