The Art Room [Oikawa x Reader]

Chapter 27 - Rejection

"Y/N, what is up with you?" Aya asks as I'm staring at nothing in particular. It was our lunch break, and she decided to sit with me.

"Huh? Nothing's up. What makes you think there's something up?" I reply.

"Well, you've been zoning out more than you usually do, you always look like you're deep in thought, and you don't seem as enthusiastic about anything. Not that you were very enthusiastic in the first place... but you're just acting different!"

It's only been a few days since I've been back at school, how is she noticing all these things? I didn't even realize I was acting like this.

"Aya," I pause, trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words, "Do you still like Oikawa?"

She seemed a little surprised at my sudden question, "No... I don't. Not romantically, at least. Why?"

"How did you know you didn't like him anymore?"

She squinted her eyes, completely confused. It didn't take long for the sudden realization to hit her though.

"Wait... are you thinking about whether or not you like Iwaizumi?"

I stayed silent. Hearing someone say that out loud just makes me feel even more guilty than I already am.

"...Why? I thought you guys were doing good."

"We are doing good! I think... and that's why I'm so confused about why I'm having these thoughts! Like you said a while back, he's basically the perfect guy! So why do I feel this way?" I blurted, covering my face with my hands.

"Y/N... I said he's the 'perfect guy' because that's how I view a 'perfect guy'. Just because I think that, it doesn't mean everyone else will. And you can't control your feelings."

I guess she's right. Everyone has their own image of perfect. It's like art. Just because I see an art piece as perfect, that doesn't mean everyone else will see it the same way I do.

"But what happens if I tell him I don't like him anymore, then he's like 'Man, this girl sucks", and then everything is all awkward and weird, and our friendship is ruined, which would also ruin the friend group!"

"You know Iwaizumi wouldn't think like that, right?"

I sigh, "Yeah... but I kissed him... I told him I liked him. I'm too far gone at this point. It would wreck everything if I said I don't like him."

"How do you know that?" Aya says, "I think it's better to be honest now, rather than later. Waiting and forcing your feelings would make it worse."

"It's hard though... he's nice and a really good friend, how am I supposed to tell him?"

She thinks for a moment, "Maybe you just ask to talk to him, then say it how it is...? I dunno, if I was in your position, I'd be having a hard time too. I think it's difficult to tell someone that you don't like them the same way they do. Especially if they're a close friend."

"Hm..." I rest my chin on the palm of my hand, "You're right, I should just be honest. Straight to the point. I guess... I can talk to him tonight."

"You for sure don't like him?"

"I don't know."

"Then figure out your feelings before you tell him you don't like him." She states. This is great, it's like at the start of this whole Iwaizumi and I situation, when we were both confused about our feelings. But this time, it's just me.

I wish everything was how it was back at the start of the year.

"Ugh... I will. And how do I do that exactly?" I question, feeling completely drained after this conversation. My brain just wants to shut off.