THUG NEXT DOOR

chapter 16

A WEEK AFTER

CYNTHIA

Me and tyrese are sitting in this beautiful resorts , across from each other watching the view. I can tell tyrese isn't too focused on anything tho , it shouldn't affect me but i actually want his attention. I crave it . Ever since his sister was mentioned in the chaos we were caught in , he has just blocked the whole world out. He was even more distant than when we first met , the day his parents came to our house. I couldn't take it anymore , so I put on my huge JVC headphones . The thing with these headphones is , they literally melt away your pain and problems; Even if it's just temporary. The beat from every song start from the headphones, goes straight into your blood stream . It takes over your mind, control your heart , it just takes control and your body it's willing victim . Music is my way out of the world , that's how I block away the world. Sometimes I get so into the music , I start doing things with my hands, seducingly touching my body , or crazily threatening people undirectly , or I simply just look crazy , mind you unaware of that fact . I adjusted them on my head , so that each side is directly in my ears . I turned on the music and the weeknd _wicked games started playing. I , as usual sing along with it . ( I edited it to my own pain, only the chorus is the weeknd's original)

He left me all alone

he don't love me no more

and he acts like he don't know that

stare in my face and lie about that

he just need some ass

think i'll jump for cash

and he emptied out his anger

on me and left me there bleeding

Bring your love baby

i can bring my shame

bring the drugs baby

i can bring my pain

i got my heart right here

i got my scars right here

bring the cups baby i can bring the drinks

bring your body baby

i can bring you fame

so lemme mofucking love you

while you mofucking hurt me

Tears started running down my eyes, my voice got shaky around the second verse , I just started squeezing myself, as tears stream down my face. I made no sound, I forgot tyrese and I were in the same room. I stopped singing for a few minutes and let the song run ahead of me , while I catch my emotions. I started singing the song from where it got while i stopped to catch my breath.

so tell me you lo.o..ove me

only for tonight

only for tonight

even tho you don't love me......

I trembled a little bit as the tears run down , and my body shook with emotions. I palmed my face with both hands and continued singing .