Calamity [Zarry Stylik AU]©️

Chapter 9: I CLIMBED

H,

I watched Zayn in the review mirror for as long as I could while driving away from the Centre.

I felt like an imposter driving away from him, but I couldn't risk it. I wouldn't allow any cracks on this perfect pod we were creating. It was odd. I know this looked odd to anyone watching from the outside. The best way I could describe it is that we found solace in being damaged together. I'm not sure what it was, but this pulls towards Zayn that I couldn't quite escape, counting every minute, every second just to be in the same area as him.

Zayn was like this perfect little gem that I found in a desert, and I wanted to take care of him the best I could. This implied making it all secret if necessary. I didn't feel judged or questioned whenever I was with him. He didn't belittle me or smother me; I could breathe freely around him. It was as if I were throwing myself into shallow water from I high cliff knowing bloody well I could end up with something broken - but he just made me want to jump in.

I felt his scent on me, the roughness of his palms contrasting with the softness of the back of his hands. I hope Zayn hadn't noticed me carefully guarding him as he fell deeper into his mind right on my chest. I savoured every second of us under that tree, in the middle of the night, guarded by a full moon. It was something magical. I don't think he noticed when I leaned my nose into his hair, feeling the strands touch my skin and inhaling all of him. His hands stayed placed on my thighs, a soft touch, gentle, but I could still feel the burn of him through my clothes. I wanted to stop time and return to that moment.

Halfway home, I pulled the car to the side of the road and turned it off. I wanted to explore. I felt bursting with the emotion of a tornado dancing within me. I was happy, overjoyed, and fearful, but most of all, I needed Zayn. The air came from my lips, instead of my nose, too fast for me to control it - I was hyperventilating in desperation for his absence. I needed to calm down before heading home. Breathing in and out, I took a few moments to think.

What was I doing? I was doing too much for a bloke I just met! Why?

My head fell on the steering wheel, and I closed my eyes. I couldn't believe I was following the same path I had done in the past. Gave me all at once, too much at once, uncertain of what happened on the other side.

I couldn't be wrong. I had seen it in his eyes, how he moved, how he matched my smile and how certain Zayn was that we weren't being idiots. When I first saw him by the river, I knew he was nervous.

So was I.

It was a mirage seeing him, such a disruptive figure with all his tattoos and dark hair, enjoying the green of nature.

Sitting next to him on the grass, the heat emanating from him got to me and, right there and then, I wanted him.

Last night, as he guided me through the darkness, I wasn't afraid - he was guiding me! Walking ahead, I measured every step Zayn took. Devoured him. When I sat down, I thought he'd sit next to me maybe - thinking I was overdoing it. When he sat in between my legs I was shaking inside. Trembling with desire. The weirdest part of all of this, wasn't how fast the emotions were running through me, but how right it all seemed.

I raise my head from the steering wheel, taking one final breath. I needed to go home, shower and begin my day at work with Zayn inhabiting my every scent.

I arrived home to find my mother's car still in the driveway. I knew Mum was waiting for me to continue the scolding I had received on the phone. I never lied to my mother. It wasn't something I'd do. So, I can admit that, aside from everything I was feeling within, I was a bit nervous about the thought of my mother being angry at me. I entered home, listening to the TV humming quietly in the kitchen.