Dog Boy

46

Jackie couldn't think as she sat in the car. All she was capable of was crying. Her tears streamed down the fur on her cheeks, falling from her face as the car bumped along the road. The drops were large enough that she felt she could hear them as they hit the bottom of her jacket. She'd been certain as soon as she saw Seth, as soon as she'd heard him speak, that he had been untrustworthy. Turns out her fixation on watching him like a hawk had ultimately led them to lose him.

Of course Seth had been smart enough to misdirect anyone who attempted to follow. Of course he would've used deepfaking to make body doubles of him and Lucas. Now Seth had Lucas, and Matt and Ashley. They were long gone. Seth had gotten everything he wanted.

And now Jackie was alone. She felt that darkness drawing back in her, that hopelessness. It was the same twisted up knot of depression and anxiety that had crippled her before she'd come to love Matt.

She cried harder. Matt.

Ever since she was a child, she'd known Matt Hewitt down the street. He was just another kid in the neighborhood, who liked playing cowboy, and being a small bit of a menace. She hadn't been friends with him, not until high school when she'd come into his friend group more - and even then she had viewed him as immature, self-centered...

But he had changed. Going through this crisis she'd realized just how much there was to him... and how little there was to herself. She shook. Matt would say that wasn't true at all. She wished that she could believe the lies that he told her.

A deep chill ran through her. No, Matt was right. She was far too hard on herself, and she was only eighteen. Most people her age weren't out doing things that shook the Earth, and that didn't make her any lesser.

Jackie had started to feel more confident in herself because of Matt. She had stopped being ashamed that she was a furry. She'd started actually being honest, and showing others that she liked being canis. Despite how weird she knew she was, Matt had loved her anyway. With him, Jackie had started feeling like maybe there was hope in her future. She'd started looking forward to her new self.

She'd started looking forward to life. Life with Matt. Having a family... even if those kids had floppy ears and little tails.

That was gone now. She would never find someone who cared about her like Matt. She'd only been able to open up to him out of the sheer crushing hopelessness that had been hitting her at all sides. She... she had seen who he truly was then. When despite all her fears to the contrary, she opened her heart, and rather than crushing it... he had comforted it. He had comforted all the hearts he could.

Then the universe took him away. Whether it was the random cruelty of an uncaring world, or punishment from some vengeful God, Jackie just felt like she couldn't take this horror she was living with. Her mind just couldn't process that somehow, Seth had won.

Everyone in the car was silent as they drove. She did not know where they were driving to. Probably back to the Lucas's work.

In the silence... those scornful voices of her past filled the void. Those anxious voices that her time with Matt had stamped out... or so she thought. Her inner demons were still there. She had let herself believe that people could love her - the actual, bizarre, and weak person she was deep down.

But then... then a different inner voice came. She imagined Matt sitting right beside her.

Not that Matt who had complained about something during group activities, not that Matt that had seemed to her like a child... not human Matt. Dog Matt, with his blanket-like fur and warm brown eyes.

She imagined him next to her... holding her. Letting her know that it was going to be alright. She knew that if he was here, he would say that. What else would he say? - she thought.