I Miss You (kellic)

Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides

I found myself face down in the grass. I sat up and looked around, the bleaching sun staring right back at me. I was in my backyard?

I got up and went back inside.

Mama was in the kitchen making breakfast, "razón por la que estaban dormidos fuera?" (Why were you asleep outside)

I rubbed my eyes, still waking up, "Uhm, I don't know."

She sighed in frustration, "tiraste una fiesta?" (Did you throw a party)

Did I? I think I probably would've remembered.

"No," I muttered walking back upstairs. I glance over at he couch and Papa was passed out there, once again.

I wanted to ask her why they're still together, because honestly, when he's sober, all I ever see those two do is fight. I hated hearing what it sounded like. Fast cursing in Spanish. And sometimes if I got really bad, he would hit her. I wanted to go back down there and hit him back, but I couldn't. He was so much stronger than me, and would probably kill me if I ever tried anything. So I lock myself in my room when they fight, Mike turns his boom box up really loud, and the stray cat we picked up a few years ago runs into the laundry room and hides in between the washing machine and the dryer.

After a couple minutes of me just staring into space and not doing my homework, someone knocks on my door.

"Come in," I say not really wanting human interactions right now.

Mike opens the door and walks to me, sitting on the ground next to my bed.

I look down at him, raising my eyebrows and waiting for him to say something.

Finally he does, "You were sleep walking last night."

"Wait really?" I say leaning closer to him.

"Yeah," he says, "You went outside. I was gonna stop you, but I wanted to see where it was going." He chuckled.

"Asshole! Now I have to shower," I yell at him.

"You and Kellybear going on a date today?" He asks smirking.

I felt my face go red, "What?! Don't call him that! But yes, we are."

He made an "Ooo" noise and I then proceeded to hit him on the shoulder, "Stop!"

He laughs again, "Okay, okay. Sorry for embarrassing you. Oh, but I have to ask, is Kellin out yet?"

"No," I reply quickly. As much as I wanted him to be, these sort of things mustn't be rushed. He needed to take all the time he needs to do this. It's kind of a self-eval type thing, and I remember that it was hard enough for me to and no one was ever pressuring me.

I forced myself to get up and take a quick shower. The smell of dirt and grass paraded around my body; I smelled like a camper, and I definitely wasn't.

The shower relaxed my tense back and shoulders. Sleeping in your backyard isn't the most comfortable thing in the world. But, fuck Mike! He probably thought it was hilarious watching me just walk out into the backyard and fall asleep.

After I got out of the shower I stood in front of the mirror, completely exposed. I don't know why I do this, it's the same feeling of disappointment every time. I never had liked the way I looked. I was too short, too skinny, and my hair never did what I wanted it to do unless it was in a hat.

So, playing it safe I put a beanie on, black skinny jeans and a button down shirt. I glanced in the mirror once more and shrugged at my appearance. This was as good as it was going to get.