Six months to live (ZhanYi)

21

Yibo started shifting in his sleep, rubbing his eyes with one hand, he stretched the other to touch Zhan but he wasn't there. Flicking his eyes open, he jumped out of bed. Zhan ge? Yibo called him several times running from room to room until he ran outside and the patrol car was gone.

Yibo felt his heart breaking all over again. As he made his way inside. He entered the kitchen and was surprised to see his phone. Picking it up he pressed the home screen button and a video popped up.

Saying this, I already realize I will regret it forever. Zhan chuckled nervously. However, the joy you brought me was unlike anything I had ever experienced from any other man, and it came at a time when I needed it most. You brought out my best qualities simply by being yourself. I believed that our love would endure the test of time, and nothing could separate us. It deeply hurts me that we cannot be together, and I know my heart will be scarred, and yours too. I will forget mine once I'm gone, but you have to bear the loss for the both of us and I am sorry.

As Zhan took shallow breaths, he felt as if he were dying, but it was his heart that hurt the most. It had been shattered into a million pieces. His mind was racing with questions but he shrugged them off and wipe the tears from his eyes.

Nothing in life made me feel as terrible as I do right now. I'm dazed with a throbbing pain in my heart. It is as if my entire world has collapsed and as if my body is about to explode. I'm numb from crying so much. I had many sleepless nights, which made it difficult for me to function and I would cry at random times throughout the day. For a long time, we were in love, and a section of my core will always remember that love. "I used to cry myself to sleep at night. Sometimes Mr. Lee let me cry on his shoulder while I rant about why I can't be with you." Zhan sniffed and wipes his tears.

Yibo, I'm sorry I had to leave the way I did but I can't bear to see you on the run. My heart won't take it. You are too precious to me. As much as I love you and want to be with you, I can't put you in harm's way. I know you will think I am selfish or don't care about you, but I promised Cheng I wasn't going to run away. I know it will be hard to deal with at first, but you have to be strong for me. "Live for me" remember me in your memory, do everything I wasn't able to do. It might be hard but you're still young and beautiful. Someday, someone will sweep you off your feet and love you for who you are... Your love is too beautiful not to share. I love you and I don't regret being here. Love isn't something we give or receive; it's something we nurture and grow, a bond that can only be formed between two people when it comes from the heart. Unfortunately, we could not nurture the love, and our connection is broken beyond repair. And for this I am sorry. Forgive me for my actions, words, and thoughts, and live a peaceful and harmonious life. I pray for you to be happy from the bottom of my heart. I only want the best for you, and I know I'll never be able to provide it. I never intended for things to turn out this way and I will always wish you well in life. I love you.

Bursts of tearing pain pulsed through Yibo's head. His head felt heavy and he could feel dizziness starting to kick in. An overwhelming feeling of dread took over and for a moment he thought the pain would only get worse and worse. Ten seconds passed, then twenty, then thirty, and the pain never subsided. At least it wasn't getting worse, yet.

He was exhausted and unable to focus. While it would potentially be possible to block out the pain, there was no way to block out the exhaustion. Perhaps against his better judgment, he swallowed the pain and continued onward, but taking at least some care to prevent making it worse.

He dragged himself into the bathroom and had a quick shower. Put on clothes and went to Cheng's house. Cheng isn't home and he is not reachable. "How did he call Zhan ge?" He thought before going back to the car. Texted Mr. Han to pick him up, his eyes got blurry as pain stroked through him.

I waited all night, Mr Han said as Yibo entered his car. Yibo, Mr. Han called again but he didn't say anything when he heard sobs. He will take his silence as an answer that his plan didn't work.

Lawyer Yang's office Yibo managed to breathe out in between sobs.

The ride was quiet and Mr. Han doesn't know how to console Yibo, or more like he left him to cry his pain out. When he got to the office, Lawyer Yang's secretary told him Mr. Yang travelled this morning and said that it was urgent.

His heart literally broke and he doesn't know what to do. He doubled over in pain as he tightly grasped his stomach. Ferocious cramps completely crippled him and it didn't seem to stop. He paused for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Please take me home" he Forced himself to talk. Mr. Han just nodded and turned to drive in the direction of Yibo's old apartment.

The drive back home was quiet and Yibo was filled with questions and he was beginning to get angry. Zhan kept his promise to Cheng but didn't keep his own. And when he needed Cheng and lawyer Yang the most they were nowhere to be found. His heart was throbbing with pain and anger. Why does he have such bad luck? Everyone he loved ended up leaving him. Whoever wrote his fate must have had a grudge against his ancestors.

"Yibo got down and walked in, in no time he was in his one-bedroom apartment."

He immediately stripped down as he entered his room feeling suffocated. He pulled the box out from under his bed and opened it. Looking at the sharp silver object in his hand, he took a deep breath and cut anywhere his hand landed on.

It became harder and harder to swallow the pain, to ignore the sensations and the voices telling him to stop. But there was no way he could give in to the pain in his heart, there was no way he'd ever give up. He pressed the blade on his ankles, every movement adding to the barrage of pain, but he kept going no matter what. He doesn't want to feel the pain in his heart. After a while he becomes numb to everything and in a moment of sadness he smiles between sobs. "This could be it, the end" he has never felt numb before so he was happy it could end before he sees Zhan die.

A few hours later, Yibo woke up in the hospital in pain and anger. When he opened his eyes, he saw Mr. Han sitting by his bedside.

Yibo, Mr. Han stood up and pressed the button by his bedside. A nurse and a doctor came in.

Mr. Wang, it's a miracle that you're still alive the doctor said and checked him.

How did I get here? Yibo hissed.

I went to pick up your car and was calling to ask where I should drop it but you weren't picking up and it's unlike you, so I went in to check up on you and I found you in a pool of blood. Mr. Han said sadly. He has been taking Yibo to see Zhan for year's and he feels bad for both of them. He hasn't seen Zhan before but he feels Yibo feels the pain more and it hurt him as he sees the boy suffer.

You should have left me there. Yibo said and closed his eyes to sleep.