The Devil Who Wears My Eyes

07 : The Lust Demon

"Incubus po?"

I slowly nodded. His voice is enough to make me think he is confused on the condition I gave him in exchange of me gifting him a laptop. Well, it will not be a gift anymore if I am to make a condition before I give him something. It is more of a deal. He must think I am really crazy because what I am making him do is maybe too easy for him. But it will not be a little one for me. It will make my mind clearer about what happened that night.

"Demon of lust?"

"Yes, search it and tell me everything you can see. Don't leave anything behind."

"Okay po, ate."

He suddenly got quiet while I wait for him. He is now browsing the internet. Of course, I cannot see them. Unless I ask some people here or my dad to do this for me, I will not ask Ranz. But this is going to be too weird for my dad if I let him search a creature like this. He will start to worry about me and my mental health. That would be chaotic lalo na at nandoon palaging nakabuntot sa akin si Mommy Kayla. Baka gamitin niya lang ito laban sa akin. Mabuti na lamang at narito si Ranz. He will be good enough. He is always one of the top students, he will surely be a good teacher for a blind woman.

"Sure ka po ba ate na demon of lust? Para saan po?"

"For my curiosity,"

"Okay po." Saka nanahimik na ulit siya. Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay muli nang nagsalita. "Sabi po rito ate, an incubus is a demon in male form in folklore that seeks to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women. The corresponding spirit in female form is called a succubus, or 'yong mga babae na demon of lust daw po. In medieval Europe period po, the union with an incubus was supposed by some to result in the birth of witches, demons, and deformed human offspring. In "Demon Lovers", some traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with an incubus or succubus may result in the deterioration of health, an impaired mental state, or even death."

Demon Lovers. Impaired mental health. Sex with sleeping women.

 

Does that mean...I am going crazy?

"One of the earliest evident mentions of a demon sharing qualities to an incubus daw po according dito is it comes from Mesopotamia on the Sumerian King List, c. 2400 BC, where the hero Gilgamesh's father is listed as Lilu. Oh, wow. Si Gilgamesh? I have read about this hero before. Haha sorry po," Pagpapatuloy niya na pati sa binabasa ay naging interesado rin. "Lilu is described daw po as "disturbing" and "seducing" women in their sleep, tapos 'yong Lilitu, a female demon e described as appearing to men in erotic dreams daw po. Two other corresponding demons appear as Ardat lili, who visits men by night and begets ghostly children from them, and Idlu lili, a male counterpart to Ardat lili who visits women by night and begets from them. Ardat lili is derived from ardatu, the word for "a woman of marriageable age", while idlu lili is derived from idlu, meaning a "grown man". Oh, wow. This is interesting. Sabi pa po rito e these demons were originally storm demons but eventually became regarded as night demons potentially due to mistaken etymology."

Ranz' excitement on his voice as he read all the things from the internet about what I told him is clear. It is not only me who is now invested in this.

Seducing women in their dreams.

 

Woman of marriageable age.

 

Grown man.

Night demons.

This is making it clearer for me. A lust demon is someone who visits women on a marriagable age and have sex with them.

"Feed me,"

Napapapisip pa rin ako dahil doon. When Leopold told me that, the pleasure is unworldly. If he is a demon of lust...then my lust is what I feed him? How?

"The half-human offspring of such a union is sometimes referred to as a cambion." Pagpapatuloy ulit ni Ranz. "An incubus may pursue sexual relations with a woman in order to father a child, as in the legend of Merlin."

They can father a human's child.

Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Hindi ko mapigilan dahil sa sobrang kaba. That's maybe just a myth and a lie on the internet but why does it make me so nervous right now? Naninindig na rin ang mga balahibo ko.

"One scientific explanation for the incubus concept could fall under the scope of sleep paralysis as well as hypnagogia, as it is common to experience auditory and visual hallucinations in both states. Typical examples include a feeling of being crushed or suffocated, electric "tingles" or "vibrations", imagined speech and other noises, the imagined presence of a visible or invisible entity, and sometimes intense emotions of fear or euphoria and orgasmic feelings. Sabi pa po, these often appear quite real and vivid; especially auditory hallucinations of music which can be quite loud, indistinguishable from music being played in the same room."

 

Sleep paralysis?

"The combination of sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucination could cause someone to believe that a "demon was holding them down. Nocturnal arousal could be explained by creatures causing otherwise guilt-producing behaviour. Add to this the common phenomena of nocturnal arousal and nocturnal emission, and all the elements required to believe in an incubus are present. Some crimes of sexual assault were likely passed off as the actions of incubi."

"That makes sense," mahinahon kong sagot. "The feeling that you cannot say no. The sensations and the puzzle pieces."

"Po?"

"You did good, Ranz. Thank you. Tara na sa loob. Pakihatid ako sa kwarto ko para hindi ako mapagalitan ni Nanay Meera."

Agad siyang tumalima sa akin nang tumayo na ako. He is holding my arms gently as I start to walk. Tumikhim pa nga na para bang may nais na sabihin.

"But pwede ko po bang itanong kung bakit?" Mayamaya nga lang ay tanong niya sa akin.

"Yes." I smiled. "But unfortunately, it is something the one who has eyes cannot see."