Dog Boy

19

A door opened. I came to, my mind feeling groggy. There was a dull pain all around my face.

"Oh."

I blinked the sleep from eyes, trying to discern who had spoken. It was my Mom with some breakfast.

And I had been sleeping next to Jackie in her bed.

"Oh gosh, Mom, I swear, nothing happened."

Jackie was roused from her own sleep, and a look of horror came across her face.

"It... it's okay. Just... I'm  happy that you two are getting along, just please... don't get too comfortable."

My mom made brief small talk, asking how I was doing, before leaving surprisingly quickly. I glanced to Jackie, where she was crunched up with her arms folded, looking anxious as ever.

"I'm so, so dumb," she said. "Why did I let that happen? What if it had been my mom instead of yours?"

I chuckled. "Well it's not like my mom was particularly enthused either."

"Aughh," she rubbed her hands against her face. "I just... why..."

"I felt good last night though," I smiled. "I wasn't thinking about everything for a bit."

A faint smile came to her face. "Yeah."

Jackie leaned in to examine me. I leaned back, a bit startled.

"Matt... I think that you're developing a muzzle."

"What?"

I got off the bed, and went into the bathroom, and sure enough, there it was. It was only just starting, but my face was beginning to noticeably push out. Great. I had grown somewhat used to how I looked, but the changes obviously were not over yet. I turned my head, looking at my jaw from the side. I just... all of this stuff never started feeling run of the mill. It was always deeply unnerving with every new change. 

I briefly ran my padded fingers across the soft fur on my face, and then went back outside to find someone else outside with Jackie.

"Good morning Matt," Melina said. I noticed that she didn't have her bag with her that she used to do checkups with.

"Morning." I stretched, resisting the urge to reach up and feel my face again.

"I've got some different tests that we need to do today, so you're going to have to follow me. Who wants to go first?"

I fidgeted with my fingers, feeling their pads. "Um... like... leave the room? Is that... like allowed?"

"Yes," she said, "we need to do this, so who's going to go first?"

Jackie pointed to me before I could get a word in edgewise.

"Matt it is then," Melina said, "c'mon."

I shot Jackie a look. She jumped up on her bed and started playing Stardew. I took a deep breath, and proceeded to follow Melina out of the room.

I hadn't thought about, after all that had happened, how alien it would feel to leave that isolated space. After living in that bubble for so long, my mind was having trouble remembering that the world was of course, bigger than the small room. 

And then we started passing people. My fur prickled on end. My tail tucked between my legs. I felt exposed, like one of those dreams where you're at school naked - only it was real, and felt worse. My mind was in a tug of war between painful embarrassment and morbid curiosity, glancing to and away from the people who were staring at me. 

"Just keep walking Matt."

"Sh- sh- should I have grabbed a - a mask or something?"

"No," she said, "you are no longer contagious."

I followed her down a large multi-story hallway, with big paned windows. It felt refreshing to be in such an open place - but then... people were everywhere. All of those piercing eyes... those very human eyes.

And I was an anomaly. A twisted creation of science. Some of the people I passed gave what seemed to be more sympathetic looks - fleeting attempts to show some kindness. It was... just plain horrible.

"We're here," Melina said, leading me into a lab. She directed me to sit in a plastic chair.

"What... test do you need to do?" I asked her. I glanced nervously around as I saw other people working. They put their heads down as soon as I made eye contact.

"Drawing some blood," Melina said. 

"I... couldn't you have done that up in the room?"

She looked up at the ceiling, rolling her shoulders. "I guess. They said I could bring you down here though, and I thought it might be good for you to stretch your legs."

She looked away from what she was doing on the lab counter, and back to me. "Your... very furry legs."

"That's not very nice."

She gave a wry smile as she pulled out a syringe. "It was an observation. I hope that you can handle harsher words than that."

I sat up straighter. "Oh I can... and I will. I just want to set a precedent that I don't like having people point out... that I'm different."

"Sorry Matt, but you kind of are. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

I gave her a "I'm very sure there is something wrong" look.

"Roll up a sleeve, whichever one you prefer."

I rolled up my left sleeve. Her mouth contorted as she felt around the fur on my upper arm.

"Huh. Guess I didn't really think through that it would be harder to find the right place."

"Is that... bad?"

"I can feel it out," she reassured. 

She put an elastic band around my arm, tightening and causing the muscle to bulge a bit more. She felt again, pressing gently as she searched for the right place. I breathed deep, and looked away as I felt it go in. It only took a moment. 

"That.... wasn't too bad," I said.

"You aren't donating blood," she said, "we're just analyzing it."

"Oh, okay."

Melina emptied the syringe into a tube, and then wiped my arm off with an antibacterial wipe. As she did so, my eyes wandered around the room - and I saw a familiar face speed quickly into the lab.

"Dad!"

He met my eyes, and I felt a stab of embarrassment. He had not seen me in days, and the state I was in. He walked slowly up to me as Melina finished up.

"Gosh...," he looked into my eyes. "What did this do to you? I... Matt... I'm so, so sorry."

"Dad, it's okay."

"No, it absolutely isn't. This is my fault. And even now, I've gotten so embroiled in working on this, that I haven't gone up to visit you at all, and - "

"Dad, it's alright. I'm... I'm fine. I know you're working as fast as you can to help me, and help everyone else."

He stood back up straight, glancing over as Melina packed up her things. 

"Our work at least... is going well," he said.

I perked up. "Like what?"

His smile tarnished somewhat. "I'm working on helping you," he said. "But for now, people who've already changed are proving difficult. It appears that it's been in waves, where the earliest forms of the treatment are breaking down first - but some with the early mass-market forms of the treatment aren't changing at all. Human physiology is so complicated. The good news at least is we've made a lot of headway in deciphering the problems with the widespread versions. Hopefully we should be able to prevent a lot of people from changing."

"That's great Dad."

He leaned down and hugged me, briefly hesitating, then embracing me more fully.

"I'm sorry Matt," he said. "I'm going to keep trying. I will do everything I can to help you. I know that some around here are saying maybe we'll figure this out a decade and a half from now, but I'm not going to give up."

"I appreciate it Dad," I said, ending the hug, "but focus on the others first. Not everyone has a dad who worked on the treatment to help them."

"You're right." He gestured to the door. "I have a moment, I'll walk back with you to your room."

I got up, carefully to guide my tail through the hole in the back of the chair, and followed him. The other people in the lab made eye contact with me. They obviously didn't know what to think of me. I didn't know what to think back.

"Do you have any idea if they can let us go home yet?" I asked as we walked out into the hallway.

"Soon," he said. "Next few days I hope. But just be aware, you're going from quarantine here, to quarantine at home."

"Still much better."

"Have you been okay up in there?"

I sighed. "Ups and downs. I know she's only up there because the other patient rooms are full, but I'm glad that Jackie is there. She... she and I have had some talks about all this."

"I thought that you and Jackie didn't really get along?"

I glanced out the large windows as we passed through that big, main hallway. The snow was still on the ground, the sky still grey, but the sun was visible, leaving a sparkling shine on the cold ground.

"We didn't," I said. "But... well, I feel like I've gotten a lot closer to her."

"Oh?"

"She... she's needed some support through this. She's helped support me."

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. "Mom said she found you two sleeping together."

I shook, turning and casting his hand off. "It - it, it wasn't like that, I promise Dad, I - "

"Just... calm down. I... trust you. And I'm glad that you two feel close. Just... restrain yourself, and respect her space."

"If I wasn't respecting her space, I get the impression that she would punch me."

Dad chuckled. "She must like you then to be willing to be that close to you."

I felt myself blush. "Yeah. Yeah I guess. Um... Dad?"

He glanced back to me as we started going up some stairs. I pushed aside the distraction of more people staring at me as they passed us.

"Jackie...," I started, "she... she... I don't know how to put this."

"She... likes you?" Dad guessed.

"I... guess. It's just... ugh, she... she likes me in a... certain way."

I'd whispered that last part, and that drew Dad's suspicion. "Matt, like what I said before. Be more cautious in the future. It is - "

"Dad," I said hushed, though still upset, "that's not what I mean. She just... ugh this is weird. She's... into... this."

I gestured at my transformed body.

"Like... the way you look now?"

I nodded sheepishly.

"Okaaay," he said. We continued up the stairs, and I could tell he was thinking very carefully. 

"Dad."

"Hm?"

"She... she likes this. She... she likes... not being human."

He stopped as we reached the top of the stairs. "I... I hadn't really thought... well, that anyone would... feel that way. I guess I should have expected it with all the... diverse, let's say, people in the world, that there'd be some."

"You think she's really weird."

He puffed out a breath. "Yes."

"She doesn't want to change back."

He raised an eyebrow. "I... I guess I did expect some people to maybe think it was a fun novelty - but only if they could experience it for an hour or something. Not... not like that."

"I... I probably shouldn't say much more. She... she confided in me and I feel kind of crappy telling you."

"It's okay Matt. I won't tell anyone - including her mother."

"... what if you come up with a cure?"

A perplexed look came to his face.

"Like...," I said with nervousness, "would you force her to take it?"

He slightly smiled. "No, I wouldn't. If someone did, I'd do what I could to stop it. If it isn't going to harm others, it should be personal choice... even if I think it's very odd."

"Thanks Dad. I just... she has so much emotional stuff going on... but she seems genuinely happy like this. I don't feel like I understand it fully... but she likes it nonetheless. And it seems like me supporting her in it... that it's also made her happier."

My dad slowly began walking again, a heavy look in his eyes. I noticed then how tired he looked as he looked down at the floor with a furrowed brow.

"Matt... do you trust me?"

"Yeah Dad, of course I do."

"You'd feel comfortable talking with me about difficult things?"

"I mean... yeah. I don't know exactly what you mean. It's a bit hard for this to be very private out here."

Looking around, there weren't nearly as many people on the second floor. The hallway we were in was empty.

"Matt," Dad turned to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. "Do you... feel the same as Jackie?"

I jolted. "No, why would I... ugh, why would I want this?"

He dropped his hand. "I just... I don't know."

I once again glanced around -  like there might be some invisible spirit lurking on the ceiling waiting to hear embarrassing, incriminating talk.

"I guess what I can say...," I steadied my breathing, "that it hasn't felt as bad at times like I thought it would be. The changes feel bizarre and embarrassing, I shudder at the thought of going out into the world like this... but... it doesn't feel completely awful. Some of this... it does feel good in a way. I can smell and hear really well... and well, I'll admit, wagging my tail does feel kind of good."

I wagged it once or twice. He stared down at it.

"Okay... Matt. Just... I'm glad that are feeling more calm and relaxed... just remember - you are a human being. This is not who you are. Don't forget that."

I swallowed. "Okay Dad."

We were almost back to the room. I'd felt a distinct difference of tone in that. In talking about Jackie, he'd attested that he was okay with it. But when it was his own child, it was different. Apparently to him, much different. I loved my dad, and I knew that he was not the type to be super controlling of his children... but there was something in there that felt... I wasn't sure.

I didn't know why I felt discomforted by this. I didn't want to be a dog. I wanted to be myself, my real  self again. But there was Jackie. She would be alone. Even if I felt my feelings grow for her, and they went somewhere... she would stay this way. There'd be a divide between us. We'd be the "inter-species couple."

Somehow that felt... really... unsatisfying to me. I didn't like the idea of staying this way, but the alternatives didn't feel better.

We arrived back at the room, and my dad called for Jackie to follow him to the lab. I gave Jackie a blank look. She returned the expression, with some amount of confusion. They left.

I sat on my bed, dwelling on my strange new life, and all the convoluted problems that it had created.