First responder, second love

Chapter 24

    "It's Sammy, they're bringing Sammy in!" someone yells loudly in the emergency room. The young man almost runs across the room, before he gets stopped by one of the residents. The Doctor crabs the shoulder of the intern, and looks at him.
    "What did you just say?" the resident asks him.
    "They're bringing in Doctor Kinsley, I overheard Doctor Hunt talk with the people on the ambulance. They're bringing her in any minute now."
    "They found her, they found Sammy?" is all the resident says before he runs to the doors. He will stay there, outside the doors, until she arrives safely. He really thought that he lost one of his best friends, and would never see her alive again. But what if she's not okay, what if she's hurt badly? He, just like everybody else at the hospital, has no idea what happened to her, what she had to endure. What if he indeed is losing his best friend? He can't handle losing people, never did. There were to many people, who he cared about, who left him behind. His parents weren't made to take care of children, his siblings hated him, and don't forget Izzie. Sammy was the one who took his anger and self-pity away, and not even by sleeping with him. She became his friend, study buddy, and wing woman. Sammy is the one who made Jo and him happen, and he still owes her for that.
    "Is it true?" some familiar voice asks behind him.
    "They found her," is all he says. The woman gets next to him, and lays a hand on his shoulder.
    "It will be okay Alex, she will be okay," she says to him, and he really hopes that Jo is right.

After a few minutes, the ambulance arrives at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. The doors open and I hear familiar voices. Do I hear Alex? They roll me out of the ambulance, through the doors of the hospital. I indeed heard Alex's voice, because now I see his face above me. They're taking me to one of the emergency rooms, and I hear the doors close. Is Evan still here? I couldn't hear him cause of all the doctors. Where is Evan, is he okay, am I okay? I can still feel me being in my own body, but it's hurting. I feel the deep cuts, the big bruises, and my body still feels like it's on fire. I feel burnt, broken, and filthy. I still feel his hands on my body, his fingers touching my skin. I can't seem to get the images out of my head, I keep seeing his face, and hear his eerie laughter. I feel my heartbeat going faster. I need to get out of here, I need to run. My body starts to move, my arms are moving in the air, and my legs started kicking. I feel people holding me down, voices are talking to me, trying to calm me down. But it doesn't help, nothing does. I need to run.
    "No, no, no!" I start yelling, but they're not letting go. That makes me only more scared, and I start kicking harder. The pain gets even worse, and I start screaming. My whole body burns, and tears are rolling down my face.
    "Sammy, I'm here," I hear all of a sudden. My eyes are looking around the room. Where is he? "Sammy, you're safe," I hear him say, and I feel someone grabbing my hand. "You're safe," he says again.
    "Evan," and right before I lose conscience, I see his face, his friendly face.

When I open my eyes again, I immediately realize that I'm not in the emergency room anymore. I'm lying in one of the patient rooms, a private one. Staring at the ceiling immediately brings me back to the first time I lay in one of these. The time I went down in the ambulance, right after a prisoner escaped. If that never happened, I would have never lay in here again. I would have never been hurt, broken like I have never been before. I thought that I was at my lowest when I lost Ben, but that isn't true anymore. Tears are rolling down my face again, while I stare at the ceiling. Why am I still alive?
    "You're awake, thank God," I hear a woman's voice say outside the door. I hear multiple footsteps coming in. "I'm so glad you're alive," I hear Malia say. That makes me wonder, how do I feel about that? Am I glad, was I hoping to stay alive? I know that there was a split second where I decided to fight for my life, but am I still capable to fight? I still feel pain, I still feel dirty, and I'm scared it won't ever go away.
    "We're so sorry," Holly, who's standing next to the bed, says to me, and she crabs my hand. I look at her without saying anything. "We're so sorry for what happened to you, Sammy," she says with tears in her eyes.
    "We thought we lost you forever," Malia says. They sound very emotional, and relieved to see me again. They were obviously scared to lose me, scared for me, because they had no idea what was happening. They love me, and I love them. They are one of the reason I fought for my life, I fought to come back. But can somebody tell me which version of me came back, because I don't feel like myself.