Go Away (#TheWattys2015)

Chapter 27: Movies, Hugs, and Tears

They broke up a week later. Apparently Casey's
ex-boyfriend who had moved away at the beginning of the year last year, was back. She pretty much threw herself at him and dumped Zack right then and there. It was harsh, but he walked into that one. Tasha and I were walking out of math when we saw him slowly grabbing and shoving things in his locker. He seemed sad and a bit empty. I hated seeing him like that.
"I'm going to talk to him."
"Heck no." Tasha grabbed onto my arm. "He decided to go out with that witch, he's gonna pay the price." I gave her an annoyed look.
"C'mon Tasha. I should at least comfort him-"
"No! He deserves to wallow in shame at his stupidity alone." I shook her off and walked towards him. She groaned and walked off to her next class.
"Hey Zack." He looked up from what he was doing. I nearly gasped. His eyes were dark and baggy like he hadn't been sleeping. His usually bright, joy filled eyes were dark and filled with sadness and I think a bit of pain. My heart stung. No one should feel that bad over Casey. He muttered a small "hey" and started tugging angrily at something in his locker. "I'm guessing you heard," he said, not taking his eyes off of what he was doing. I nodded then remembered he wasn't looking at me.
"Um yeah. I'm sorry." He shook his head and grunted with frustration as he tugged at the object again. I looked closer and saw that his jacket was stuck.
"Dammit," he muttered angrily. He started tugging again and I placed my hand on his before he ripped his jacket. He stopped tugging and looked up at me. I tugged at his hand and he let go of the jacket and stepped a bit closer. I sighed and tugged him closer to me, wrapping him in a comforting hug. He hugged me back and held me close. I loved the way he held onto me like he needed me. He hugged me so tight that I could barely breathe. When we pulled away from each other the anger had faded from his eyes and he just looked a little sad. I easily slipped his jacket off of the hook in his locker and handed it to him. He took it and muttered a small "Thanks." His voice was laced with sadness and I couldn't bear to see him like that any longer. "Hey, why don't you come over tonight? We can watch a movie and eat ice cream and stuff. Get your mind off of things." He gave me a weak smile.
"That sounds great." I mussed his hair and he chuckled.
"C'mon cheer up buddy. My place at 5 okay?" He smiled at me, a real smile, and nodded. I smiled back gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Oh yeah, wear comfortable clothes!" I shouted to him over my shoulder as I ran off and made it to my next class right as the late bell rang. The teacher turned to face me with a disappointed look on her face.
"Daija you're late. I'll have to give you a late referral." I pointed down at my feet. I was all the way inside of the classroom and the late bell had just started ringing. She looked down at me and sighed. "Very well. I guess you technically aren't late. Take your seat." I smiled at her and sat down, giving her a wink that made her sigh and shake her head in disapproval. I smiled to myself. Smooth Daija, smooth.

After school Tasha's mom stopped by the store so that I could pick out some movies. Tasha groaned as I dragged her inside, but eventually she helped me pick some out. One horror movie to get us scared, an action movie to get us pumped and happy, then a comedy to make us laugh. I made sure every movie had as little romance as possible. The three movies were:
The Conjuring, The Expendables 3, and Get Hard. I smiled at the movies and payed for them, then left. Once we arrived at my house I got out two giant bowls for popcorn and pulled out our new tub of vanilla ice cream. I picked up separate cups but then I shrugged and put them back, grabbing two spoons instead. The ice cream was rock hard so I took it out 10 minutes before he would show up. I ran upstairs and cleaned my room, changing my bed sheets to the comfortable fluffy ones I like to grip onto when I got scared during a horror movie. I slipped on the bright yellow sweater my dad had bought me a few years ago and smiled. It was still huge on me. I loved the way I could flap my arms around and watch the sleeves flop everywhere. It went down to the middle of my thighs. I slipped on grey sweat pants and took out my braids, letting my curls free, praying Zack wouldn't hate them as much as Casey did. But who cares right? Tasha fussed over making my curls look perfect and she continued mumbling about how this was like a date and that I 'should look my best for Prince Charming.' I laughed at her and she sprayed me in the mouth with hairspray. All I have to say was...it didn't taste good. 5 minutes before Zack was going to arrive, I ordered a pizza and kept the huge popcorn bowls on the counter for later. I slipped on some fuzzy socks and smiled at myself in the mirror. I looked pretty cute. Simple, but cute. I made sure not to put the heat on too high so that I wouldn't be sweating and I would still feel comfortable in my clothes. The bell rang while I stood in my room admiring my work and checking for anything else that needed to be fixed. I grabbed the two yellow and blue bean bags from my closet in case he wanted to sit on them instead of my bed. I put them on two different corners in my room and smiled. Not bad. I ran downstairs, opened the door, and smiled up at Zack. His eyes widened for a second, then he smiled brightly back and I let him in. He wore black sweatpants and a baggy navy blue sweatshirt with slides and socks. He looked perfect. He stared at me for a while as I closed the door and turned to face him.
"What?" I asked, blushing slightly as he looked me up and down.
"Oh um, nothing. You look great." I blushed even harder and nodded.
"Thanks. So do you." He titled his head to the side and gave me a look that said:
"Really?" I giggled.
"C'mon you don't look that bad. Ready to get this party started?" He rubbed his hands together.
"Lets do it!" I laughed and headed towards the stairs.
"Wait. Daija?" I turned to face him with a bright smile on my face that refused to go away.
"Yeah what's up?"
"Could I uh, could I touch it?"
He pointed at my hair and I laughed, taking his hand and placing it on my head. He fluffed it up with his hands and giggled like a little kid. I laughed as he messed with it some more then stopped.
"Sorry, that's really cool. I never got to tell you that day at school when you had it like this but you looked awesome. I was going to tell you but you ran off really quick. What was that about by the way?" I smiled and shook my head.
"It was nothing I was just in a rush. C'mon it's movie time! Pizza should be here in a few." He cheered and we laughed running up the stairs. I opened the door to my room and he gasped.
"This is so dope." I giggled.
"Um sure. So I was thinking horror movie first, then action, then comedy." He nodded and smiled at me.
"That sounds perfect. So, where do you wanna sit?" I pointed at my bed and he smiled. "Awesome!" He plopped onto my bed and rolled around in the fluffy sheets. I laughed and shook my head, running down the stairs as the doorbell rang.
"Pizza's here!" I payed the pizza man who looked a bit familiar, and ran back upstairs. I figured he probably went to our school. Zack was beaming with joy when I walked in. I slid the movie into the DVD player and Zack and I dug into the pizza, not caring about manners because we were getting pretty comfortable around each other. I giggled when he got pizza sauce on his nose and handed him a napkin. The movie started and Zack was already getting spooked during the credits. He scooted closer to me and we watched eagerly, waiting for things to go wrong. We screamed a lot and I laughed when Zack squealed like a girl one time. Before I knew it the movie was over and we were sitting so close our shoulders touched. We had finished the pizza and I noticed at some point during the end of the movie, Zack had grabbed onto my hand. I stared down at his hand in mine and slowly slipped away to find the next movie. He smiled and waited eagerly. "You want popcorn?" I asked. He nodded vigorously and I ran downstairs during the opening credits. He waited patiently and when I got back with the huge bowls, he explained what had happened so far and we began munching on popcorn together. Throughout the movie we cheered and Zack even grabbed me and hugged me when the good guys started kicking butt. I laughed and hugged him back and we continued watching. By the time the movie was over we finished all the popcorn, might I mention Zack stole some of mine, and we went to the bathroom to wash our buttery hands. Before I dried mine I flicked Zack with water and ran out. He chased after me and flicked me back. I giggled as I got him again and he tackled me onto my bed.
"Haha I've got you now!" He flicked all of the water left on his hands at my face and I squealed and struggled beneath him. He laughed and stared down at me. Our eyes met and I smiled up at his shining hazel eyes. The way the colors blended together perfectly. He stared back into my light brown eyes and smiled. We awkwardly stared at each other like that for a bit until I squirmed under him and pointed at the TV. "Oh yeah. Movie time." He rolled off of me and I wiped my hands on my towel hanging on my closet door, then I slid in the next movie. I slipped under my blanket and Zack slid in next to me and smiled at me as I pressed play. During the movie, Zack ended up laughing so hard that he started having a coughing fit. I laughed so hard that tears were forced out of my eyes and when Zack saw the tears coming out of my eyes he laughed even harder. We both fell off of my bed a few times and I even fell on top of Zack once. I was on the edge of my bed and I laughed so hard that fell backwards onto Zacks lap with tears in my eyes. He smiled down at me and wiped my tears away with his shirt sleeve. We had another awkward staring contest. When he slightly leaned closer and I tilted my head up towards him, I realized what was happening and I panicked. I rolled off of him and went back to watching the movie. My fear of Casey stopped me from trying to kiss him right after they just broke up. I hated it, but when someone bullies you for an entire year and embarrasses you all over again the next, it sticks with you. We made it about halfway through the ice cream and decided to stop. Not to be healthy, but because we would choke on it during a funny scene every few minutes. When the movie was over, Zack and I kind of just sat there, watching the credits. I got up and put the movie back in its case, stacking the popcorn bowls up and tossing our ice cream spoons in them.
"We could play a game while we wait for your mom," I suggested. When he didn't say anything for a while and I looked over at him, shocked to find tears in his eyes.
"H-hey what's wrong?" I crawled over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He took a shaky breath. "Do you think I'm a bad guy? Maybe I'm not good enough for anyone. Why would Casey want to break up with me? Do you think there's something wrong with me? I mean I tried and I-" I hugged him. I held him tight and pulled away after a while.
"Zack," I said sternly, "listen to me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nuh-thing. Don't you dare waste your tears over someone like Casey. She's not worth it. Believe me. She just used you. I'm sorry but it's true. I don't think she ever really liked you." Another tear fell from his eye and I quickly dabbed at it with my sleeve.
"Zack please. Don't cry. It's okay. Look at me Zack." I cupped his face in my hands and his sad eyes met mine.
"There is nothing wrong with you okay? You're not a bad guy. You're amazing. People like Casey just can't see that. Don't cry. Cheer up sweetheart." He sniffed and grabbed me around my waist. I gasped as he pulled me close to him. I hugged him back and stroked his hair. "Shhh, it's okay. It's okay," I whispered into his ear. He gripped onto me tighter. I held onto him with all of my strength and gently pushed his head onto my shoulder. He rested it there, hugging me close to him. I enjoyed every second of his embrace. His strong arms wrapped around me securely and he gently moved his hand around on my back, his other hand gripping my waist. About 3 minutes later, he pulled away, his eyes bright.
"Thank you Daija." I nodded and smiled at him.
"No problem." I turned to get ready to clean up and lead him downstairs to wait for his mom, but he stopped me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back so that I was sitting in front of him. He stared deeply into my eyes and his next question made my heart stop.
"What happened between you and Casey?" I fought down a lump building in my throat.
"Nothing, really."
"C'mon Daija, I saw the way you looked at her. I'm not stupid. You could've easily put your stuff on one arm and shook her hand. What's up with you two?" I shook my head. "It's nothing."
"Hey, remember you said you would tell me everything? You said you trusted me. So come on. Trust me. Tell me what's up." I sighed.
"Zack, you wanted to know everything I knew about that (italicize thing) that's out there. Casey is something personal okay? It's not important." I started to get choked up. I needed to get out of here before I burst into tears.
"Daija I can tell she hurt you in some way. She hurt me by breaking up with me for someone else. How'd she hurt you?" Dear God he was pushy. I gripped onto my blanket and Zack reached for my hand. I pulled back and he stopped. "Daija?"
"I don't want to talk about it." But that didn't stop him. He edged closer to me and I scooted back. The pained expression on his face stabbed me with a feeling of guilt.
"Daija come on. I just want to know wha-"
"She bullied me okay!" I blurted out. His sad eyes and worried expression were becoming too much for me. He seemed to care so much, so I just fell apart. "She made my life a living hell last year! And y'know what's messed up? I never even found out why she hated me so much. I didn't do anything to her. I-I even tried to be her friend once. Then came the texts and the name calling, the boy stealing, the hitting-"
"Wait the hitting?" Zack asked. I stopped, realizing I had rambled and said too much. I turned away from him, trying to ignore the flicker of anger I saw growing in his eyes.
"Never mind. She just doesn't like me and I don't like her. Nothing else to know Zack. Nothing." I could feel the tears in my eyes before they fell. I frantically wiped at my eyes and jumped up off of my bed. I opened my bed room door. "Your mom should be here soon so um, I'll take you downstairs." He pulled out his phone and started texting someone.
"Hold on a sec." I stood there holding the door open, blinking away fresh tears and resisting the urge I had to rip my hair out. I told him. I was stupid and I just had to tell him. I gritted my teeth and tried to calm down and put a smile on. I had to be happy for him. I invited him over to cheer him up, not bring him down even more over my crappy past with Casey. He stood up a minute later. I moved out of the way so that he could step out. But he didn't. He grabbed the doorknob and closed the door softly. "I'm not leaving yet. I told my mom to hold off."
Crap.
He reached for my hand and I stepped back.
"Zack, this really isn't my favorite subject. Could we just forget about it?" He shook his head and stepped towards me. I stepped back. Then he lunged at me. He grabbed me around my waist and threw me over his shoulder, tossing me onto my bed and sitting down in front of me. I was too shocked to speak. I sat up slowly and backed away from him. He grabbed both of my hands in his and held them tight. "Daija," he said in a deadly tone. "What. Happened?" I stared into his eyes, hard as steel. Was he seriously that angry? Why did he care anyways? He continued staring at me and I found that it was getting for me harder to breathe.
"I-I don't, I don't know how to start-"
"Just go from the beginning alright? Take a deep breath, and let it all out." His tone changed. It was gentle and kind. His facial expression changed and his eyes softened. I took a deep breath and started talking.
"She never liked me from the day I moved here. I don't know why and I don't think she knew either at the time. Then the guy she liked started talking to me. I-I didn't like him, but Casey thought I was trying to take him from her and she did everything she could to keep him away from me. She had one of her friends, I like to call them her minions, find out what my number was. Then came the texts. Things like:
'You're a man stealing bitch' and things like 'you're a waste of air' and 'go die, no one would care'. The texts kept coming and I eventually convinced my mom to get me a new phone after I threw that one against a wall and it shattered. So instead of texting, she got physical." I ended up spilling out everything to him. Everything that she did to me last year, and even the silly string trick this year. Tears dripped off of my face and made a puddle on my lap and on my blanket as I described the day she cornered me and beat me. I covered my mouth and hugged myself as my body began shaking with sobs. I cried harder as I realized I was doing all of this in front of Zack. I was supposed to make him feel better, not worse. This movie night was a total fail. I covered my face with my hands and my sleeves were soaked within seconds. I couldn't wipe my eyes fast enough and the tears wouldn't stop. Then Zack picked me up. I felt his hands behind my knees and on my back. He lifted me up onto his lap and held me close, dabbing at my eyes with his sleeve.
"Daija, hey, don't cry. You said it yourself. She's not worth crying over. I can't believe I actually dated that...that monster. I'm sorry Daija. If I was here last year, I would've done something. Made her stop. But, princess, crying won't make it better. Just let it go okay? Let it go." I shuddered against him.
"I-I can't," I stuttered, "it hurts Zack. It r-really hurts." He stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth.
"Shhhh, you can Daija. Just let go. Don't think about Casey. She's a monster. You can't let the bad guys win. Did the expendables let the bad guys win?" I giggled slightly at his movie reference and sniffed.
"No."
"Exactly. Bad guys go away. You have to fight the pain. I know it hurts, I know, but you've got to let it go. You survived right?" I nodded slightly. It felt like she had murdered me violently inside, but the feeling had faded over the summer. "Good," Zack continued, "so now its time to take a deep breath and forget about it. Let go." My chest ached and my eyes stung. The tears were slowly stopping and I closed my eyes, trying to let go. I remembered everything she had done to me. Then I remembered my dad. The night I told him I hated him and cried while apologizing.