Put You Down (Jerry Cantrell x OFC) (Alice In Chains)

Chapter 5

Sitting on the couch next to Jerry, my body curled up to his as his arm is around me, comforting me. The smell of him, the scent of cedarwood and slight hints of sage from his cologne that I've come to know quite well in my time with him.

He stays with me all night and I fall asleep on the lush sofa with him.

No sex, no flirting this time. Just respect and admiration from him to me and certainly from me to him also.

I lay next to him on this sofa that is large enough to for us both side by side, my tear stained cheek resting on his chest as we drift off.

Thinking of Danny and what I lost and who we both lost, always sends me into floods of tears, but now I have someone to confide in that isn't a family member or a best friend (although he is starting to feel that way), it feels even more raw.

I question myself frequently. Is this what Danny would want for me? Am I moving on too quickly? Maybe it would be better if I were to stay single for the rest of my life?

All these questions but no answers, and no one has them.

I feel myself stirring as my eyes begin to open, adjusting to the light peering through the windows.
If feels like just moments ago we were talking and then falling into a slumber.
Somehow it's now morning.

I lift my head slightly and look up at Jerry who is still asleep.
His soft eyes sweetly relaxed, his mouth parted slightly, and his hair and beard glistening as the sun shines into the room.

I smile at how peaceful he is. This hard rock, heavy metal Messiah who shreds on the guitar, looks so calm.

I sit up slightly and rub my eyes.
Noticing the black flaky ink on my fingers, I realise I slept in my make up. I must look like a K.I.S.S. reject at this point.
I move slowly and gently as not to wake Jerry from his restful sleep, and my bare feet eventually touch the fluffy red rug on the floor.

I stand and walk to the nearest bathroom and lock the door. I walk to the mirror and my soul dies a little seeing the state of my face.
My mascara and eyeliner are smudged everywhere, the marks where my tears fell now making the skin on my cheeks feel tighter, my messy hair.

How on earth a rich Rock Star who is known by billions and sells out his tours, finds me the slightest bit attractive is a mystery.
Surely he would have supermodels adorning the halls of his home but he doesn't. Although before me and him started what we have, I had seen tall and slender, beautiful women with him when I was doing the Housekeeping. I just assumed that was his type. The type that look effortless, like they haven't even tried to look that way. It takes me a while to look human in the mornings with the help of make up and coffee.

I wash my face with some water and sneakily look in the cupboard to find some face wash, which I use to remove the last remnants of make up.
I pat my face dry with a towel and unlock the door, walking out to the hallway.

I walk back to the lounge to see Jerry gone from the couch.

"Jer?" I call, looking around.

I wander to the kitchen and see him brewing some coffee.
A smile forms on my face as I see him take two cups from the cupboard.

"Morning." I say, walking over to him.

He turns his head and sees me.

"Hey..." he replies, turning to me. "I won't ask how you slept...that sofa does no favours for the back." He states.

"Actually I found it pretty comfortable and I slept okay. Just a lot going through my head." I say. "You?"

"I would have preferred a bed, but last night wasn't about me. I wanted to make sure you weren't alone, after what you told me." He says.