I Miss You (kellic)

Scene Five - With Ears to See and Eyes to Hear

Vic kept his eyes on the road, his jaw slightly clenched in frustration. He turned the radio up louder, the vibrations of a strange band I'd never heard of disbanding my thoughts.

I stared down at my hands, afraid to look at him. He was acting so awkward and weird about it. I mean, I still wanted us to be a secret, but I thought Mike already knew. He was the one who came to me and told me that Vic had a crush on me in the first place.

That was when I was still on the team...

~

"Hey Quinn!" Mike Fuentes yells at me from across the court.

"Hey bro what's up?" I ask wiping the sweat off of my forehead. It was fucking hot in here today.

He leans up against the bleachers casually, "I have it."

He holds out a paper bag, shaking it. I snatch in from him quickly, glancing around the gym to see if anyone noticed.

"Thanks," I mutter under my breath, "Is that all?"

He shakes his head, "One more thing. Uh, so my older brother Vic.." He stops, looking off to the side.

"What about him?" I asked cocking my head to the side. He really needed to hurry this up, I've got shit to do. Plus coach is gonna get mad if I keep the team waiting. As captain I have responsibilities to uphold. Oh my fuck of I ever got my captaincy taken away, Steve would flip his shit. He'd hit me again.

"He um, likes you," Mike says sheepishly.

What the fuck?

"Am I supposed to care?" I asked laughing.

He shrugs, "He's my brother, he's too much of a little bitch to say anything to you. So, I did. That's all. It's whatever man, I'll see you around. Oh, and don't abuse that."

He points at the paper bag before turning towards the door.

I smile slightly at the skag in my hands, "I won't."

I jog into the locker room and throw the bag into my backpack. Fuck, I can't wait for it. The seasons really gonna fucking kill now!

I make my way towards the door leading back out into the court, when I stop myself. Vic likes me? Who even is Vic Fuentes? And why would he like me? There's no way in hell that would ever happen, plus that's fucking creepy that a guy has a crush on me. And he should know that I don't do relationships; I just hook up with sluts. Everyone knows that. And he should also know that I'm fucking straight!

I push the thought of him out of my mind and run back out onto the court, focusing on the game.

~

"Kellin," Vic says faintly, "Aren't you coming?"

Fuck, I hate it when that happens; when I drift off into faded memories.

"Yeah, sorry," I respond, hopping out of the car.

I follow behind him towards the school, reminding myself to keep a little bit of distance between us. The last thing I need is for people to put me through even more shit than I already go through. It's worse for Vic though, I know it is. Compared to him my problems aren't even actual problems. His dad is in jail, his mom hates gay people, he's depressed. I know he is. I don't think he admits it to himself, but I can see it in everything he does. It's almost as if it controls his actions. Like he's some sort of slave to his own devices. He can't even not cut himself.

Fuck, I wish I could help him. I hate seeming him in pain. It physically tears me apart knowing that he hurts himself for something I started. I know he always says that it started long before he'd even met me, but I can't help but always blame it on myself. I'm a shitty, awful person for hurting him. I was so selfish too! All because I was trying to push away the very feelings I had towards him. Really, if I had to blame it on anyone, it was Mike's fault. He's the one who put that idea in my head, the one that tortured my thoughts. Vic confused me; he made me question myself. Then I wanted to hurt him. Fucking fuck! And look where we are now, sleeping in the same bed together.