Please Remember Me

Chapter 9

Christmas season was upon the city the minute Thanksgiving ended. 

I spent this year alone for Thanksgiving, as I had for the past five years. My birthday was on November 24th, the same as Turkey day. It just so happened that my 24th birthday was the last time I would willingly spend the holiday around my family. It was the day I realized that they no longer needed, or wanted, me around. 

That was 6 years ago now; I was officially 30. 

No one ever questioned my absence. My sister would usually call to wish me best and update me on her life. 

It was the only call I ever looked forward to.

I kept with family tradition though, and decorated my apartment with what little Christmas decorations I had the day after Thanksgiving, when I got home from another agonizing day at work. Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. 

During our childhood, the Christmas season was when everyone in the house was the happiest. My most cherished memories stemmed from this time of year. Because of this, I continued to try to find joy in the holiday. I put up my medium sized Christmas tree, which was only about five feet tall, in the corner of my small living room to the left of my TV. It was decorated with blue and white lights. 

All of the ornaments I collected throughout the years were hung up haphazardly; all various shades of blue.

The skirt of the tree was a silken royal blue with silver trim and snowflake patterns. It was designed after my favorite color and one of my favorite Christmas songs: "Blue Christmas". I hung my childhood stocking that my grandmother knitted on the wall beside the tree. Around the apartment I put up and placed the rest of my decorations. The final touches being the new pine scented candles I put in each room. 

It was the only time of year that my apartment didn't feel desolate.

Close to ten at night, I finished and settled onto my worn couch. I turned to the hallmark channel to watch whichever holiday movie they had playing. I wrapped myself in my precious grey fluffy blanket gifted to me by my sister last Christmas; it was the warmest blanket I owned and massive. Yesterday, my Thanksgiving dinner consisted of a turkey sandwich and some potato chips. It was pitiful, but I hadn't minded much. 

I spent most of the day asleep anyway. 

I received texts from Gabe, Sean, Silas, Victor, North, Luke, and even Mr. Blackborne wishing me a very Happy Thanksgiving and that they hoped I was enjoying my time with family. I told them the same.

I didn't bother mentioning that I was spending the day alone.

 I had a feeling they would not be accepting of that detail. I didn't want to receive a pity invite to the family celebration I'm sure they had. I found it difficult to fall asleep last night, instead spending most of it staring at the alarm clock beside my bed.

Once the clock hit 8AM I decided to get up and make a steaming mug of strong coffee. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my day. The bitter temperature outside made me lean easily towards spending  it inside and wrapped up on my couch. 

Three hours later, my coffee was cold and stale sitting on the table, while I stared at the show playing on TV. I wasn't really watching it. I was lying on my side, covered almost completely by my blanket, and daydreaming about a future I wanted but would never have. The sharp ding of my phone from beside my coffee mug brought me back to earth. Leaning over I unlocked the screen and smiled at the message in our groupchat.

Luke: Would you like to hang out with us today? :) Gabriel and Kota are going to be decorating the house and we all thought it would be fun if you joined us!! :)