PREGNANT FOR BROTHER IN LAW

3. Thursday's.

Thursday, I think this I the only day of the week that I am excited about. I get to drive myself for two hours. Listening to music and making sure, I arrive at a place on time.  I pack Josh's car at the entrance of the white building. They say it's a psychiatric hospital To me, it's a home for my favorite person who stays here. I leave everything at the gate except for the Marlboro cigarette that I carried. It is expensive but if I get some small cash at the end of every month, I carry one package myself

"Who are you visiting ma'am?" the woman at the reception asks. She already knows what I am going to say but she still uses that question every day when I come in here. I smile and show my white thirty-two her.  "Mathew Morgan."

She writes it down and looks up at me with her glasses that are below her eyes, "What is the relationship?"

"Daughter", I say and I am given the visitor's badge.

So you know, my dad is Mathew Morgan. I don't know why his parents called him Mathew. He is the only thing that I value in my life. He is the reason why I keep on moving in this world. I know he did a lot of things but that doesn't mean that I will have to hate him for who he is. He re_married. No man would have sat put alive for all those years when his wife died. Sometimes I want to blame him for cheating on mum but I am not married yet so I don't know how it feels to live in his shoes. 

The door is opened and I am ushered into a white-painted wall. This wall makes me dizzy every time I step on them. The faint smell of medicine makes me sneeze but I hold it in the middle.  I take look around the room, the Television is mounted on the front part just next to the door, and there is a bookshelf with books. Another rack is situated next to the bookshelf with magazines of all kinds. His bed is near the window and there is my papa, his back is crunched in the seat and slow jazz music is playing in the background. He never misses putting in the jazz to play. That is the only thing he asked for.  He doesn't lift his head when he sees me, he can't.  He broke his spine and got paralyzed from his head to the waistline and most of the time he is in a chair. Confined in his chair, he is treated like a baby. He has to be changed every day, he has to be given food like a child and he has to take in everything he is given even if it is going to kill him.

"Hi, daddy?" I whisper because that is how we always talk.  He giggles and wants to raise his head but he can't. I open the box of Marlboro and cut the edge before placing it in his mouth. Surprisingly, the only thing he can hold without being fed to him is the cigarette. He holds onto it firmly and blows it in and out. I look at his hair, they are grown. Look for the shaver inside the shaving tool in the bathrooms and  I shave him neatly and later trim his beard. This is the only thing I can do for him. I can't do much. Apart from telling him the boring story of my life. Sometimes when he hears them, he is so excited about it and other times he just gives me his face and does nothing.

He looks at me and smiles then looks at himself again. I hate this situation I, whoever did this to him, destroyed him. I have always wanted him next to me but I can't afford the cost of living with him. Mostly I live with Josh because he agreed to accommodate me now that Kendra is gone. I can't live with my stepmom because she will just be making noise in and out.

I turn on the television and we watch our movie together. He loves sci_fi and we were on the magician.  I love how he giggles when an interesting scene comes through.

The way he giggles will make you think that the man sitting here was born like this.

No, he was a strong man, a man who had everything. From companies to vehicles. From bodyguards to expensive dogs. Look at him now, after getting involved in an accident, he had to channel all his funds into making sure he gets better. I even gave up my college fund to make sure he gets better treatment. All his property went to my step_mom who doesn't know anything to do with real estate. She sold them and to some, she lost them in betting. The only thing remaining is a single house where she lives and the men who sponsor her life.  That didn't come as a shock to me. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. But when it comes to my daddy, I was forced to even give out my college find just to help him be in this place where they can take care of him.

The door opens and a nurse walks in. Julia jas always been good to me. She knows that I come in every Thursday and that is the time to ask about his progress.

"Hey Vanessa, how are you doing?"

I smile and stand to shake her hands. I explain to her my life and how I am doing fine. She smiles and says it's fine. She also explains that my dad is doing okay and I have nothing to worry about that.

We catch up in the last episodes of the Magician before I bid him goodbye. It's teary because these are the times that I hate the most. Having only one day to see him because I don't have enough cash to see him every day and spending three hours with him.

He grabs my hand, and even if he can't have a strong grip on those hands, I know it means a lot. He tries to humble something but he can't say it, the only thing he does is place a sloppy kiss on my forehead. A lone tear falls down my cheek and I know it's time to say goodbye. I know next Thursday will come again and I will get to see him.