Shot in the Dark (An Eddie x Y/N Story)

Love Hurts

I spent most of last night crying, not getting much rest. When I wake up this morning my throat is sore and when I go the bathroom my face is still puffy and red. I wash my face, letting the cool water rest on my closed eyes. I put on my moisturizer and sigh at my reflection. I've got dark circles under my eyes and I still look exhausted, but I can't be bothered to put makeup on today. I drag my brush through my hair and I trudge back to my room. I decide to wear black leggings and a baggy hoodie over a plain black tshirt. I slide my feet into my converse and pad into the kitchen where Dustin is already waiting, rinsing out his cereal bowl.

He looks over my face with a sad expression and offers me a granola bar but I shake my head, refusing to take it. He stubbornly tucks it into a side pocket of my bag before we head outside and wait for the bus. We are silent the entire way to school, but I notice Dustin continues to peek at me from the corner of his eyes and I choose to ignore him. When the bus stops my eyes drift over to Eddie's usual parking spot and I see him leaning against his van, watching the driver park. I gather my things and take a deep breath, preparing to face the day. Dustin's hand comes down around mine and I look over at him startled.

"You don't have to talk to him yet if you aren't ready," he says, his voice serious. His eyes burn into mine and I'm shocked at how mature he sounds. "I can talk to him for you, but just know you will have to talk to him eventually Y/N." I smile softly and run my thumb over his knuckles, trying to reassure him.

"I know Dusty," I say. "I'm not ready yet but I can handle it." He regards me for a moment longer before nodding and pulling away, letting me get up and get off the bus. Once my feet hit the pavement Eddie surges forward pushing off the van and coming towards me. I turn the other way, holding the straps of my bag and walk quickly towards the school. I move expertly through the crowd using my shoulders and arms to push through the crowd. I hear Eddie calling my name behind me but I duck my head. I dread having to see him all day long. I move down the hall into the bathroom and sneak inside. I slide into a stall and close the door, pressing my forehead against it and sighing deeply. I wait there until the bell rings and step out. I know I'm going to be late and will probably be lectured by the teacher but I don't care. I walk out of the bathroom and nearly jump out of my skin. Eddie is still standing outside, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes meet mine and I back up slightly. I look both ways down the hall, unsure what to do and he shakes his head.

"Don't you dare run away from me," he warns coming up to me and pressing me against the wall beside the bathroom door. I bring my hands up to my chest and look off to the side, unable to meet his stare. "I need to talk to you. Please let me explain."

I stay silent and he places one of his hands next to my head against the wall. I still won't look at him and he sighs.

"Look at me," he pleas. His voice is strained and my heart hurts at the pain I hear there. Despite myself I feel a tear slip from my eyes and I reach up and brush it away. All of my insecurities jumble up in my head and the image of Eddie's lips on Chrissy's swim behind my eyes. His free hand comes up and cups my chin. He urges my head up and I lift my gaze to meet his. His eyes are pleading as he searches my face and I feel more tears fall from my eyes as I gaze up at him. His face saddens as he moves his hand to wipe them away, his own mouth trembling slightly.

"It's not what you think," he whispers and I shake my head, exasperated.

"How would you know what I think?" I ask and he closes his eyes for a moment breathing deeply.

"I want to know what your thinking, all the time. I want to know your desires and your dislikes. I want to know what brings you joy and what makes you sad. I want to know everything Y/N. I always have because I love you." Eddie whispers and my breath catches in my throat. He looks into my eyes and I lose track of where we are. I reach out and grab a hold of his shirt, blinking away my disorientation.

"It didn't look like you loved me when you were kissing Chrissy in the woods." I accuse and he pushes some of my hair out of my face, holding the side of my head in his palm.

"Chrissy asked me to buy some weed. I told her to meet me there so we wouldn't get caught and she told me she has been thinking of me differently since I helped her cousin in gym class. She kissed me. Please understand that I don't want Chrissy. I don't think I've ever really wanted her, I just convinced myself I did. Once I realized I liked you I completely forgot about her and I haven't look back."

"So the other girl you liked?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Is you," he answers, exasperated. He runs a hand through his hair and I cross my arms over my chest, hugging myself and waiting for him to continue. "When I realized I liked you I went to Dustin and we tried to come up with a way for you to open up to me. You were still leaning heavily towards disliking me and I wasn't sure how to change that. Dustin said you like to help people and he suggested getting you to help me with a fake relationship. He said I could see if we had a connection better that way and I could see if we are truly compatible. So I gave it a try and you agreed. I just wanted so desperately to be close to you. I wanted to win you over so you would see that I'm not this disappointing character and you can give your heart to me. I wanted you to like me back."

My chest hurts and my head throbs as he talks and I squint my eyes shut and shake my head. There is so much information being thrown at me and I don't know how much more I can take. He grabs my shoulders and looks at me closely our faces inches apart.

"Sweetheart, please believe me when I say that I love you. I don't want anyone but you. This has just been a huge misunderstanding."

I sigh and look down at the floor. I can't think straight. I reach up and wipe at my eyes again and shake my head.

"I can't do this right now, Eddie," I whisper, looking up at him and my soul hurts at his shattered expression. "I'm not ready. This is all too much." I push past him and I head for the doors of the school. I can hear Eddie behind me, but I don't turn.

"Y/N please," he calls. "Talk to me." I push open the doors of the school and head down the steps. I start to cross the parking lot when he catches me by the wrist and I turn, looking up at him.

"Tell me you don't feel the same," he pleas and my heart thunders in my chest. He grabs the back of my neck and shakes me slightly, panicking and my eyes widen. "Tell me you don't love me."

"I can't," I breathe and he brings his lips harshly down onto mine. I fist my hands into the front of shirt as we hold one another. Our lips move hungrily together and I groan against him. I come to my senses first and push off of him making him stumble back. I stare at him breathing hard.

"I'm still so pissed at you!" I yell, tears running down my face and his arms come down to hang loosely at his sides. "What gives you the right to toy with my emotions like that? If you liked me why didn't you just ask me out and flirt like a normal person? For the last few weeks I've been so afraid of losing you I've nearly gone insane with the worry of it! I've tried so desperately to get you to notice me when this whole time you were lying to me! What makes you think any of this would be OK? And then I have to just be alright with the fact that Chrissy kissed you? I understand that she kissed you, I do. But it doesn't erase the hurt I feel at having to see her pressed against you, to seeing her lips on yours. How would you have felt to see me kiss someone else, Eddie?" I breath heavily as I yell at him and I ball my fists at my sides. I'm sure my chest and face are bright red. Eddie looks at me shocked, his mouth slightly agape.

"You say you love me," I whisper. I'm completely sobbing at this point, my face an absolute mess. "But did you actually think about me at all?"

Eddie doesn't say anything, his face the look of utter defeat. I throw my hands up and turn away from him. I walk out of the lot and head in the direction of my house, glad that it's not a long walk and it's early in the day. Eddie doesn't bother following me and even though I need my space my heart hurts. I cry softly the entire way home. Once I get to my door I fish out my key but I fumble and drop it on the steps. It's honestly the last straw and I crumble to the ground, curling up on the stairs and wail loudly.

I stay there until my eyes dry out, my head still resting on my arms. When I lift my head my nose is clogged and I squint in the sunlight. I finally grab my keys and decide to head in before I completely freak out the neighbors. That's all I would need right now.