With or without you

Chapter 42

"Yes. Do it. You have to come." Gray said as we pulled into my drive way. I just looked at him.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Just go. I want you at the game. And too Austin isn't going to try anything because he knows if he did I'd kill him." Gray smiled a twisted little smile.

"I don't know. I haven't even asked him about it. We haven't talked about it since your last game."

"If he offered I'm sure he still wants you to go with him."

"It would be two hours just me and him in the car. Plus, I don't want to date him." I looked down at my hands. I fiddled with the little red collar that I held in my hands. Gray and I had really gone to a pet shop after he got done with practice to get a little collar and bowl for the white and gray cat. That was an adventure. Gray wanted to buy every cat, hamster, bird, lizard and even snake that we passed. It was a hassle getting him away from the ferrets. I think he really would have bought one if I had let him stay a few minutes longer.

"I know you miss her Tess, but you've got to let her go."

"I don't just miss her Gray. Its more than that. I feel like I'm dying. Like there's something in me that has just lost all its will to keep going. If I could just let her go, and move on, I would have. I wish it were that easy, buts it's not." I don't think Gray knew what to say to this. He just blew out a breath and looked at the ceiling.

"Tess." Gray blew out.

"Yes?"

"Stop being a pussy." I rolled my eyes and looked up at the roof. I felt a smile come across my face.

"You're such a jerk."

"Your favorite jerk."

"I guess." I looked down at the collar again. I kept thinking about her. I didn't want to, but I did. I was thinking about her smile, about the look she gave me the first time we kissed. My mind always went back to the look she gave me when she left my house though. The way her lip quivered because she was trying to fight back the tears. The way she kept her hand on the back of her neck so she had something to do with her hands. Her eyes were red, and she was trying to fight the tears but they fell anyways. She kept running her hand through her hair, she always did that when she got nervous.

"Just ask him if you can drive with him" Gray always had a way of pulling me out of my daydreams.

"Okay Gray. I'll ask him."

"I just want you at my game dork. It's important. It could be the last of the season if we lose."

"Okay Gray. You guilted me into it okay. I'll ask him."

"Thank you Tessaaaa."

"Whatever Gray." We got out of the car soon after that and stood around waiting for the cat to come. We both started getting cold so Gray decided that he was going to go home. I watched Gray walk back to his house. I started for my front door when I saw the cat start walking up towards me.

"You're a little late buddy. Gray already left." I said before I realized I was talking to a cat. He rubbed against my leg and went back and forth from one to another. I kneeled down and wrapped the collar around his neck. He didn't seem to mind. I sat there petting him for a while before I decided to go inside. I watched as he followed me to the door. I wondered if I should let him in. I decided against it since my parents would probably freak out if they found him. I went inside so I could go to bed. Things are getting too complicated. I don't want to deal with any of it.