Go Away (#TheWattys2015)

Chapter 21: Guilt

I woke up on my bed with Tasha snuggled next to me, snoring lightly. I looked around my room. Judging by the darkness I had slept through the whole day. My memory was fuzzy and I felt disoriented for a second, but then it hit me like a tidal wave.

My eyes darted around the room. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized something with a jolt of overwhelming panic. Zack was missing. Slowly sliding away from Tasha, I lifted myself off of the bed and tip-toed down stairs after softly closing my door.

I made my way towards the living room and gasped when I saw a figure sprawled onto the couch. Lightly brushing their hair out of the way, I smiled as it revealed Zacks closed eyelids. He looked adorable. His mouth was slightly open and all of his features were relaxed. He looked so peaceful and calm. I fought back the urge to run my hand through his hair and made my way to the kitchen to grab some water. Setting a cup down on the counter I turned towards the fridge and nearly jumped out of my skin. I relaxed when I saw that it was just Zack, smiling at me with his tired eyes, messy hair, perfect lips, and a small stream of drool on the side of his mouth that he quickly wiped away with his sleeve. I fought down a laugh building up in my throat. Zack smiled.

"Good morning," he croaked. His voice was raspy and he sounded tired. I gripped onto the counter behind me and tried to stay calm. My heartbeat was speeding up and it was becoming harder to breathe.

"Um good morning." I replied. I stared at the clock on the stove and my eyes widened.
"It's 2am!?"
Zack looked at the clock then stared back at me.
"Yeah. What's wrong?"
"Does your mom know you're here?"
"Yup. I called her earlier."

He slid his hands in his pockets and leaned onto the wall staring at me with a small smile on his lips. I felt my face grow hot and I gripped onto the counter even tighter. I looked away from him and said: "Great," praying that he would go back to sleep. I grabbed some water out of the fridge and poured it into my cup. It sounded extremely loud in the deadly silence of the kitchen. I busied myself with adjusting the colorful magnets Bella had placed on the refrigerator while I drank my water. I bit my lip and fought the sudden urge I had to scream and cry.

I never visited her yesterday. Here I am playing with her magnets and she's laying in a hospital bed. I touched a picture of us that was being supported by two red heart magnets. I'd never even noticed it there. It was a picture of Bella and I, kneeling at a beach building a sand castle together. In the picture I was giving her a high-five because she had successfully created one of the castle towers. My hands started to shake, the water in my cup wavered and threatened to spill over so I placed it down on the counter. Everything around me seemed to freeze. What happened to us? Why did that demonic thing have to come after me? What did I do to deserve this? Why was Bella dying? I should've been the one in that hospital bed. I should've protected her! What kind of worthless brat can't even save her own sister? Tears started to build up in my eyes. Of course, a voice in my head said. All you can ever do is cry. You can't save anyone. You don't do anything. You just cry and make a mess. Why are you still alive if you contribute less than nothing to this planet? I gritted my teeth. My heart stung with pain as I realized the voice was right. What have I done lately? Hang around Zack and Tasha having the best time of my life while my mom stayed home worried sick, my sister lay dying in the hospital, and Crystal...
Oh God Crystal! I never even visited her after she was nearly killed. Now she's actually gone. Forever. The guilt hit me like a tsunami and I nearly fell over. Zack stepped towards me and the rest of the world seemed to come back into focus.

"Daija are you alright?"
I nodded and hid my tear streaked face from him. When did I even start crying? My hands shook violently and I couldn't risk picking up my cup of water.
"I think I need some more sleep," I lied, slowly walking away from him, making my way towards the living room.
"Okay but first you have to tell me what's wrong."
My eyes widened in shock. How did he seem to know everything?
I shook my head.
"I'm fine." Another lie. I felt ready to jump off of a cliff laughing the whole way down. I would deserve the fall. I could almost feel the way a sharp rock would pierce my stomach and break my spine. I rushed out of the kitchen and headed for the stairs but I was grabbed around the waist and placed onto the couch in the living room. Zack sat next to me and carefully rubbed away the tears on my face.
"You're a terrible liar," he whispered.
I sniffed in response.
He scooted closer and reached over to wrap his arm around me and I backed away. The pained look on his face nearly killed me. I didn't deserve comfort right now.
"Daija what's wrong?"
"I didn't visit her."
"Who?"
"Bella. Or Crystal."
"Who's Cryst-"
I shook my head violently.
The images flashed in my head all over again. The violent and grotesque way she was murdered.
Her pale face and bloodstained body. The claw marks, bald spots, torn eyelids. Bile rose up in my throat. I gripped onto my hair and let the tears fall to the floor.
"Daija you can visit Bella today. Right after school. I bet she's feeling better."
I wanted to scream and run away from him, from everything. She never felt better. Just worse.
I shook my head again.
He moved closer to me and I moved away.
"Why are you doing that?" There was a tinge of frustration in his voice.
"Just...stay away from me," I whispered. There was a long pause, then he seemed to find his voice. "Wh-what?" The pain in his voice was obvious and another tear snaked down my face.
"Stay away from me."
I repeated through gritted teeth. He edged closer.
"Daija I-"
I jumped off of the couch and backed away from him, slamming into a wall.
"Stay away!" I hissed.
"Why? Why won't you let me help you? Did I do something? Do you hate me now?" His voice started to rise and he slowly started walking towards me. My knees shook and I wanted to scream. Tears were spilling out of my eyes and I swore under my breath. "I don't hate you."
"Then what is it!?" He hissed, clearly trying hard to keep his voice down.
"I-I don't deserve you. Or anyone. Or anything. Just. Please go away."
Wow I sounded pathetic. As always.
"Daija I'm not going anywhere. Don't blame yourself. You couldn't do anything about what happened to Bella."
I could've run faster, I thought to myself.
"You can't save everyone okay? Sometimes you have to learn to let things go. Look on the bright side, you saved my life today." His voice seemed to drone on in the background. I could've at least said goodbye to Crystal. There goes another tear. If I had just run fast enough, Bella would be sitting here with me. Another tear fell off of my face and hit the floor.
"Daija are you even listening to me?"
I nodded. Nothing he said would change anything.
"Let me help you."
I shook my head. He would just end up in the hospital too. I imagined Zack lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to wires and machines, staring at me through distant eyes. Tears flowed freely from my eyes. I felt him walk closer to me and I froze in place. No point in running now. He took my hands in his and lifted up my chin so that I could stare into his eyes. They were filled with tears. My heart pounded against my chest and felt ready to explode as he stared into my eyes. I stared back into his and nearly fell apart as a tear escaped down the side of his face. "Please."
I wanted to say no. To push him away and tell him to go. Leave me alone. But my voice seemed to be working on its own. "O-okay," I stuttered. He smiled, a sad yet happy smile, and I wiped away his tears with my sleeve. His smile widened and he swept me off of my feet and we fell onto the couch giggling softly.
"Go to sleep," he whispered, gently stroking my face and getting rid of my tears.
"Okay." I snuggled into his chest and inhaled his scent. Fresh and familiar. I instantly started to drift off.
.................

I woke up to the sound of someone clearing their throat. I blinked multiple times and when my vision cleared up, I was faced with a smiling Tasha, her arms folded, staring down at me.
"What?"
She pointed behind me and I turned around and gasped. Zack was curled up against my back snoring softly. I looked down and saw his arm wrapped securely around my waist. "Well then," I whispered to no one in particular. Tasha snorted and collapsed to the floor trying her hardest not to burst out laughing. I tried to hold it in but I failed. I rolled away from Zack and fell next to Tasha laughing extremely loud. She let out an even louder laugh and I laughed harder. We stopped and turned to face Zack when he stood up over us and smiled.
"What's so funny?"
We smiled back up at him. "Nooothing," Tasha answered. She glanced over at me and we started laughing again.
"Okay, come on ladies it's time for school."
"Well not exactly,"
Tasha replied.
"School starts at seven and it's five. We have two hours to drive you home and get cleaned up. I already took a shower so Daija you're up. Chop chop now." I lifted myself up on my elbows and stared at her. "Really?"
"Yes child education is still important."
She nudged my shoulder.
"Come on. Off you go. Washy washy."
I groaned and Zack reached out his hand for me to take. I took it and he helped me up to my feet. He stared into my eyes, our bodies nearly touching. I could feel my face growing hot and a small smile crept onto my lips.
"Ahem."
We both looked down at Tasha, her arms were outstretched to us. I took one of her hands and Zack took the other.
"Why thank you madam and kind sir," she said, once we got her to her feet. "Now madam, go take a shower. Right now would be nice." I playfully shoved her aside and walked upstairs. Grabbing sweatpants, a white t-shirt, black bra, and a gray hoodie, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. As soon as I shut the curtain I groaned loudly. Of course I forgot the most important thing. Underwear. "Tasha!" I shouted. Footsteps thumped up the stairs and I could tell it was more than one person.
"Daija!?"
I heard the door burst open. Peeking out from the curtain I was met with Zacks worried eyes and Tasha's head squeezing its way around his shoulder. "Are you okay?" Tasha asked. I laughed and smiled at them. "Yeah I just needed you to grab me some underwear. I'm fine."
She sighed and Zack shook his head.
"Maybe I should come in there and check-"
Tasha pulled him by his shirt and dragged him out of the door muttering something that sounded like: "You dirty little child." I giggled and grabbed some soap.
Tasha bounced back in a few minutes later.
"Here are your panties madam. I'll have you know that I received some assistance from Prince Charming. So in case of a time of need, he likes this one and five others." I smiled and continued my shower.
When I got out I smiled down at the light blue panties he had picked out. Funny. I would've thought he would chose a thong. I smiled at that and got dressed.

.............
A/N Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a hole I've been really busy with school and stuff. I know this chapter wasn't the best but I'll try to make the next few chapters better. Sorry again and please keep reading. Love you guys!!