Delinquent High

Chapter 62

"Brother, can I come in?" sounded a familiar voice from the other side of the closed door.

Wei Wuxian startled and pushed himself away from Uncle Jiang's arms. When it had been just him, his adoptive father and a very silent Lan Xichen in the room, it kind of felt like the outside world did not exist and did not want to break Wei Wuxian. However, with Lan Wangji wanting to open the door, Wei Wuxian was suddenly overwhelmed all over again.

He felt that if the balance of his sanity would be even only slightly disturbed, he would never be able to get himself together. The pieces of his broken heart and soul were being kept together only by a miracle. The slightest gust of air would cause them to shatter, never to be retrieved again.

Wei Wuxian's eyes darted towards the door. His feelings were so conflicting and confusing that no one would ever be able to make sense of them, least of all Wei Wuxian himself.

On one hand, he was terrified at the mere prospects of seeing the door being open and having to face reality. On the other hand though, He wanted to see Lan Zhan. Badly. It felt to him that his former childhood friend – even though he did not have any right to see him, Lan Qiren would come to know about it for sure and do something terrible – was perhaps the only other person in the entire universe he could trust.

Lan Zhan called him by his name, so sweetly and intimately, as if he did not mind anything that he was and that had happened to him. Having his birth name used felt so incredible. Sure, Uncle Jiang and Lan Xichen also used his name, not like Lan Qiren and the teachers who took even that from Wei Wuxian, but it was not the same. When Lan Zhan called him 'Wei Ying', Wei Wuxian was reminded of all the good times they had spent together as young children and it helped him forget the terrible reality. If only for a second.

He remembered that Lan Zhan had used to be his closest confidant when they had been small. Wei Wuxian had used to tell him even things he had never shared with his parents. In a sense, Lan Zhan knew more about him than anyone else. Probably also more than he understood himself right now.

It was still not sure if Lan Zhan had already heard about everything as well and if he still would look at Wei Wuxian with those big and compassionate eyes. But if anyone could give him even the smallest benefit of the doubt and want to listen to his explanation, it was him. Wei Wuxian was finding it hard to believe anyone, thought for reasons he did not even get himself, Lan Zhan was simply so special he was an exception to the rule.

Would his former childhood friend understand Wei Wuxian's feelings? Or had he changed over the years and would instead join the side of the bullies and make his life miserable? Was that why Lan Xichen was proposing for the two of them to live together in a dormitory? Was this all simply another one of Madame Yu's and Lan Qiren's plots? Were they taking away from him his own room, the last place he had felt safe in?

Wei Wuxian's mind was full of dark thoughts. He was terrified but at the same time, he was internally scolding and despising himself. It was Lan Zhan he was thinking about. The young man who had come to find him at the Delinquent High and had asked him if he was fine. It was the same young man who had been waiting for him every single morning before school started in front of the entrance. It was the young man Mo Xuanyu had run to to ask for help for Wei Wuxian.

"Wangji, come in," Lan Xichen invited his brother before Wei Wuxian could reach any definitive conclusion.

Wei Wuxian held his breath, he was completely frozen by his anxiety and insecurities. He was fully expecting that as soon as the door handle would be pushed down, the whole world would fall to weight on his shoulders to finish the process of breaking him.

When nothing like that happened and the only one who came inside was Lan Wangji himself, Wei Wuxian could not keep himself from letting out a relived sob. The ocean of his feelings which had been threatening to get out of control and flood everything in its wake was finally released. Wei Wuxian's hands gripped tightly the white fabric of his blanket and he felt wetness on his left cheek. There was a single tear making its way down to his chin and then falling onto the pristine sheets.

"Wei Ying!" a very worried Lan Wangji approached the bed way faster than would be allowed at the Delinquent High. He was in fact standing next to Wei Wuxian in less than a heartbeat.

Wei Wuxian quickly wiped the tear from his cheek, desperately trying to hide to what extend he was damaged. Lan Wangji did not deserve to be worried for him. He had better things to do. Wei Wuxian was just about to lift his head and look at his childhood friend when everything suddenly clicked into place.

He was convinced that Lan Wangji was here to inform him that he would never accept sharing a room with someone like Wei Wuxian. Who in his right mind would want to live in the same room as a criminal with a dark and terrible reputation? Who would ever want to be associated with him? Even his precious Lan Zhan must see how low Wei Wuxian had fallen and must want to get rid of him like some old broken toy. Would Wei Wuxian be all alone for the rest of his life?

This time, he could simply not continue keeping himself together. He had to get out of here; right now, before anyone realized what he had done and that simply spending time in his presence could be detrimental to their reputation and future.

Wei Wuxian closed his eyes. He would not be able to bear to see understanding bloom on their faces and their features hardening. He would go completely mad if he saw them despising him in the same way Lan Qiren had or mocking him as all the students were.

He pushed himself off the infirmary bed despite his overwhelming exhaustion and aching body. He had to get away, right now. Living a life of a forest hermit was suddenly looking like the best option. At least the police would not be able to find him in the middle of wilderness and sue and imprison him for not finishing his compulsory education. Leaving the world behind seemed like the only solution.

Wei Wuxian's legs were refusing to cooperate. As soon as he threw them over the bed frame and put his weight on them, they gave out under him as if they were two overcooked spaghetti and not a pair of functioning human limbs. Pain shot up from Wei Wuxian's backside and he cried out because of it. He was crying, partly because of his frustration at his weak self and partly because he could not even run away when he had the chance, perhaps this was his last one ever.

"Lan Zhan..." slipped a desperate plea from his lips. His former childhood friend was truly the last person he wanted to lose, he had already lost everyone else after all.

He felt warm hands wrap around him and he did not even struggle as he was pulled closer to a wide chest. He only buried his face in the soft white fabric – so unlike his own uniform – and he let himself go. He did not have strength for anything anymore. He was so tired he could just close his eyes and go to sleep.

So he did. There was nothing he was going to solve in his current state. He needed to have some rest before hearing any bad news or condemning words from Lan Wangji's mouth.