Finding Immy (Sebastian Vettel)

Only Love Can Break Your Heart

"Is she ok?" Hannah whispered to Joel as they went into the kitchen to cook dinner.   Joel peered back around the door frame to where Immy was sat on the sofa. She was staring at the television screen but he didn't think she was really watching it.  "Was everything ok at the scan? I was expecting her to be all excited like she was after the last one, but she's hardly mentioned it."

"Everything was great.  The baby looked like it was waving at us.  Things could have gone better.   But I agree, she's definitely...off.   She hasn't been the same since Switzerland."

"She really does love him doesn't she?"

Joel nodded.  "I think so.  She didn't even realise until she saw his wife.  I mean she said she thought she must do but it really hit her then."

"I just wish there was something we could do to cheer her up," Hannah said, feeling useless. 

"All we can do is be there for her," Joel said, kissing his girlfriend on the head.   "She deserves better than this.  I swear to God, if I ever see him.... Still, she will come through this stronger, and she's going to be a fantastic mum.  That baby will be loved."

"I'm sure you will spoil it rotten Uncle Joel."

"Me? I have no idea what you're talking about."  He kissed her on the head again. "You ok carrying on in here? I'm going to go and talk to her."

"Of course," she said smiling at him. 

"I love you."

"Love you too."  Joel headed back into the lounge and sat down next to Immy.  He lifted her feet up from where they were on the sofa and put them on his lap.  "So, the scan went great didn't it?" he began.  Immy grunted.  "Not gonna lie, I'm kinda gutted you didn't find out the gender.  Any gut feeling what it is? I think it's a girl.  It's going to be a mini you."  Immy stayed silent.   "So do you want to share your shortlist of names?"
Silence.   "Talk to me Immy.  This isn't you.   You've been so excited about the baby.  I know Switzerland was a
blow, but nothing has changed.   You still have me and Hannah, you're still going to be the best mum ever."

Immy's head shot round. She glared at him.  

"Everything has changed!" she exclaimed. "I believed him! He said his marriage was dead.   I really believed him.  I knew he was still with her but I thought that what we had, although brief, was real.   Turns out I was just one of many."

"And that's on him, not you! Immy, this isn't your fault."

"And knowing he's looking forward to his new baby with her...that's a real kick in the teeth.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for everything you're doing for me, but it hurts Joel.  It fucking hurts.  I should have its father by my side."

"Yes you should, but you are strong Immy, you can do this."

"I don't think I can Joel."   Joel froze.  What did she mean?

"Immy?"

Immy looked at her best friend, her eyes filling with tears.  She'd had a thought in her head ever since leaving Switzerland and she couldn't shake it.   Today after seeing the baby at the ultrasound the thought had become stronger.  "I'm thinking of giving the baby up for adoption."

Joel's face drained of colour.  "No Immy, no, no, no.   You can't do that.  You're just feeling emotional and down.  That's not surprising given the situation, but you love the baby."

"Yes I do, and that's why I think it would be better for it to have two parents that can give it a better life.  What can I do for it?  I'll have to stick it with a childminder while I work all day. I can't afford to stay off work.  By the time it's three months old I'll have to leave it.   And what if I'm like them?"