Please Remember Me

Chapter 14

I was walking back to my apartment after work Thursday evening, three days after my discussion with Mr. Blackborne and Kota, when my phone buzzed in my coat pocket. Pulling it out, my brows furrowed when an unknown number flashed at me. I stepped aside out of the briskly moving crowd, and swiped the green button.

"Hello?" I answered confused. 

The silence on the other line lasted long enough that I considered hanging up. Just as I was about to do so, a deep voice echoed into my ear.

"Uh, is this Tulip Beavers?" The voice sounded familiar causing nausea to well up in my stomach.

"Nathan...Yes, it's me. How did you get my number?" My voice was nervously shaking; I obviously knew that one of the guys had given it to him. 

I was too afraid to ask why he was calling me though; I didn't want to be berated again. I don't think I could handle that. Plus I hadn't even decided if I was going to stick around the guys. I wanted to, I really did. But my insecurities continued to plague me.

"Luke gave it to me... Listen, would you meet up with me? I need to speak with you..." His tone was not as confident as the last time we spoke.

"Um...I'm not sure about that-" 

He cut me off before I could continue.

"Please." 

The plea in that one word was enough to tug at my heartstrings. 

I know he didn't like me, or want me around his family. I had no obligation to listen to whatever it was he had to say. Then I thought of the others, and how much I missed them. 

Maybe this conversation would help me make my decision.

"Okay." I whispered my response, worried, but confident that this would be a helpful conversation whether it was positive or negative. 

"Send me a text with where you would like me to meet you."

A twenty minute walk later, I found myself outside of a cute coffee shop. It was called "The Brew Box" and the intimate, cozy atmosphere inside suited the name. Nathan's hair and large form was easy to spot sitting at a table for two furthest from the door. The café had a few customers taking up the other tables and booths, the soft chattering adding to the warm ambiance.

 Nathan's honey eyes were focused on the coffee cup between his hands, not noticing that I had entered. I walked up to the counter, able to order a small hot coco quickly since there was no line. My body was stiff waiting for the moment Nathan would look up and see me, but he never did. 

He seemed to be a million miles away, unaware of his surroundings.

Once I had my drink, I slowly made my way to where he was seated. It wasn't until I sat my coffee onto the table and took a seat, that Nate came out of his thoughts. The man looked exhausted. He had heavy bags under his eyes and his skin was more pale than when we last saw each other. On the right side of his cheek there was a large blue bruise with the lightest amount of yellow surrounding it, that made me frown. 

That was definitely not there last time I saw him. I found myself wanting to ask if he was okay and what happened, but held my tongue. I would not be the one to begin our conversation. I settle for leveling him with a carefully crafted stare, waiting. His honey eyes seemed to search my face, guilt tinted, with a frown marring his face.

"I'm sorry. For everything I said. I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. I'm so sorry." His voice was thick with regret.  

His gaze dropped back to the table once he finished. 

I stayed silent, trying to process how I felt. I wasn't sure if Nathan was apologizing because he truly felt sorry for what he said to me, or because his family was undoubtedly upset with him. I wondered if that bruise was related to this situation. 

I hoped not.

"You were protecting your family, even though you did say some hurtful things." 

Nathan cringed at my words. 

"But, I forgive you for that. Are you sure you mean this apology though? I don't want you to feel like you have to accept me, because your brothers want to be my friend." My voice was strong leaving no room for lies. 

I held my gaze steady on him, not wavering when his met mine. He took a moment to think, which I appreciated. History taught me that when people responded too quickly, they were often lying or hiding something.

"My brothers have been upset with me, and pushing to make things right with you. However, that isn't why I am apologizing. If I didn't mean it, then I wouldn't have reached out to you. I really am sorry." 

I nod my head accepting his words, before sipping at my drink. 

The heat stung my tongue, but kept me grounded.

"Okay. I forgive you." Relief seemed to flood Nathan's body, as his tense form relaxed, his eyes lightening.

It was easy for me to forgive others for their actions, even when they caused me pain. That didn't mean I forgot or moved on fast. His insults were too similar to my mothers; his ability to hurt me when he barely knew me was terrifying. I was still wary of him because I feared he could turn on me in a heartbeat. I understood his protection over his family; I even wished I had that for myself. 

However, it meant that should anything happen to unsettle any of his brothers, he would not be on my side. In fact, it was likely he would force me out of their lives again. I couldn't trust that his apology meant acceptance. 

After all, my parents had apologized many times in my life, but they never changed.

"Thank you. I know you might not trust me; may never trust me. I will work to earn it. But please don't let that stop you from seeing my brothers or trusting them. They really miss you..." He seemed determined, and I didn't know how to feel about that. 

I wasn't sure if trusting him was a risk I would ever be willing to take. I stayed silent, sipping my drink occasionally, allowing our conversation to lapse into silence. It was easy to decide to stay friends with the men who had wormed their way into my life. At least for now, Nate didn't seem like he would interfere or make it uncomfortable. Clearing his throat, the man shifted in his seat, looking at me expectantly. 

It seemed he wanted an answer to an unasked question. 

I raised my brow, waiting for him to voice it.

"So, will you go back to being their...friend?"

"Of course. I've become quite fond of them all."