Six months to live (ZhanYi)

5

It's another Saturday and I'm here waiting for Zhan ge. I wonder what happened to Cheng; I haven't heard from him since he came to see me. But I'm not giving up hope. I'm in a foul mood today. Zhan ge has never regretted taking my place in prison and it is eating me up. I just want him to talk about it.

Wang, Zhan ge called me as he usually does. He sits on the chair opposite me, with his emotionless face, and I wonder what happened.

Zhan ge. I smiled at him, but he didn't return my smile. It got me worried.

"Why is this every Saturday again?." he asks.

"You'd rather be in your cell?" I asked, stretching my hand to hold him, but he just stared at it. Something definitely happened.

"Honestly, I guess it doesn't matter. It's all equally bullshit." I don't care. Zhan ge answers.

"You don't ?" I question, leaning into the table with my hands folded. This is the first time in 5 years plus he didn't hold my hand.

Zhan ge gives a slight, but noticeable eye roll. "Yeah, that you're there doing that, and I'm here doing this." my Zhan ge doesn't sound like this.

"Sitting? We're both sitting?" I know what Zhan ge means, I do, I just want him to say it out loud. To face it. "Why does it bother you so much?"

"It doesn't." he shrugs.

"Clearly it does, why don't you talk about
it?

"Why should I?" Zhan ge pushes back.

"You said you don't care, right? So it doesn't matter, you have nothing to lose, literally." I know it wasn't the nicest thing to say, but I still think it'll work.

Zhan ge looked at me with contemplation in his eyes. I know that I pushed a certain button on Zhan ge. One I didn't want to push.

Why did you say it was you and not me? I asked.

I don't know what you mean. He said coldly.

"Yeah, I thought so too," . "None of that is going to change. You can either sit and let it eat you up, or you can let it go." I said.

Zhan ge looks at me with pure annoyance. He's not liking what am saying, it's clear, but of course, he wouldn't acknowledge that. Maybe he doesn't even realize why I'm annoyed in the first place.

"I don't want to cross any lines, Zhan ge, but there's no way it doesn't eat you up inside. You're in prison for a crime you didn't commit, and you're sentenced to death, and you're miserable. Your life fucking sucks and you're broken inside." I can see Zhan ge visibly tense up.

"Stop," he says through his teeth, his breathing becoming heavier.

"Zhan ge, it's your life, do what you want, but at least be honest with yourself," "Don't you regret being here while I'm out there wrapped in someone's arm?" I know I should stop but the words just keep coming out of my mouth. "Don't you regret meeting me?" "Don't you wish you never saw me that faithful morning? " Part of me is scared but the other part of me is fearless.

"I said stop!" Zhan ge stands up, his chair loudly sliding back as he does so, and he slams his hands on the table. There's fire in his eyes and I can feel the anger pour out of him. "Shut the fuck up!. You can't just walk in here and act like you know me. You don't!" he screams at me.

I was genuinely shocked, it was not what I expected Zhan ge to do. Maybe I underestimated him.

I swallow, trying to stay calm. "Zhan ge, please sit down."

"Don't tell me what to fucking do!" He shouts, slamming his hands on the table, causing me to flinch.

"Zhan ge-" plea...Before I could finish, two guards walk up to him, cuffing Zhan ge's hands behind his back and dragging him out of the room, leaving me sitting in my chair, frozen.