First responder, second love

Chapter 23 (Buck)

    "Why are you not taking this seriously? Why isn't anyone?!"
    "Sir, I can assure you, we are doing everything in our power to...,"
    "So, where is she? Where did that monster take her? Because I think you know just as much as I do, which is nothing," I start yelling to the detective, to anyone who can hear me. I feel useless, desperate, and scared. I'm scared they're never going to find Sammy alive, and at the same time I feel like they're not doing anything to take those feelings away.
    "The whole team is working hard on finding her location, I promise you."
    "Don't promise me anything, you don't have the power to keep that promise."
    "We just need a little more time."
    "Which Sammy doesn't have," I react while I feel the anger in my body growing again. I ball my fists and feel like screaming to the detective for the second time. Before I can say anything, I feel someone's hand on my shoulder.
    "Come with me Buck," a woman's voice says to me. I know that staying in this room yelling doesn't help to find Sammy, so I decide to follow her.
    "You can't continue getting angry with them, there just doing their job, and you know that."
    "But Athena, they have still no idea where they're keeping Samantha. They say they need more time, but Sammy doesn't have time. Maybe they already ki...,"
    "Don't finish that sentence, Evan Buckley. We don't know that," Athena interrupts me. She sits down behind her computer, and starts typing. I stand there in the room, no idea what I'm even doing here. Why did she ask me to come with her. "I'm working on something with a co-worker of mine, and we think we're close," Athena says all of a sudden. I look at her while she turns the screen from her computer my way. On the screen are a few locations, marked with a red dot on a map.
    "So, what are you saying?"
    "That we're closer."
    "Closer than what Athena? How is it, that you guys have those locations, and they have exactly nothing? What are they doing?" I ask her frustrated, because I don't know what to think any more. They are the ones who have to find Sammy, but there acting like they have no clue what they're doing. Sammy's friends are going crazy, because they're losing a sister. Malia went to tell Sammy's dad about what was going on, and that went very bad. His first reaction was blaming Malia and Holly, which is insane, and he knows that. Malia said that he felt to the ground, bagging something or someone to not take his daughter away too. He bagged for not hurting her, and letting her come home where she belongs. I can't help but feel guilty when I hear things like that. Because I feel responsible for her abduction. She was supposed to stay with me that night, but I scared her away. I hurt her by accusing her of cheating on me with Eddie. Why did I do that? "I need you to find her Athena," I say while I feel tears filling my eyes.

     "I think we have him," I guy walking in the room says. "I had a look at the locations we have, but most of them are gone or not his property any more. The only location we still have is this one," he says, and he points to one of the dots on the screen. At that moment he sees me standing in the room too. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?" the man asks.
    "Mister Buckley was just leaving," Athena says, and she looks straight at me.
    "But I have to be there, I have to be there for Sammy when you find her," I react without thinking.
    "Evan, leave the room please," Athena says again. I nod my head and leave the room, but I'm not done yet.
    "You're working on my nerves, you know that?"
    "I don't give a dam; I need to be there for her."
    "This is not even the first time; you've been in this car, acting like the rules don't apply to you. Then it was your sister, now your girlfriend, what's next the world?"
    "I need to be here."
    "No, you needed to listen to me, and just go home."
    "Athena, I need to be there for her," I say, and I look her in the eyes.
    "It is not your fault; all of this is not your fault." We're silence for a couple of minutes. I don't know what to say to her, I do feel guilty, because it is my fault. If she never left my apartment that night, he would have never taken her. Even though Athena wasn't happy about me jumping in the car next to her. She wasn't about the stop de car, waiting for me to get out. Because she knows there was no way I would have.
    "Let's make one thing very clear Buckley," she starts. "You're not getting out of this car, never, only when I say so. You got that?" she asks, and looks almost angry at me. I don't say anything, but only nod my head. "I need to hear you say you understand me."
    "Yes, I understand."

The drive to the location is a long one, and it's slowly getting dark outside the police car. There are not a lot of lampposts where we're driving at the moment. It's getting darker by the second, after we went off-road. There are a couple of police cars driving behind us, and those are the only lights we can see through the woods. Some of the cars are even filled with some FBI agents, Athena told me a while ago. They're the ones leading this missing.
After driving through the woods for a while, we're stopping, and the cars behind us do as well.
    "This is the moment where you do exactly what I asked you to. So, you're not going to move, and you're definitely staying in this car." I nod my head. Athena opens the car door, and gets out. I watch them talking to each other, and making a plan. While I'm still sitting in the car, feeling useless. I need to do something, but I promised Athena I would stay put.
    "Please be okay, please be alive, Sammy," I say to no one.

I've been waiting for a while now, and haven't heard a thing coming out of the surrounding woods. But all of a sudden, I hear what I think is a gunshot, and my hand goes admittedly to the handle of the car door. I need to leave the car. What if she's hurt, what if he shut her? I need to find her; I can't stay here, and I open the car door. Without even thinking, I run through to the woods looking for Sammy.
    "Please be okay, please be alive," I whisper to no one, but then I see movement.
There is something standing right in front of me, I feel it. I take my phone in my hand, and use the light. "Sammy?", I hear myself asking, because I can't believe what I'm seeing. "Sammy?", I ask again.
    "Evan, Evan, Evan," is all she says. I walk up to her, and I admittedly see the blood on her face.
    "Sammy, are you hurt?" I ask her.
    "Evan, Evan, Evan," she keeps saying.
    "I'm here, Sammy, I'm here. You're safe, you're safe," I start repeating myself, to reinsure Sammy. "Come, I will bring you to the police car," I say, and I want to put my arms around her, but she takes a step back. "Sammy, it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you."
    "Do you really think she can trust anyone anymore?" I hear a male voice ask. I see Sammy's face changing, her eyes get bigger, tears are rolling down her cheeks, and her body starts to quiver. "I destroyed her forever, she's nothing now," the male voice keeps talking. I hear the clicking sound of a gun behind me. "Didn't expect to meet you, firefighter Buckley."
    "Just let her go," I start begging. How the hell does he know my name, is that all he knows? He knows that I'm a firefighter. Did he really stalk Sammy, did he stalk me as well? He probably wanted to know everything about her life, that includes me.
    "You know I can't let her go; you're smarter than that Buck." What the hell! Buck, he calls me Buck, only my friends call me Buck. Is there something he doesn't know? And then I feel the point of a gun against the back of my head. "I'm sorry to have to tell you, Buck, but I have no use for you being alive." All I can do is look at Sammy, at her face, the tears rolling down, washing the blood away. I'm so sorry Sammy, I'm sorry for being useless, for not being able to save your life, I'm sorry for not being your hero.
    "I love you," is all I can say to her. Right when I think my life is over, right when I think I'm going to leave this world, leaving her behind, I hear a gun shot, but I'm not feeling any pain. I stay frozen for what feels like a decade, before I hear Athena's voice asking if I'm hurt.
    "Samantha Kinsley, a lot of serious bruising and cuts, a couple of them seem quite deep, and they need to do an internal exam," the woman of the ambulance says to her co-worker. Internal exam? Does that mean that he, that he raped her? I feel my legs getting weak, and I want to fall to the ground, but I feel someone getting me right before I can.
    "Go with her Buck, get on that ambulance with her, and be there for her," I hear Athena says to me. I look at her right before I walk up to the ambulance to get in the back.
    "I'm her friend," is all I say, and that's enough. I get in the ambulance and take a seat next to the Gurney where they put Sammy. I look at her, but don't know what to say. I have no idea what she's been through, all I know is that she's hurting right now. Sammy stares at the ceiling of the ambulance, her hands are shaking, and tears are rolling down her face. The woman on the ambulance takes her vitals, but Sammy doesn't react. I look at her hands, still shaking nervously, and all I can do is hold it. So, that's what I do, I hold her hand.