Don't Fall too Fast ✔️

Chapter thirteen: A Year Later.

Chapter thirteen: A Year Later.

Here's to the future because I'm done with the past.

*

4th of May, 2015.

4:31pm.

Today was like an ordinary day, I was kind of happy just forgetting all of my problems. Not one thought had crossed my mind on what day it was, not one memory passed through on this day. I came home and ate some noodles. Like I always did. I then did my French homework. After, I felt like continuing on with one of my many Wattpad stories. I thought to myself 'Maybe I should work on a story for wattpad, since it's going to be available soon and I've only written four chapters.' I then got my notes for the story with all my ideas and scenarios. I looked down to checked the time and I noticed the date.

I stared at it, without words. Speechless.

"It is today?" I asked myself in shock, checking the date over and over to make sure I was not seeing things. I quickly checked my Facebook Messenger and I scrolled down over the twenty chat boxes to find his one.

Today was the day.

A whole year and I hadn't even deleted his chat yet like I was supposed to do a while ago. Not a single word to each other since. Feelings and memories came rushing back as I remembered everything.

*

That day marked a year of the last time I ever spoke to him. By now, I had gotten over him but I was unsure if I still loved him. Of course I didn't. I was finding myself, loving myself. And I couldn't love anybody until I had done that. I never loved him, I had feelings for him but that was it.

I would only know if I still had feelings for him if he started talking to me again or if I ever saw him. I knew my stomach would turn but, I wasn't sure how I would react.

My tears were all dried up, I promised myself that I would never cry over him anymore because he was in my past and I had moved on.

I was sure he already had too.

The last thing I cried about what when he went to the school ball with Maddie. I saw his profile picture and burst into tears. He looked so handsome in a tux and she looked gorgeous in her pretty dark blue dress. I blocked the memory out as soon as I finished crying. I unfollowed his Facebook page so I wouldn't see his posts and that made me happier.

I wiped the tears away and told myself that I needed to stop and move on for good. Thinking back over the summer that we talked every day, I realised that I shouldn't have let him lead me on like he did. He was a player. He had many girls that he most likely led on. As I could tell from his snapchat friends list. He got bored of me and moved onto another girl. I still remembered our conversations like it was yesterday but, it didn't bring my tears anymore.

I used to think about him every day and now it was  like he was never apart of my life. I didn't think he would ever know how I felt or how much he hurt me. And boy, he hurt me bad. I couldn't even remember his voice anymore, it had just faded away from my mind.

His face was slowly disappearing from my sight, I couldn't remember him anymore. He only left me the words of a friend that I used to know. He probably hadn't even noticed that it had been that long since we ever spoke and I was not expecting him to.

He was probably happy with someone else and I honestly hoped he was. I probably couldn't give him what he wanted and maybe he wasn't right for me. I lived an hour away, I couldn't give him everything. I was self conscious, not skinny and I had a lot of insecurities and flaws. I always think that God gave me that bad, heartbroken experience just to know what it felt like to be broken like that and to never trust that quickly again. He was telling me to wait for that someone special who would love me for me and in person, not online.

I was okay with waiting.

God was only looking out for me and I believed he was right. I would never know how he truly felt, I would never know his thoughts. But, I didn't think about that anymore, if he wanted me then he would have fought for me but he moved on.

It still hurt but, I was over it. I didn't think you can ever un love someone. Or was I wrong? Please correct me if you disagree.

He woke me up to what love felt like and what heartbreak felt like and now I knew. I used to reread our old messages and cry over them. 'Ily.' Until I woke myself up and I realised the only way to get over him was to stop looking. Remove him from your favourites. Stop checking that was he online. Stop checking his profile. Stop reading our old conversations because I always seemed to cry at what I had lost. No, he lost me. I remembered that I was always checking his Snapchat friends and getting upset because they were all girls, now I didn't even look at his name. I even blocked him from seeing my stories on snapchat but, he didn't post on his story anymore which was probably a good thing. It was for the best. After a while, I even removed his snapchat from my list.

It was the best yet worse year of my life and here I was, writing the story about the time we spent talking to each other and the time we didn't. I was surprised that I didn't cry at reading our conversations as I was writing how I was feeling. I knew that I was completely over him and I promised myself that I wouldn't look back.

After this story, the messages would be deleted and I would be free from him. I would never look at them again and I would forget. He was  my acquaintance and that was it.

*

I remembered a few months ago, I watched a film called, "The Best of Me."

It reminded me so much of him and our lives. It was a love story that started with a couple of teenagers in love and Brandon popped into my head. They broke up because of bad circumstances and never saw each other again. The couple then met twenty years later and it brung back the memories of what they had. I smiled throughout this whole film, it was beautiful and it reminded me of so much. At the end, the main character died and it left his true love devastated and that was what made me burst into tears. That could have been us. It should have been us. But, who knows?

I didn't know what God had planned for me but, I was excited to find out.

*

I always think of the quote "Don't be sad that's it over, just be happy that it happened."

It reminded me to be happy that it happened and what I experienced because I was aware of how it felt. I wouldn't be loving anyone anytime soon. He broke my trust to love, I fell too fast. And as I finish the story, I was removing him completely from my life.

I had moved on and I was happy being the single, sixteen year old girl that had never kissed a boy. I was glad to say that I was happy with that.

The right one was waiting for me and when the time was right, when God knows I'm ready; he would come.

There were days when I looked up at the stars and missed him deeply. I smiled at the memories and the conversations. I was excited about the future ahead and what was going to happen to me. I could say that I had finally let go.

Girls, here's some friendly advice from someone who has learnt a lot, fallen too hard and gotten back up again:

Don't Fall too Fast.

****

Thank you for reading this true story and I hope you found it a good story to read. All these events are true and the feelings and thoughts were real. I can honestly say it was truly hard for me to write but I did it and I'm happy that I have completed my first true story on Wattpad.

Also, check out the song at the top that could be ten years later if Brandon and Amanda met again. I'll mostly likely update it again if things progress, maybe. Thanks for voting and commenting! Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything.

So, Thanks again! Xx
Much love, Sarah!