The Devil Who Wears My Eyes

18 : The Howling Hours

Even Nanay Meera is speechless until she guided me to my room. Ni hindi na niya ako tinanong kung ano ang nangyayari dahil mukhang sa mga hitsura pa lang ng mga kamag-anak ko sa hapagkainan ay sapat na para malaman niyang hindi maganda ang nangyari. Alam ko namang nakakaintindi siya ng Ingles, she just cannot speak it straight. She is not dumb.

"Tawagin mo na lang ako anak kapag may kailangan ka, ha?" She sweetly asked as she kiss my forehead.

I smiled. Her kisses and sweet voice make me feel so loved as always. She is like my mother. She is my second mother. This might be the best part of being blind. I met such a pure soul like her.

"Matutulog po ako, 'nay. Huwag po muna kayo magdala ng pagkain dahil hindi naman po ako nagugutom. Promise po tatawagin kita kapag kailangan ko na."

"Okay, sige anak."

That is all before I heard the door closing and that little click that means it is now locked. Nakahinga naman ako nang maayos kahit papaano ngunit hindi noon natanggal ang inis sa loob ko. Tito Jeremy. That fucking dirty old man. He is really so thick skinned trying to touch me in front of my family and pretend he did not do anything with me.

I heaved a deep sigh. I laid in bed and tried to calm myself down. Napakaaga pa ay napakataas na agad ng presyon ko. Ipinikit ko na rin ang mga mata ko para subukang kalmahin din ang isip ko dahil baka kung ano-ano na naman ang masabi ko ngunit hindi pa yata ako dinadalaw ng kahit katiting na antok ay agad akong nakarinig ng pag-click ng pintuan. Napabalikwas ako dahil ang ibig lamang sabihin noon ay may nagbubukas ng pintuan ko. From that moment on, my whole body shivered. Kakaalis lamang ni Nanay Meera.

Who is this one?

It was so silent for a minute until I heard my door opening. Sa tunog pa lamang ng mabigat na pagyapak ay alam na alam kong si Tito Jeremy ang nagmamay-ari ng mga paang iyon. Hindi rin kalaunan ay nararamdaman ko na ang daliri niyang naglalaro sa aking braso.

"Becoming so brave, Ariella, huh? You're becoming a bad girl."

"Get out of my room." I hissed.

"Did you enjoy our play last night?" He giggled. He even pressed his finger on my shoulder. "You were a good girl last night, Ariella."

"Get the fuck out of my room."

"Or else what?" I heard his nasty chuckle again before I feel his breathing too close to my ears. "You'll tell them about our games? Ariella, don't you remember what happened to your Mama when you tried telling her?"

Agad na nagpanting ang tainga ko. Kaagad kong pinalis ang kamay niya at saka lumayo.

"It's you." Asik ko. Sa biglaang bugso ng emosyon ko ay hindi ko mapigilan ang mapaluha at manggigil. "It's you. Ikaw...you are a part on why my mother died."

"Me? False accusations are annoying."

Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan ang mga bagay at mga sitwasyong kaakibat ng mga malalagim na araw na nakipaglaro ako sa kaniya noon. Marami pa akong mga ibinaong alaala na napakasakit na isipin sa ngayon ngunit kung hindi ko lalakasan ang loob kong pakawalan sa ngayon, patuloy iyong hindi mananahimik at hindi mabibigyang hustiya.

I am sure Tito Jeremy has something to do with how my Mama died. I do not know how he did it and what exactly it is, but I am sure he is the one who did it. It is not going to be a mistake. My traumatic memories won't lie.

"It's you. You killed her."

"Ariella," He chuckled once again. I wasn't expecting his hands choking me from the back seconds after that. "And if really did? What will you do, huh? Isumbong ako sa Daddy mong walang kuwenta? Ha?"

"I will kill you."

He kept on choking me. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang galit niya roon at halos hindi na ako makahinga. Idagdag pang hindi ko na halos maramdaman ang ilong ko dahil sa biglaan kong pag-iyak. What he is doing might kill me. I tapped and tapped at his hands but he seems to not care about it.

I will die.

"Ti-Tito...J-Jeremy..."

"Speak, Ariella. Speak. I can still remember how your mother pleaded while I watch her lose her breath, too. She is just like you. You have the same face."

He confessed. He did.

"I will kill...you."

"And how, Ariella? How are you gonna do it? Your mom has eyes and failed to see her death. You don't have one."

"But I can see myself killing you." Nagawa ko pang sabihin bago ko maramdaman ang halos pagkawala ko na ng hininga.

He is really choking me so hard. I might really die tonight. His anger, his mental issue, everything. He can kill me.

"Ariella..."

Kakaagad akong napabalikwas ng bangon at napahinga nang maluwag kahit na naghihingal pa. I heard Leopold's voice and just like that, all my worries are gone. There's no Tito Jeremy choking the life out of me but Leopold's hands grabbing me by my neck. His breathing is so close to my neck. His other hand is on my legs as he ruins my shorts.

"Why do you look so mad in your sleep?" He asked. Napasinghap pa ako nang dilaan niya ang leeg ko at kagatin nang bahagya ang aking tainga. "Are you having a bad bad dream?"

His voice. I swear to everyone that it is intoxicating. Ibang-iba ang dating noon at hindi ako makapagpokus sa totoong nangyayari. I had a dream about Tito Jeremy following me to my room before Leopold appeared. Does that mean I fell asleep so quick?

I am so thankful that scene really did not happen in reality, but I am quite as disappointed too because hearing him confessing on my Mama's death is not a reality. I cannot hold onto that and use it against him.

"Fuck with me. I'm hungry, Ariella. I miss your lust."