Now, with a jar of cucumbers, Randy is going to have to find out how to turn them into pickles. Beloved, savory pickles. But he doesn't know HOW. He sees the lawyer guy again. Randy runs up to the lawyer.
"LAWYER GUY." He yells. "HOW DO YOU MAKE CUCUMBERS INTO PICKLES???"
"Oh- hi again. Um... I don't know actually. Wait did you get that from Chrises Pi-" Randy cuts him off.
"WELL DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY WHO MIGHT???"
"My dad probably does. Come with me random child." the lawyer leads Randy to this apartment complex.
In the inside, it looks like an apartment complex. That's a good sign. The lawyer takes Randy to an elevator and selects the third floor.
"HEY LAWYER GUY. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" Randy yells. He's yelling unintentionally.
"Parsley?"
"YOUR PARENTS NAMED YOU AFTER AN HERB? WOW THAT'S SA-"
"I know! Stop yelling. We're here." Parsley sighs as the elevator doors open.
"You look like you're 40. You're 40 and still living with your dad? Wow. That's kinda sad." Randy comments.
"I don't need you to remind me how sad my life is- do you want to be able make pickles or not?" Parsley sounds a little irrated.
"Yah, I guess I do want to know." Randy really needs to know, but doesn't want to seem like a pathetic child.
Parsley opens the door to a pretty nice apartment room. No wonder why Parsley stays here.
"JESUS CHRIST PARSLEY WHY DID YOU BRING A RAT INTO HERE?" Parsley's dad immediately screams. "OH WAIT THAT'S SOME CHILD, HEH, HE SMELLS LIKE A DYING RAT."
"OI-" Randy is very obviously offended.
"Dad- that's kinda rude," Parsley sighs, "He just needs to know how to make a pickle."
"A PICKLE??? GROSS!" Parsley's dad exclaims.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN G R O S S ? YOU'RE GROSS!" Randy retorts.
"DAD. RANDOM CHILD WHO DROPKICKED ME AND STOLE MY PHONE. STOP INSULTING EACH OTHER." Parsley groans.
Parsley's dad rolls his eyes and grabs Randy's cucumber jar. He mutters something about pickles and opens the jar. "CHEESY RICE THIS SMELLS LIKE IT WAS THROWN IN A DUMPSTER WITH A FETUS! WHERE'D YOU GET THIS??????"
"Chrises Cucumbers," Randy replies, "I would've gone to the supermarket but I'm banned there so.."
Parsley seems curious on how Randy was banned from the supermarket but doesn't ask anything.
"Parsley, do we have any vinegar?" Parsley's dad asks.
"No, I don't think so." Parsley answers.
"Goddamit son, go get some and bring this thing with you. I'm scared it will ruin the apartment." Parsley's dad replies.
"But I'm bann-" Randy begins talking, "THING????"
Parsley sighs and says, "Just come with me."
YOU ARE READING
Life Would be a Dream ~ A Story About Pickles
RandomOne day Randy decides he wants a pickle. Things happen and it's quite ridiculous.
