Into deception

Ghost from the past

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When I wake up I'm greeted by a numbing pain, a pain that vibrates through me reminding me exactly why I'm feeling it in the first place. Falling asleep on hard wood isn't exactly a smart idea.

I slowly place the palms of my hands on the worn-out floor, it's cold and dusty and it takes a moment to push myself up straight but once I'm up my back hits the wall under the stupid window. Instead of looking up I force myself to look down. Not up. Definitely not up, not yet at least. Dealing with that mess is going to take me a good minute at least plus, if anything is bothering me the most it's the fact that it's daytime, it means I'm stuck till nightfall, fucking great.

I wasn't even meant to fall asleep here I just wanted to lay down for a while and breath, but here I am. Trapped by my own idiocy. I avert my gaze from my feet all the way to what is both called a mess and honestly a very obvious sign that I need a therapist because what the fuck. What the actual fuck have I done. But then again, it's a good reminder for me to stay straight, to not venture off track and go exploring into the known, not the unknown, the known. I already know what would happen if I did.

My phone buzzes and it takes me a while to figure out that it's for me, the sound is so unusual that I forget I have a phone to begin with sometimes, although the part I'm more concerned about is who's texting me. The phone unlocks at my face and I'm met with an unknown number, but that 'unknown' part doesn't stay very mysterious for even half a second. One word unlocked all that mystery away.

Unknown; You still alive dumbass?

I smile down at the text and before responding to it I change his name so that my heart doesn't have a heart attack each time I hear that little ding. At the end of the day, he isn't the only one with my number anymore.

Me; Sadly, yes

Dumbass; How would you like to stop being alone and meet me and some others somewhere?

Me; I'd tell you that number one, who says I'm lonely and number two who is 'others' and last but not least where's that 'somewhere'

Dumbass; Me, Will, Max and some few others at a bar. sound good?

I think I lost him the second a name I haven't heard in a very long time let alone read popped up. My hands suddenly feel stuck in place and I can't respond to Ray's messages, the phone keep vibrating onto my palm that have grown wet suddenly. I can't seem to feel much of anything except for the buzzing that keeps on going at a rapid pace.

Max.

The one I said I would kill if I ever saw him again. What the-

The phone keeps buzzing and buzzing which alternatively pulls me out from the shock. I didn't even realise my phone switched off till I look down to text him back, shit. Once I unlock it again I read all his 10 very persistent messages.

Dumbass; So, are you in?

Dumbass; I'm guessing the silence means yes which if so, come at half 11 ;)

Dumbass; Oh nearly forgot it's at Mikes bar

Dumbass; Okay maybe just respond with a yes or a no

Dumbass; Mia?

Dumbass; Miaaaaaaaaaaa

Dumbass; I don't beg this is so stupid what am I doing

Dumbass; Okay please?

Dumbass; You actually don't have a choice now you're coming I don't even care.

Dumbass; You're an actual dumbass you know that?

Do I want to go? I think so yeah but then the butterflies in my stomach are doing nothing to encourage my thoughts. Absolutely nothing.

Me; Hey sorry I'll be there, promise.

Dumbass; Yeah I know I literally said you had no choice.

My lips stretch into such a stupid smile that I almost slap myself for it doing so without my permission. Why does my body act on its own sometimes, why.

Me; Suck it.

He doesn't respond to that but I know his stupid ass is probably laughing right now. Till 8 I still have 18 hours to kill exactly, and what better way to do that than by doing pointless things in the meantime. I stand up realizing I still have a dress on, it's soft fabric now crumbled and covered in dust full in need of a dire wash, including myself too, so that's what I do. Shower is the first thing on my pointless to-do list.

Once I've dried off and put on cloths that don't consists of baggy sweatpants and a hoodie that is stupidly too big for me, I slip on my shoes to top it all off. Last time I didn't wear shoes in this apartment I had to spend an hour taking out a splinter that kept breaking into more smaller pieces each time I tried to pull it out. It was hell to say the least but from then on I never made that same mistake again. Plus, my feet are warm this way so win win.

The unfinished puzzle on my little table has been here for I think over two weeks now so I finally give in and finish the whole thing. It's a picture of the London eyes, it's dark, the streetlamps are shining the dimmest bit of light but it's so beautiful, the eye is brightly lit on the other hand letting the water shimmer beneath it. I miss London more than anything these days, but I also know that moving back could complicate a lot of things and that's not something I can afford, ever. I stare at it for a moment longer before pulling my eyes away and seeing what I else I can do. It's officially no longer 7:20 in the morning but 9 on the dot, 14 hours left to go.

Food. Everyone loves food and when it comes down to it I'm just as normal as the rest of the people on earth and God am I hungry. I call and order a pizza because let's be honest who doesn't love pizza? and if I ever found a person who didnt like pizza well I'd probably laugh then feel sorry for them then most likely stab them. Yeah, I think I'd stab them, hard and extra painfully. Like maybe wiggle my knife around the area a little kinda painfully.

I eat, I clean and I even have time to fix the lock on my door before it officially strikes 10 leaving only a single hour to meet them. My mind and stomach and apparently my bones too begin to rattle inside me from the nerves, nerves that haven't been stirred in a while and it's all because of a guy named Max. A friend- well an ex-friend who I haven't seen since the day I died and came back to life on the same day, someone who meant the world to me, someone who was a rippling current of peacefulness in my life when everything was the complete opposite, also known as Banes right hand man and best friend too. Which makes me wonder, have they talked at all?, have they been friends for all this time or did they also part ways since that day. So many question that need answering and the possibility of it all being answered in just an hour makes my head explode, that is if I do talk to him.