I Miss You (kellic)

Falling Asleep on a Stranger

"Hey, wake up," Kellin whispers in my ear.

My eyes flutter open quickly, locking with Kellin's. He smiles at me, propping his head against his hand.

"Good morning," he says simply.

I glanced around us nervously; were we in bed together?! Holy shit.

I pull the sheets over my head and groaned, "Why are you up so early?"

He chucks lightly, "I'm a morning person."

"Well I'm not," I mutter closing my eyes.

"You're sassy in the morning," he tugs at the sheets playfully, "I like it."

I felt my face heat up, "S-stop."

Wow, even in my most tired state of mind do I still manage to stutter.

Kellin grabs my hips and pulls me up against himself, "That's better."

I keep my eyes closed, hoping the embarrassing blush would fade away into the darkness.

He runs his hands up and down my arm slowly before looking back up at me, "Have you.." his voice trailed off, assuming I knew the rest of the question, which I did. He was talking about the cutting. I knew he was. That's all anyone ever seems to talk about.

I kept my eyes away from him, despite the limited distance between our faces. Fuck, it's not like I could just lie to him, he has a hold of my wrist.

I wince in pain, "Wait, Kellin-"

"You did it again, didn't you?" He asked, rolling my sleeve up slowly.

The lump of guilt and self-loathe swelled in my throat, making communication even harder for me than it already was, "K-kell."

He held my wrist in his hands and gently ran his thumb across the mutilated skin, "These are so fucking deep."

Sloppy tears ran down my cheeks, my breathing hitched and unsteady.

"Shh, it's okay," he coes, catching my pathetic tears with his index finger, "You'll be okay."

"I-it's not. I-I can't stop m-myself," I choke out through sobs. How could he care for an obvious lost cause such as myself?

He sits up on the bed, pulling me into a tight hug, "Don't cry."

No, but I need to. It's apart of the healing process, remember? It's a less harmful way of "releasing."

After about a couple minutes pressed up against Kellin, my shoulders finally begin to drop in a relaxed motion. My breathing returned to its regular pace, and the crying ceased.

He doesn't say anything, but instead runs his hands through my hair softly, humming to himself. I sigh, feeling myself sink into the bed, numb. But not the numbness in which I had so generously created for myself, it was a good kind of numb. A relaxing, easy feeling that I'd never actually experienced before, and I loved it.

I faced the front, my back up against his chest. I could feel the steady pacing of his heartbeat, and felt myself drift off a little into my own thoughts.

He continued to play with my hair, the humming now turning into slow, hushed singing:

"How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don't think words can express your beauty
It's singing to me
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me
I fell in l-"
He stopped himself, shifted his weight uncomfortably.