Life Would be a Dream ~ A Story About Pickles

Chapter 16: This chapter contains gory depictions of cooking food.

        Randy and Trevor are looking around for some delicious roadkill, when Trevor GASPS. 

       "WOAH!" he gasps, "HEY RANDY, CHECK THIS OUT!"

      Randy runs over to see what Trevor was looking at. It was a mauled cat. It's stomach was ripped open and guts were spilling out.

      "Would you look at that blood, it died pretty recently. How perfect!" Trevor picks up the teared cat and Randy cringed.

       "Oh- so you're going to eat... that?" Randy asks, unsettled.

        "Well, not raw of course! I would die! I still need to cook it, come with me! I'll show you how I cook the food!" 

        Trevor leads Randy to an alleyway. Wow, Randy doesn't feel so alone in living in alleyways now. Trevor starts a fire with a bunch of new papers and Randy feels pity for him. Trevor seems satisfied, though.

        "Ok, I also sorta want to see how YOU cook your roadkill, lemme find a knife..." Trevor starts searching the floor for a blade when he finds a sharp stone, "Good enough!"

       He aggressively tears the dead cat into halves and throws the bottom half to Randy. God, there's even more blood and guts everywhere. Randy is trying really hard not to gag when he picks up his half by the tail.

        "So.. I need to cook this?" Randy asks.

       "Mhm, then you eat it of course!" Trevor smiles and begins to finds a sharp stick to impale the corpse with. It keeps getting worse and worse,  Randy regrets going with this kid. 

        Trevor starts cooking the cat like s'mores and Randy hesitantly observes. Randy obviously has never cooked roadkill before, and he never expected to ever need to, but now he has to... for some dumb reason. Trevor keeps turning the corpse, and somehow it never catches fire, despite how low he is hanging it. Eventually, Trevor decides it's cooked enough.

       "HA! Now I gotta skin it!" He grabs the stone he used to slice the cat in half and carefully removes the cat from the stick. He begins to cautiously skin the cat, and somehow he doesn't mess up. This makes Randy even more concerned, "Now you show me how you cook it!"

        Randy picks up the cat with his hands and immediately Trevor makes this judgy face. Randy throws it into the fire.

      "WH- WHAT ARE YOU DOING????" Trevor seems absolutely shocked.

      "I like mine well-done." Randy lies.

      "Umm... ok???" Trevor pauses, "But how will you get it out? Wouldn't you burn your hands?"

      "I've... uhhh.... I've grown used to it..." Randy avoids making eye contact.

      After a bit of silence Randy decided he should try to take it out. He rolls his sleeves up and reaches for the very well-done cat. He drags it out and Trevor seems amazed.

       "Woah! It's like you don't feel pain!" He gasps, "That's actually pretty cool!"

      The thing is, Randy is in a lot of pain. He's just too numb to react, he's busy thinking about all the actions he's made in his life to lead up to him eating roadkill. 

       Trevor starts to hand Randy a rock but Randy shakes his head, "I eat mine, uniquely."

      Trevor seems intrigued, "Ok... but I'm not eating that... uh no offense but I have standards.."

      Nobody asked, Trevor. 

      Trevor eats his roadkill like he's done it a billion times before while Randy just sits there looking at his burnt cat. "I'll... save this for later.."

      "Oh! That's fine. Now, what was it you wanted me to do for you?" Trevor asks.

      Randy had completely forgotten about the entire lawsuit thing, "OH YEAH. Can you be my lawyer?"

     "What? I mean yeah I guess but like-" Trevor looks around, "Ok I guess. What's your case?"