Paul & Moi

Chapter 38

It's been several days since I went back to high school. Jena and Paul take care of me so that I don't get lost and I'm starting to remember more and more what I had forgotten. Regarding Paul, I just remember having a relationship with him and that I was happy with him. But I'm now with Derek and everything is going very well. However, Paul insisted on coming to my house to help me with math. He told me that he was doing quite well and that he could help me. I couldn't refuse his offer. He will soon arrive. While waiting for him, I decided to prepare some snacks. I prepare some treats that Derek taught me to make and I put them on the table. Someone ends up knocking on the door. I open the door and see Paul with a big smile. I invite him to go home and we sit on the couch.

"What a welcome! Is that all for me?" He asks when he sees the snacks on the table.

"Yes, I thought you might want to eat some things, so here it is."

"It's super nice, thank you. Even if I can't have the only thing I want," he says, looking me in the eye.

I'm a little troubled by his reflection but I act as if I hadn't heard anything.

"Well, let's get to work?" He asks me.

I agree and open my notebook.

Paul asks me what I don't understand and takes his time to explain me well so that I understand. We spend several hours on our trigonometry classes and I decide to interrupt the session because I'm starting to have a headache.

"Thank you Paul, for being so patient. I understood everything thanks to you!"

"I would wait for the time it takes. Come here!" He said, taking me in his arms.

I feel his perfume and close my eyes. We had already experienced a situation similar to this. I was at Paul's and I was helping him with math. We were in his room and he didn't understand anything. Paul said that he was not good at math at all. Would he have lied to me at that time to be with me? I withdraw from his protective arms and he stares me straight in the eyes. His gaze is touching. Our faces are only a few centimeters away. My heart is beating faster and faster. I don't know what to do. I want to feel his lips on mine so much but I can't let him do it. He then caresses my cheek with his palm and then my lip slowly. I can't deny this tension between us. He brings his face closer to mine and slowly begins to kiss me. I let myself be carried away by his kiss and I don't try to resist him. Then, everything comes back to me. From beginning to end, everything. Everything we experienced, our meeting, our first kiss, our first time, our arguments, my accident. I interrupt this kiss suddenly. He looks at me with a questioning look but I try not to let anything appear.

"What's wrong?" He asks me, caressing my cheek again.

"Nothing... I... see you in high school?" I babble on my words.

He doesn't try to understand and I accompany him to the door.

Once he has left, I go up to isolate myself in my room. I just cheated on Derek with the guy who hurt me the most in my life. And the worst thing about all this is that I don't regret kissing him. I enjoyed this kiss. Paul took advantage of the fact that I lost my memory to get closer to me and improve his image. He succeeded. He showed me a facet of him that I had missed and that I was looking for in him. The attentive, true and honest Paul. Despite everything this guy has made me go through, I can't help but return to his arms. As if our souls were linked to each other. No matter how much I tried to get away from it, I always come back to square one. I'm tired of it. Why do I love him?