Komahina Oneshots

His Voice

TW: Drugs, Kidnapping, Torture, Blood, Vomit, Cussing, Suicide (This was a gift to my friend, who's favorite movie is Saw... yeah... sh*t goes down in this one 😬)

Nagito didn't think he deserved to live. I mean, how could he? He was worthless, stupid, talentless, ugly, insignificant, the list went on and on. And no matter how much he loved him, he knew he was making Hajime unhappy. He was just a burden placed on Hajime's shoulders. Hajime would leave him any day now, he could feel it. Why would Hajime stay with a broken boy who could barely function anymore?

These thoughts kept Nagito up at night. The voices in his head caused immense pain and the pain raged like a wildfire. It filled up Nagito's senses, consuming his entire being. Why did he have to be here to suffer? Why did Hajime suffer for him? What was the point of sticking around if he was just a burden to society?

The only thing that would ease the pain even a little bit was Hajime's voice (well, pot and sleeping pills helped too, but Hajime's voice was the healthier option). Hajime's beautiful, angelic voice that would sooth and calm Nagito during a panic attack or when he would take one too many sleeping pills just to stop the voices in his head or when Nagito wanted to die so badly he would slice his wrists open.

Or like now for example. Nagito was laying in a hospital bed, the heart monitor beeping as Hajime murmured comforting words in his neck. Previously, Nagito had a huge panic attack, so big and painful he had swallowed every sleeping pill he had to try to ease the pain. The ambulance barely made it on time.

Why was Hajime still here? Why hadn't Hajime given up on Nagito yet? Why did Hajime love him so?

"It's okay Nagito, I'm here I'm here. I'm always here for you, no matter what." Why? Why was Hajime here for him? Nagito opened his mouth to ask but his throat was dry and his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Hajime kissed his cheek. "We'll get you better, I promise." How? Nothing except physical pain and Hajime stopped the mental pain, and lately, neither seemed to be as effective as the sleeping pills. "I've been looking into Springwoods-"

"No," Nagito croaked, the first time he had spoken in a day. "Not Springwoods. Anything but Springwoods." A mental hospital was his worst nightmare.

"Nagito, it could help you!"

"It won't!" Nagito insisted. Nothing had helped before, why would this?

"Nagito, please!" Hajime begged. God, even when begging his voice was music to Nagito's ears. "I don't know what else to do! You scared the shit out of me yesterday! I walked in on you passed out on the kitchen floor with an empty bottle of sleeping pills in your hand! I thought you were dead!" Tears welled in Hajimes eyes. Don't cry, Nagito sadly thought. "I can't keep doing this Nagito! I love you too much! I can't lose you!" Nagito loved Hajime too. Loved him with all of his being. Hajime was the only light in Nagito's world. The lone star in a black sky. Hajime was the only reason Nagito was still alive.

Nagito turned the option over and over in his mind as Hajime tried to stop crying. He had been avoiding being an in patient for as long as he could, fearing being away from Hajime for too long, but was it finally time? Did he think Springwoods would make him better?

"Can I think about it?" Nagito rasped.

"Of course!" Hajime insisted, then grabbed a glass of water and held it so Nagito could drink and soothe his sandpaper throat. Nagito had heard horror stories about being an in patient, and many other stories about it not helping at all. Would he be willing to risk being away from the love of his life for a long time just for the chance to get better?

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Hajime kept a close eye on Nagito for the next week. Nagito didn't deviate from his new normal too often. He moped around the house, his eyes drooping and lifeless, sleeping or occasionally cleaning something for the heck of it. He slept the majority of the day since he didn't sleep much at night. He was lost. He was a prisoner in his own mind, telling himself that he didn't deserve to love. He didn't deserve to live.