Falling Apart

c h a p t e r e l e v e n

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I recommend playing this song on loop for this chapter.

I love love. Love is a great thing. It's everything I want, everything I need.

Everything I have to have in order to survive.

"Aubrey! Aubrey! Look what I just found!" I shout out at Aubrey.

She's sat on the floor writing a letter. She looks up at me, a great smile spread on her face, looking down at the picture I'm showing her.

The one of mommy and daddy on their wedding day. Mommy is wearing a long tight white dress and daddy is wearing a black suit.

Mommy is looking at daddy with a smile and her eyes are beaming. Daddy is looking at the camera, no emotion on his face.

Does daddy love mommy? Why does mommy look at him like that? I wonder what it's like to look at someone that way.

"Where'd you find that, Mer?" Aubrey asks, a smile still on her face.

"In daddy's office. Why is she looking at him like that?" I ask curiously

"Because she was in love, Mer. And one day... you'll love someone like that, and so will I"

I pull the picture away, looking at the letter she's writing.

"What are you writing?" I ask, ignoring her statement.

She looks down at the letter, sighing softly.

"A letter" she looks back up at me, "mother used to write love letters to father. So I'm writing a letter to the person I'll one day love"

Why is she sad?

"Do you want to be in love?" I ask.

"So much. I want to get married and have children and-

She stops talking, looking at me, smiling. "Forget about it. It's just a ridiculous letter that means nothing. We do not need to be thinking of love at such a young age. You're only seven, Mer"

I remove that memory from my mind. 'I'll love someone like that'

I always had that one spoken line from Aubrey stuck in my mind. I had been hopeful to fall in love, I loved love.

I still love love.

Only now I'm married to someone who doesn't love me nor do I love them. I have hope one day both will, but for now. I don't love the man I married.

I continue swaying with him in the dance floor. A smoke machine creating a large circular cloud below us as bright light shine above us, making us the spotlight.

It is a royal wedding after all.

We continue dancing. Neither of us looking at each other, no love or chemistry between us. Just tension.

A crowd of people surround us in a large circle, leaving us space to dance. Cameras all over us and the spotlight frustrating me.

Both my arms are wrapped around Elias's neck and both of his are on my waist. My head is on his chest and my eyes are closed.

I breathe in and out, feeling the music everywhere in my body. It's almost like a electricity shot up my body.

I open my eyes, noticing Aubrey watching us, a smile plastered on her face, tears rolling down them.