Murderous Desire {Dust x Reader}

I'm Sorry, Killer

Trigger Warning: This chapter dabbles heavily in self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and they're pretty graphic. You've been warned~

~(Y/N)'s POV~

I walked with Cross around the castle, my nerves starting to get the better of me. "Hey, (Y/N)? I'm gonna go check the basement. You check the bedrooms. Just knock and walk in- We all do." Cross teleported away, leaving me in a corridor of doors. I knocked on the first, no response. I opened it and saw pictures of Sans and Papyrus. There were even some with me and Aliza. Sans wasn't in there, though.

I left the room and knocked on the next- no response again. I opened the door and saw a room with a mattress on the floor and a beanbag. There were blue strings holding up lights, a small bookshelf, and an analog tv. There was also a handheld phone. I already liked this room. I looked around briefly, but left. I knocked on the next door and guess what? No response. I opened the door and saw a small office with comfy chairs and a bookshelf.

I knocked on the next door, opening it into a room with a mattress with yellow stains on the ground. A leather jacket with a fluffy hood was hanging up on a closet door, with tennis shoes on the ground. What a slob...I tried the next room, with no one answering, again. When I opened this door, I came face to face with a skeleton, one eye a purple triangle and the other with a white circle around a white triangle. "Uh, sorry..?" "It's okay , um...what did you want?" "Oh, I'm looking for Killer." The skeleton shook his head and walked out with me, smiling.

"I'm SwapFell Sans, the real one. Not that phony, high-heel wearing slut bag...no, I'm Blackberry!" I snickered at how someone so short and cute could have such a potty mouth. "I'm (Y/N), nice to meet you." Blackberry walked with me to the next door, which he kicked open, jeez...another skeleton walked out, glaring. "What do you want, you little fatass?!" "I'm looking for Killer, you pretentious douchebag!" "Well he's not here, no go dust yourself!" I started giggling at how funny this encounter was. The new skeleton seemed to realize I was there.

His face turned light red and he smiled nervously. "I apologize, human. I'm Raspberry, SwapFell Red Sans. You know, the better  SwapFell." The two almost started fighting before I interrupted. "I'm (Y/N), nice to meet you, Raspberry!" "No need for the 'berry' part, it's a long name. You can call me 'Razz' if it's easier." "They won't say your name because you're a loser! They totally say my full nickname!" "As if!" I snickered and offered a kind smile. "Thank you both for your help. I should keep looking, though..."

"Of course, let me know if you need anything else, human." "No, they're gonna tell me because I'm the best SwapFell Sans!" "No you're not, you rat!" I walked off and knocked on the next door, opening it to see a room with white and black theming everywhere, with X's everywhere. "Cross's room, definitely." I walked to the next door and knocked, hearing nothing. I walked in, as I had been when I saw Killer...covered in blood.

"K-Killer?" He looked up, a singular white eye in one of his sockets, tears the color of red falling down his face where the black ones used to be. His wrists were slit all the way up to the crease of his elbow on both arms, but it seemed he was still cutting on his left arm. I rushed forward and tried to grab the razor blade, cutting my hand a few times in the process. I finally got it away from him and pulled his arms away from himself and towards me.

There were scars on his bones that were nearly impossible to see from all the blood- that must be from last time. While I was wondering if I should clean them and then apply pressure or the other way around, Killer began sobbing. "I-I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry..." I pulled him into a gentle embrace, texting Sans to get Nightmare and Cross to the room besides Raspberry's. It wasn't long before Dust, Sans, Cross, and Nightmare were running into the room. Sans had asked me to hold Killer so he could clean the cuts.

The screams of pain hurt my ears and my heart. The pitch mixed with the heart wrenching sobbing just sat all wrong. I rubbed his back and whispered gentle and kind words to him, trying to calm him. It worked, but he was still sobbing. I felt this unmatched sorrow, something so strong I thought I was going to combust. "Killer, are you alright?" Nightmare was beside me, his hand rubbing Killer's skull. All Killer did was continue crying. "You're not in trouble, Killer. We're worried about you, all right? We're not mad." 

Killer sniffled once, but refused to move. I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Alright, he's all cleaned up an' bandaged." I let Killer go, watching him sit up. He looked so absolutely broken it made me want to cry. Nightmare held Killer's face and turned it towards him. "Killer, please. Don't do this again. I know you want your emotions, but it's too dangerous for you. You end up...you end up like this, and none of us want that." "Y-Yeah you do...I-I'm just a l-liability for you a-all...I'd be better off d-dead..."

Nightmare pulled Killer into his arms, holding him tightly, but gently all the same. "You all can go now. I'll handle the rest." I sat there, watching Killer start sobbing again. Hands under my arms lifted me up. "C'mon, (Y/N)...he's gonna be fine, Boss's got 'em." Sans walked me out of the room, Cross shutting it behind all of us. Dust was the first to talk. "Are you okay, (Y/N)?" "Am...Am I  okay?! What about Killer?! Who cares about me- what about him?!" Cross sighed and turned away, avoiding eye contact.

"(Y/N)...he'll be fine, he's-" "No, Sans, he won't  be fine! What's wrong with you?! He's your friend! You're supposed to-" "(Y/N), ya gotta calm down-" "CALM DOWN?! NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU, FUCK ALL OF YOU! SOME FUCKING FRIENDS YOU ARE!" I wrestled my arm from Sans and ran off, hearing Dust and Sans calling for me. I didn't care where I ended up, I just wanted to get away from them. And I got just that when I found the front doors of the castle.

I pushed one open and shut it as soon as I was out. It was completely silent. The outside of the castle was overgrown with vines and plantae, looking abandoned. I began walking towards a hill with a tree stump, a golden cloth on top of it, tied down somehow. I looked down and saw a Orange-Yellow sun on it, glistening slightly. I decided it wasn't important enough and walked on until I came across a small town, the building wrecked. 

I walked through it, finding nothing living in there except nature. I found an abandoned little shop where I sat down, curling up and thinking. Thinking about Killer's screams and cries, about how little everyone seemed to care. About how normal  they made it feel. What fucking psychopaths. As the tears rolled down my face, I was filled with Sorrow.

If you were a bit confused by the two SwapFells, you can check out my Discord Server, where I have a huge post explaining the differences! https://discord.gg/eXeBXhrbrg

Date: 10/16/22 2117

Word Count: 1257