Please Remember Me

Chapter 24

Sean made his first movement since I entered the office. One second he was in front of me, the next I was leaning against him with blurry vision. 

"Flower, you need to take a deep breath. Breathe, Tulip. Look at me." His warm hands encased my cheeks as he spoke. "Breathe." 

Gasping, I struggled to catch my breath, gripping his forearms like they were my last tethers to this world. After a few minutes of just staring into his eyes, trying to find any reason or indication that this was all a dream, and finding none, I pulled away. Suddenly, all I could feel was numbness. 

Is this what takes my life? Is cancer how I die? Will it hurt? 

I blanked my mind; the what if's would drive me insane. There were steps to be completed; actions to be taken to fight and stay in this life. First things first, I needed that biopsy. I skillfully avoided any further contact with Sean; physical or eye. I began speaking with Phil; told him to get my biopsy done, as soon as possible. We spoke for at least two hours about treatment options and scans and procedures. Around and around; all the while I began to realize there may be a very real possibility I do not make it out of this alive. 

As Phil began the biopsy of my wrist, Nurse Lisa spoke to me about all kinds of things. She told me about her husband, who was a marine biologist, and about her two children who were twin boy's that got into plenty of mischievous trouble. Her humor and charming persona, easily distracted me from the intensity of the moment. Before long, Phil was securing a piece of gauze on my wrist and gently telling me we were done. The results would be ready by the morning; Phil told me to be back by 8AM. 

It wasn't until I exited the building, spotting Sean leaning against his car, staring into the distance, that I remembered he was here. That's when it hit me. Christmas, a season of love and joy, was quickly approaching. The next two weeks should be full of family, light, and celebration. 

This was not the time for mourning. 

I couldn't keep the news from them all forever; I could never ask that of Sean. 

However, I could postpone it. 

Sean spotted me, and for the first time a smile didn't greet me. I spoke before he got the chance to even open his mouth. 

"I need you to do one thing for me, Sean. Do not tell them. Not until Christmas has passed." 

His lovely eyes studied me for a moment. Then a moment more. My silent plea won the battle in his eyes. Nodding his head he turned, opening the car door for me, but I took a step back. I stared at my shoes, my gut twisting. 

I felt like every step away from him, from them, was incredibly final. 

"Tulip.." I cut him off before he could say more; I couldn't stand the desolate tone. That is not how Sean is supposed to sound; ever. 

"I think...I need to go home on my own. I need to process. I'll see you later, okay? I promise..." My voice was almost a whisper; lacking any true emotion. 

Turning on my heel, I made my way to the bus stop, not once glancing back. The world suddenly felt too unexplored, my life having just started. I was too young to die. The treatments had to work. 

They had to.

A/N: Our poor Tulip </3. Thank you guys for bearing with me! This chapter was supposed to be longer; but I've left y'all hanging too long. Working on the next chapter which will be longer than this :)