Six months to live (ZhanYi)

9

After what Zhan ge said, I've been feeling myself fall faster and harder. An hour and 30 minutes are not enough. I need more of Zhan ge and his beautiful light. I wish I could see him every day.

I know it will not end well. Zhan ge is going to die in four months. It's sad and I can't think about it without tearing up, but that doesn't change the fact that it's what's going to happen if Cheng does not come up with anything, and it scares me to death.

Mr. Lee has talked to me twice about not letting Zhan ge affect me that much, but it's pretty obvious he already has.

Over the weekdays, when I don't see Zhan ge, I feel like something is missing during those days. I have never been the type to miss people. I've also never been the type to even feel anything with anyone at all, but with Zhan ge, none of that is true.

The way I feel when I and Zhan ge hold hands, or when we joke around, or when we have serious conversations, I've just never felt that with anyone else before.

The whole time I and Mr. Han was in the car, I just wanted him to go faster. I don't want to think of myself as desperate, but I am.

"Okay, we're here," Mr. Han said, barely finishing before I jump out of the car.

"Hey, slow down a little. You're not missing anything, we are early." Mr. Han said.

I do slow down, forcing myself not to look like an overly attached clingy person. I saw him just yesterday but it feels like ages.

I did the usual check-in and I was waiting for Mr. Lee or one of the guards to come and take me inside but i have been sitting there for 20 minutes.

"You are early, it's not time for visitors yet," a guard said.

"Why can't I just see him for a longer amount of time? They're not doing anything," I ask.

"I don't know. You can wait half an hour, Mr. Wang. It's not like he's going to die. The guard said.

I gave him a look. "He is actually. Very soon, too." I said sternly.

"Go see him, I don't care. The guard said, knowing I don't know where to go or who'll bring Zhan ge to where I am.

Follow me, I'll bring him to you. A voice said walking past me.

"Mr. Lee, Thank you." I followed him and signed in again. He scans his card and the gate opens. He walked me to the corridors. Go to room 12, I will get Zhan he said and walked away.

I quickly walk in and enter the room.

Zhan ge knocks and slowly opens the door.

"It's one already?" He asks.

"No, twelve thirty. I came early. Is that okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah. He smiled.

"Come in," I say, gesturing for Zhan ge to walk into the room. Zhan ge does just that, closing the door behind him.

"So, how are you today?" I ask, sitting down on the bed with Zhan ge.

"Good," Zhan ge says, moving around a little until he's comfortable.

"Good? I've never heard you say that you're good."

Zhan ge raises his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly to the side. "Guess not."

"Well I'm happy for you. Have you started reading the book I gave you? You like it so far?"

"Yeah, it's different." Zhan ge said.

I nod. "That's why I like it so much. I feel like no other book, at least that I've read. is like it."

"Yeah, I'm almost finished. There are not many chapters, though."