Dog Boy

28

I watched Jackie all of class. After Mr. Dun's annoying stunt, she seemed to thankfully do a bit better. I was really worried about her. Granted, I'd be scared out of my shoes myself if I were wearing any, but even so, I felt like I could barely hold myself back from looking pathetic.

It felt a bit unfair. When someone turned into a werewolf in a movie, the fear was that they would go on a horrible rampage, becoming a badass monster. I however, wanted to go into the fetal position and cry.

Despite the strain of everything around me, class continued as normal. True to Mr. Dun's semi-joking warning, no one paid much attention to us. People did glance our way - but I tried my best to put myself in their place. This was something so strange to them. I'd've been making glances too.

The bell finally rang. One class down. I shrunk my tablet and put it in my pocket, standing up and looking to Jackie. She looked calm, but a storm lurked in her eyes.

"You going to be okay?" I asked.

"I don't know."

I gave her a quick hug. "You can do it. What class have you got next?"

"English. What about you?"

"Coding."

"At least everyone will be looking at their tablets."

"Yeah."

We walked out of the room together, and once outside, looked into each other's eyes once again. Jackie wore a frown.

I smiled the best I could, and gave her a short kiss.

"I'll see you at lunch."

A faint smile formed on her face. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then turned away from me, disappearing into the crowd.

I wasn't sure I'd ever felt such a strong longing for someone in that moment. I'd been around Jackie so much lately. I had started to feel empty when I wasn't with her. But now she was out in the cruel world, rather than the safety of her own home.

As emotion passed through me, I realized then that I loved her. Even as I thought it, I questioned it. I was only eighteen, and Jackie was the closest I'd ever felt with a girl. I wasn't sure if I knew what loving someone really meant. But I decided it didn't matter. At that moment I felt closer to her than anyone in my life.

People passing gave me odd looks as I stared off into space. I came to, and was drawn out of my deep thoughts, back into reality. Back into the changed existence I now lived.

Most of my coding class was hard to get through. Thankfully it wasn't because people were staring at me. There was another canis guy in my class, who'd become a chocolate brown lab. Even with another person to divide the attention, it didn't seem like people were really interested in staring.

What made coding more difficult rather, was how difficult it was to concentrate. I had a lot on my mind, as I started to think about my future. It was prompted by thinking about how canis would change everything, but it bled into long held anxiety about whether I'd ever succeed in a career. I'd said I wanted to go into coding, at the same time hating math. Eventually though, I was able to push away enough of those far future concerns to get the day's assignment done. 

The bell finally rang, and I found myself wagging my tail, which I quickly stifled. I was excited to be with Jackie again, and I found it hard to contain that feeling of relief. Right there I could've let my tail go wild and not cared in the slightest what everyone else thought - but I knew most people would not be used to seeing it, so I restrained myself for the moment.

When I got to our usual spot in the cafeteria and hugged Jackie again, I could tell that she felt that separation too. It was so short, but it felt so much harder than before. The eyes of the world bore down on us - but we had each other.

"You did it," I smiled as I maintained our hug.

"Barely."

"You'll adjust," I said.

She pressed her cheek against my chest. I scratched her behind one of her ears until her tail wagged slightly.

"I don't know how I'd have been able to do this without you," she whispered.

"I don't either."

We enjoyed the embrace for a bit longer, and then sat down. It was a small thing, but sitting down in the booth on the same side as her threw me off. It was a weird, but somehow the everyday little changes that sent that reminder - "you have a girlfriend" - felt more odd than the more special moments we had.

"Has... Douglas seen you since you changed?" Jackie asked.

"Only through my tablet. I've asked him if he wanted to do something before today - but he always had something - or said he wasn't feeling like it."

"I haven't talked much with Wendy either," Jackie said. "I talked to her once over the phone. It wasn't much more than her letting me know she was thinking of me."

I sighed. I wasn't looking forward to seeing my friends again. Talking to them over phone had been difficult enough. There was such a heightened sense of dread with confronting people that knew you after you contracted canis. One of my aunts had briefly come to our house - and she had looked at me like I had failed our extended family or something. Everything that people expected of me had changed forever.

"Hey."

I looked up, and saw some guy I didn't know looking down at me.

"Um, can I help you?" I asked.

"Yeah," the guy said, "you're in our spot."

"We've been in this spot this whole year."

I glanced around, noticing that most of the good seating in the room was filled. The guy had two friends with him.

"I don't think so," the guy said, "I've been in this school the whole year and I don't remember seeing any dogs in the lunchroom."

I stood up. "Look dude, I don't know what you're trying to do, but you're going to have to find somewhere else to sit."