I Miss You (kellic)

The New National Anthem

I drove Kellin home after a few minutes of trying to wake myself back up. Today had been a very emotional one, and I was more than ready to crawl into bed and pass out.

I woke up at around three in the morning to screaming coming from down stairs; It was Mama.

Mike ran into my room and shut the door frantically, "Don't say anything."

"W-what's going on?" I whisper, despite his request to keep quiet.

He sighs and looks down at the floor boards, "They're fighting again. He's hitting her. Fuck! I just hate how I can't do anything about this."

I nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. Even though he was my father, I could kill him if he hurt her. I loved Mama, except whenever she forced her religion upon me, but other than that, I loved her. Although, I'm a little proud of Mike for knowing when to stay out of things, because the last thing I want is to be on a Dateline about my dead brother.

It was quiet for a long time; neither one of us really knowing what to say at this point. It was a waiting game, and it was dangerous. Then a loud crashing noise interrupted the silence, causing me to jump in my seat. I looked down at my hands and noticed they were slightly shaking. Great.

Mike stood up in one swift motion and looked towards the door.

"Don't," I say faintly. Please, whatever you do, don't go out there.

"We can't just sit back and let this happen. It's gone too far," he says heading out the door.

"Mike-" I stop myself, knowing he was right. But I swear to god if he so much as gets one scratch, I'll fucking kill him. No one messes with my brother.

I, however, would probably die in the process. And that was fine. As much as I wanted to be happy with Kellin and all of the things that are happening between us, I still found myself contemplating life. And as all of the others around me who roll their eyes when I tell them I still want to kill myself, fuck you. You don't know what it's like. Kellin is trying to make sense of it for the most part, but he still doesn't. No one could ever understand except for me. It's a little lonely, but it's not like I haven't lived my whole life like that.

The worst part of the situation was the suspenseful silence. As of now there was a lull in the fight. I could vaguely make out Mike's voice talking to them, but that was it. Then another loud bang causing the walls to shake. I curled up into my bed and wrapped my arms around my knees, bracing them. I wanted to cry. Not because I was upset about my parents fighting, but about Kellin. I was so confused, even though it was quite obvious what was happening here. I was also afraid of him. I was afraid of what he might do or say when his friends are around him. And mostly, I was afraid of love. Not saying that I'm in love with Kellin, but I'm afraid I'll get there too quickly. He was just so smooth and unexpected with the actions he took around me. I feel like I'm pretty predictable, just melting into the mold he's made of me like warm ceramic. Everything was just a little too much for an "extra virgin" to handle.

I opened my eyes and sat up in my bed. What am I even doing? I should be down there protecting Mike. I'm the older brother, I'm supposed to be more manly. And strong. But in reality I'm just a pussy who only talks shit in their own head. And a subject to the violence of their own devices.

The sound of a million pieces of glass shattering got my attention away from my deprecating thoughts. I jolted up out of my bed and ran down stairs to find the halls littering with small fragments of broken picture frames. Various other articles of furniture lay sprawled out along the floor.

I entered the living room hesitantly to find Mama on the floor, bawling, and Mike standing in front of her. He glanced over at me and then back at my Papa, whom was raising some kind of tool at them and yelling quickly in Spanish.