PREGNANT FOR BROTHER IN LAW

19. Behinds These Walls

"How was he today?"
I was done with the visit. I had to leave early because Xander said we need to be somewhere else. At least he allowed me to stay with my dad, say hi to him and even watch something with him. 

"He is good," I say with my head held low while trying g to think about him. I wish sometimes he could even speak or even say a word. He can not say anything. His body is weak and paralyzed. I wait for Xander to start the helicopter but there was nothing.

Turning around, I found him on his phone. I wondered what we are waiting for. I couldn't say anything, he had every right to do what he wanted.

I turn my eyes to the window and watch the helicopter accends up in the air and leave a small hue of dust behind.  I wish I could fly and leave all my baggage with me. That can't happen I am a human being, I need to face everything.

"You know you can fly it again, maybe it will ease your mind," says Xander while punching some buttons. I looked over at him, the last time I was there things were going too far and I am not planning to have them there. I want to keep our distance. The plan is to get money and leave him alone, I don't want him to be too comfortable.

I shake my head and watch him, his arms work on everything, and his muscles are protruding. It's not like he is trying hard, he couldn't even try hard. It was just an easy thing for him. He didn't go too high in the air, because our destination was not that far. After ten minutes flight, we were brought down into a huge building. As much as I wanted to be afraid that maybe I might get killed, I know that Xander won't kill me soon, not yet. His hands found their way to my safety belt something that I can easily unbuckle on my own.

Instead of opening it up, he lifted my chin to face him. I look at him, the sharp eyes, deep down they were cold, as ice, ready to intimate me but now, they were soft.  I wanted to touch his cheeks, how does it feel to have skin like his?

"Everything will be okay, Vee, don't feel bad. You are trying your best every day," he said while caressing my cheeks. My hands wanted to remove his but my world wasn't ready. My brain looks like it went into a frenzy and was not thinking right. My heart was beating, hard while my legs wanted to slide and open but they were too sticky to do this. My chest moved up and down watching him caress my cheeks while biting his lips. I want to taste those lips again, I want him to ask me to go there and touch those lips with mine, feel the sparks, and allow him in.

A blow of wind brought me back and I quickly shook my head and I get out of his hold looking at him. He gently placed his hands on the belt and slowly removed it.  I don't know where we are going, I just walk with him.

We ascended the small steps and got into a lift. My small summer dress was trying to misbehave but I had to fight it with my hands to stay put.  Xander saw that and carried me while holding the dress. The lift started moving up and I wondered why up and not down. In the lift, Xander never left my hands, he pressed them even though it was just the two of us. The tension between us could be felt. It was not the sexual attraction, it was something else. I wonder if he felt the same as I did. My legs throbbed every time I feel his breath on my skin and his hands placed on my back as if I were a baby wanting to be led by her papa.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. We were at the top of the building. The bright lights and the fresh air were alluring. I breathed in and let the air beat my lungs so hard.

"Come," he said stretching his hands for me to pick. I placed my hands on him and he walked with me. There was a small table in front of me, the table had some trays sitting on them, and there was a big radio cassette sitting on the sides, it was not playing any music. 'Who brought the 1970's cassette radio here?' the scene was fascinating. I am sure this is a different floor. Maybe we got confused. Maybe he brought me to the wrong place.

"I think we are in the wrong place, let's walk back," I said trying to pull his hands that were gripping mine. "We are always in the wrong place, Vee, there is no place I have been with you that was right." At least he now understands. This is the wrong place. I bet this scene was reserved for a man who wanted to propose to his girlfriend. I might as well run out before they walk in. Turning around, I took a step but Xander's hands caught me before I could take the second step.

"Where are you going to?" Xander asks me with a soft calm voice. A voice that wants me back, a voice that is longing. I know that voice because I had used it once on Josh to seek a place to stay in. I look at him and want to open my mouth but his movements distract me. He places his hands on my cheeks, removes some hair from my face, and holds them back with a small bladder from his pocket. He carries them everywhere he goes or they are used for trying money bundles everywhere he goes? "Remember we are in the wrong place."

He chuckles and drops her hands on my shoulders. I look at him, his hearty chuckle wants to drive me crazy at this time but I know that I have to focus.

"Why don't we make it the right place? Everywhere out there is wrong for us, we can't be seen all alone out there, we have to hide our faces, and we have to pretend that we don't know each other but deep down we know what we want. I want you, you know that and you want me, I see it in your eyes as your face turns pink every time I look at you. You blush every second I am near you, who knows but I think your thighs also give you up when I touch you. I know they are sticky and wet and make it hard for you to just walk normally."

Did he have to start this? I thought we were just going to go somewhere, sit down, and avoid all the drama. He knows very well why, he knows that is how it will be.

"You are married, you are my brother-in-law, and the last thing that will ever happen is me and you being a thing, Xander. We will never be together, not now, not ever. Nothing will ever feel right, everything will feel wrong. Your hands in mine on the street and your name will be mastered on every tabloid, my ass will follow, people screenshotting and calling me names. It will never be okay between us. It's wrong, it has always been wrong. I don't think this is right, no, there is no right place."

He breathes in and looks up, I don't know what he is thinking about, but his throat moving up and down makes me giddy while watching it. I want my hands to touch his Adam's but I restrict myself.

"Can't we make this area the only right place? Forget about the world, forget that I am married!" he shows me his finger and he is not wearing his ring. What is wrong with him? Is he already tired?

"Behind these walls, we can be anything we want, out there, I will feel jealous watching you go on with your life while I am stuck."