With or without you

Chapter 13

After the I had dropped of Gray at his house from the celebration party, I went home and laid in bed for hours. I couldn't sleep. I just kept wondering what had happened between her and Charlette. I can't stand Charlette. I don't know why she still puts up with her. When I finally fell asleep it was already four in the morning.

Sunday was uneventful. She was on my mind of course, but then again, she always was. She was the one constant in my life besides Gray. He and I didn't hangout on Sunday because we had designated those days for us to be with our families. We were so inseparable for a while that our parents had finally gotten tired of it and asked us if we could go one day without each other. They were kidding of course but we figured this would be best. Once I met her though it wasn't a problem of me being with him because I was constantly with her. I spent the whole day with my family just watching movies and hanging out around the house. At around three in the afternoon we decided to go out to eat 'as a family'. I don't mind hanging out with them. It doesn't bother me now the way it used to. When we were still together I always felt torn between her and them. If I was with them I felt this dreadful longing to be with her, but if I was with her I felt like I was letting my family down in some way for not spending any time with them. A horrible dilemma, that I guess I don't have to worry about. My parents haven't asked where she's been so that's good. Like I said, my parents don't know I'm bi. In their minds I'm straight with a guy best friend who eventually I'll start dating and fall in love with. They've had that notion in their heads ever since they met him. They adored the way he took care of me, and that he was always pushing me out of my comfort zone. What they don't realize though is that while Gray made me brave, she made me confident. She made me feel like I had the right to be heard, like what I said mattered. She listened and understood in a way that no one else ever had. She pushed me in ways Gray couldn't. I wouldn't say she gave me my voice, but she definitely developed it. I spent the allotted day with my family, all the while I felt my mind keep being pulled back to her, constantly, relentlessly, like waves in a storm.

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Monday morning Gray and I had gone through our regular morning routine. I had driven us this morning, and instead of donuts we decided to pick up Whataburger. We sat through our first three classes together until fourth period when he had to go to his basketball period and I went to my regular class. I'll never understand why they practice during the day and then after school too, but whatever. I got into the classroom, and as I was sitting down, taking out my notebook and other such necessities I got a text. I assumed it was Gray, so I took my time looking at it, especially since he likes to send me memes all the time. Most of which I don't understand. Once I'd gotten all my things out, the bell rang and my teacher started walking towards the front to start lecturing. I completely forgot about the text until the lecture was over and my teacher started handing out our busy work assignment.

When I remembered the text, I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at it. Seeing her name on the screen sent my body into a panic. It's strange how seeing her text made me feel so nervous, when before, it made me feel so happy. I opened the message and just stared at it. All it said was

Can you come over tonight? I took a breath and looked around, worried that everyone else knew what I was thinking, knew what I was feeling. I took another breathe and replied.

Yes. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. The rest of my classes were a blur.

"You what?" Gray screamed later when I told him what was going on. We had just gotten out of our sixth period and were heading to the gym for him to practice.

"I told her I'd go over."

"Why?" I could see him debating on what I should and shouldn't do. I know he only has my best interest in mind but I feel like this is just something that I have to do.

"I don't know. I just feel like I need to. Like she needs me."

"Tess, I don't think you should go."

"I have to."

"What about me? You drove us here today."

"Just take my car home." Gray rolled his eyes. She had already told me that she would take me home.

"Fine." He was pouting now. I just smiled a bit.

"Come on." I whined. He pursed his lips and looked to the right.

"I'll buy us dinner next time we go out." A small smirk crossed his face.

"Okay." He smiled then put his hand on my head as I gave him my keys, then walked into the locker room. I sort of just assumed that she would be waiting for me in the car. Once I'd walked out of the school I saw her sitting in her car. She was looking down, and I wondered if she was just staring at the steering wheel or if she was on her phone. When I got the text saying she was in the car, I got my answer.

I had reservations about walking up to her car. This isn't going to end well. I know that, but I also feel like I need to find out. Plus, a part of me is looking for any way to be close to her. Any way to be near her. It sounds pathetic I know, but when it comes to her I just can't help myself. I am completely in love with her. I knocked on the window and watched as she pushed the button to unlock the doors. I pulled the handle and opened the door and just stared for a second.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey."