First responder, second love

Chapter 3

   "Are you serious, how could they just let her drive on that fucking ambulance? What the hell is wrong with them?" I look at Malia's face and I see her getting angry. She stands up from the chair and starts walking around the room.
    "How can they keep that kind of information for themselves?"
    "Malia, they weren't allowed to share any kind of information with the hospital workers, not even the Chief of surgery, was allowed to know anything about that patient," I hear Holly say in the hope to calm Malia down a little.
    "That's fucked up. He would have never put Sam on that ambulance with a man like that, with a monster like that."
    "I didn't say it was acceptable. But if they have said anything, they probably would have lost their jobs."
    "Well, Sam almost lost her life," Malia says angrily.
    "They couldn't have known he planned an escape."
    "Why are you standing up for them?"
    "I'm not Malia, but they didn't have a choice. They must operate by the rules."
    "But they fucked up, big time," Malia says loudly, and she steps closer to Holly. She crosses her arms in front of her chest and keeps her eyes on her friend.
    "Can you stop, both of you," I say to them, and I try to sit up straight.
    "Sammy you were sitting next to a murderer," Malia says to me, and I see how knowing this scares her, even though I am safe.
    "I know that, but I'm still alive."
    "She's right, you know. It's insane to think that she was in that ambulance with a man who did those horrible things, but it's over," Alex says. He's still standing next to my hospital bed, he never left after telling us everything. When I look at him, he almost looks calm standing there. I can barely believe it's him. Alex isn't the person who keeps his cool, who could calm others down. He is normally the one you can expect to punch someone, or to get in a serious fight, even. From Malia, I expected a reaction like this. She can react very passionately, especially when it's about people she loves. Malia struggles staying calm in situations like this. Holly is, on the other hand, the one who tries to calm everyone down when she needs to. She can keep her cool, and that's what makes us the perfect roommates and best friends. Because I'm somewhere in the middle of them. Right at this moment, I'm trying hard to not let this stuff affect me. I am trying very hard to act like I'm okay, like I'm just okay. And I believed I was for a moment. When they got me out of that ambulance, on solid ground, I felt safe again. For a few moments, I was proud of myself, for fighting to get out of that dangerous situation. But now I feel the same fear again, because I don't know where that man is and if he's planning on staying away.

After my friends calmed down, they went to get something to eat. Alex went back to work, which means I am alone with my thoughts for the second time. The television is on, they're playing some old Marvel movie, but I'm not really watching. I can't focus my attention on the movie, which is normally no problem. I kind of love watching as many movies as possible, together with my friends.
We had a lot of movie marathons when Ben was alive. He was kind of a junky when it came to movies, especially when Timothée Chalamet was playing in them. I still think my boyfriend had a little man crush on the actor. And I thought it was cute. He never felt ashamed to tell me when he thought some guy was attractive, and he liked hearing me talk about how beautiful a certain woman was. There was no shame between us, ever. I never thought I would find someone who was so accepting of me, so open-minded. And I am glad I did.

I try to sit up in my bed and I put my legs over the side of the bed. I look at my legs for a moment, and I'm glad they brought me my pajamas. I didn't feel comfortable being in that hospital gown. Like, does anyone ever? I get out of bed slowly and put my feet in my slippers. I walk to the door very slowly, but when I'm there, I don't even know where I wanted to go. Do I really want to walk around the hospital in my pajamas, in the same hospital I work at? I want to turn around to go back to my bed, but I hear a familiar voice say my name. I look throw the doorway and see one of the firefighters stand next to the nurse's station.
    "You can't be here, and I definitely can't give you that information."
    "Please, I just want to know how she's doing."
    "You said that already, but you're not family." I look at the firefighter standing in the hall. He's still wearing his work-clothes. His T-shirt with the logo of the firehouse is a little tight around his chest and his arms. You can see he works out, and maybe that's required for the work he does. Saving people is part of his job, and you need strength to get people out of dangerous situations, like mine.
    "Please, her name is Sammy, I don't have a last name, but she works here," he says to the nurse.
    "I know who you're talking about, but I can't tell you anything. You're not family."
    "Please," he says again.
    "Look, you did your job, and she must be immensely grateful for that. But I can't give you any information about her. You're a firefighter, and you've done your job. So, let it go, man," the nurse tells him.
    "But I... I want to...," he stutters.
    "Leave, go save lives," she interrupts him.
    "What's going on?" I hear someone ask. I can't see who is standing behind the firefighter, because he is too tall.
    "This man was just leaving," the nurse reacts immediately, and she looks at the firefighter with a serious face.
    "Yes, I am." He turns away from the nurse's station and starts to walk throw the hall.
    "He kept asking about Doctor Kinsley," the nurse says to the red-haired woman. And I admittedly recognize her. Holly's long red hair hangs in subtle waves over her shoulders. Normally she wears it in a high ponytail, but apparently, she forgot to do that after she left my room.
    "Is he the one who got her out of that ambulance?" I hear her ask the nurse.
    "I think so." At then, I see her almost run after the firefighter. They're too far away for me to hear anything they're saying. The only thing I can see is Holly giving him a hug. And I feel a little smile on my face. Maybe it's inappropriate to hug a firefighter, but that's Holly. She's a hugger, when people need one or deserve one. And the firefighter who saved my life definitely deserves one.

    "You're out of bed," I hear someone say beside me. I look away from Holly and the firefighter and see Jo standing beside me. Her eyes go over my whole body, from my feet to the top of my head.
    "I'm okay," I say to her before she gets a chance to ask. I look towards the place where Holly was standing, but the firefighter is walking away.
    "What are you looking at?" Jo asks, and her eyes follow mine.
    "Nothing, nothing at all," I say, and I step back throw the door. I go to the bed and sit down on the right side. Jo steps in the room and takes place in the chair beside me.
    "What's going on?" she asks. I look at her and I can see that she's worried, about me. And I don't blame her.
    "I don't know. That firefighter who saved me was here. I saw him standing at the nurse's station, and he was asking about me."
    "He was probably curious how you were doing."
    "Is that normal, firefighters checking on people they saved?"
    "I want to say no, but sometimes we just want to know, right. Just how we want to know how our patients are doing after they get released from the hospital." That's sounds understandable. As a doctor, I like to know how people are living their lives after I saved them. But we almost never hear from them after they leave our care. When they walk out of the hospital, it's up to them, again, to make the best of it. As a first responder, you don't even know if they're going to make it most of the time. You just need to have faith and hope that the doctors at the hospital know what they're doing.
    "But why me?" I ask after a few minutes, because I really want to know the answer. Why did that firefighter come to the hospital to check on me? He had to have known that they wouldn't give him any information about me. He's not my family, no friend, not anything. But he saved my life, and I must thank him for that, even though it's his job, and he does it daily.
    "I don't know Sammy. Maybe he just felt bad for you."
    "Yeah, you're right. I'm overthinking." Jo grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze.
    "Maybe you get a chance to thank him someday," I hear Jo say, and I nod my head. Jo got me a cheese sandwich, and she stayed with me during her lunch break. We didn't talk much; we just enjoyed each other's company. After she left, I walked around in my room for a while. But eventually I needed to take some rest, because my head was hurting again. So, I decided to get some sleep, which wasn't that hard. My whole body was tired, and my eyelids were getting heavy again. So, I got under the sheets and closed my eyes.

I was laying in the hospital bed with the sheets up till my shoulders. My body needed the rest, and my head was thanking me for giving it. But after a little while, I heard something coming from inside my room. I opened my eyes, but it was dark in the room. Apparently, the sun went down, and I was surrounded by darkness. There was only a little light coming from the gap in the doorway. I try to sit up straight, and I start to look around the room. The sound is getting louder, but I don't know where it's coming from. I focus my hearing and try to figure out what the sound is, and suddenly I know. The thing I hear is the sound of someone breathing, very heavily, and it's coming from somewhere in this room. And right when I realize that, I see someone standing in the far corner of my room. He or she is standing in the dark, so I can only see a silhouette. My heartbeat is getting faster and I feel fear entering my body again. I pull my legs up to my chest, in an attempt to make myself small. The person standing in the corner steps out of the dark, into the little light coming from the hall.
    "How... how... how did you get in here?" I ask while the fear is taking over my body. My heart beats fast and loudly; it feels like it could jump out of my body at any second now. The person on the other side of the room comes closer, and with every step he takes I feel myself getting smaller. I want to scream, but I know that he would never let me do that. He is here with a reason, and I know that I'm in danger again. But help is nowhere to be found in this hospital room. I'm all alone with the man who raped and murdered two young woman, and he could make it three at any second.